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@MrsADS: I would totally try naked time with no diaper/undies yet like the Oh Crap method. Definitely bribe (I mean reward ) with M&Ms. The boot camp book I used recommended having them help clean up any accidents themselves so they could understand the natural consequences. I also totally bribed my kid to sit by giving him his tablet during potty time. I even brought the potty in front of the TV. It's stressful but you can do it!

I would definitely try rewards, my son responded really well to them (we did gummy bears).

But I'm also surprised daycare won't move him up until he is completely trained! Our daycare has a 3's classroom and while a lot of the kids are potty trained, some aren't and they are actively working on it. They know kids have accidents and even requested we send our son in underwear even though he wasn't consistent yet. Side note: we started this daycare at 3.5 and DS had just started using the potty consistently with only a few accidents, our prior daycare refused to let him go in underwear until he was completely accident free.

How helpful is your daycare?

I was in this exact situation last fall. DS was 3 in early October and the entire class was fall birthdays which would all be moved up in the beginning of January. He was not interested in trying to use the toilet.

Over Veterans Day weekend, I tried naked from the waist down and I failed. I discussed with his teachers the issue and they recommended bringing in lots of underwear and all of us trying starting the next Monday. He was able to hold his pee until naptime, when he got his diaper. After two days of this, daycare decided not to put him in a diaper at naptime. He finally had to pee and had his first accident at school. He then slowly made progress. We had several accidents at home, but he managed to be pee trained in a week or two when we asked him to go pee. I gave M&Ms for all successes.

I'm still dealing with poop accidents, but they are always at home. I keep bribing him to poop on the potty and give large rewards when he does so, but it doesn't seem to work. I'm hopeful that 5 days with my in-laws will get him to poop on the potty.

@LBee: I thought I had a pretty strong-willed kiddo but I didn't have that issue with rewards for going. Wow! I was going to say it was no problem for us to eventually phase out the rewards, but your mileage may vary.

Definitely pick up "Oh Crap Potty Training" if you can. It's got fantastic tips for how to potty train!

My youngest is also strong-willed, independent, and stubborn, so training him WAS a challenge, but doable. BRIBERY worked best for my son! He got reworded with m&ms after peeing on the potty, and I'd even give him one just for trying (he had to sit for at least 10 seconds to count as a try).

Definitely start off naked bottom. If you have a little potty chair, I'd suggest it. We brought ours out in the living room with us so he didn't have to go far to try peeing on the potty. You want to watch for the progression of knowledge (I peed, I'm peeing, I have to pee). And you have to watch them like a hawk so you can notice their cues. Even if he starts peeing on the floor, if you can grab him and run him to the potty seat so he can finish in the potty, that's reason to celebrate!

And whatever you do, DON'T make it a power struggle! Mine was so independent that I had to just be like "Here's the potty! If you have to pee, pee in the potty and then you get m&ms!" And then I basically had to leave him alone and let him figure it out on his own. But do what seems to work best for your child.

Good luck!

@MrsADS: Timed intervals didn't work for my son, who's willful like yours. Whenever I tried to force him to sit on the potty, he would refuse, it would become a power struggle, and he'd pee on the floor. I had to just let him take the lead and figure it out on his own! And make him help clean up accidents, but without shaming. And never say "That's okay!" when they have an accident. Say something like "Ooops! You had an accident! Pee goes in the potty. Here, help me clean this up."

@MrsADS: Could he stand to pee inside? Since he likes to pee in the grass? Or could you try a potty seat outside until he gets a routine of it then go inside? One trick we did was to throw a few cheerios in the toilet and have him try to hit them with his pee.

Bribery didn't work for us with treats. Instead I bribed him with letting him pee standing up in the tub or let him go out in the grass. He LOVED peeing in the tub and it worked well. He trained really fast.

@Adira: What she said.

We are doing it right now ... day two of being naked and at home. He’s on the “I am peeing” step of The Oh Crap Method. You’re supposed to watch them like a hawk for this method and now I can see why. If you do it, it works. Yesterday was great. This morning I tried to answer some work emails and I hear behind me, Mom, I’m peeing again! As he goes all over the floor. FWIW we did get a few fun new games to hype up our loooooong weekend at home but our son wouldn’t be motivated with m&ms!

I am totally pro rewards for potty training. I had a big bag of M&Ms, and as we got close to running out I showed her that we were running low. I said once we ran out that meant she was potty trained and didn’t need an m&m after she went potty any more. I kept some back ups for when we were out but surprisingly, it worked. Then she was proud and would ask for an m&m but then say, “but I’m potty trained now so I don’t need them.”

That and I am in favor of bottomless time, no diaper or undies. Then you can see the second he starts peeing. But I also potty trained my first in a small condo with wood floors. Now we have lots of carpet to contend with...

@Dahlia: Sure, feel free to wall me any questions!

@MrsADS: Part of the training process for us was teaching him to take a break and learn that whatever he was doing would be there when he came back. Time is a concept that most kids don't really get for a while, so a unit of time isn't the interval to the kids, it's before, after, during activities that coincide with the timing you choose.

As an example, use the bathroom right when you wake up, during transitions to other activities, before/after meals, at night.

I was also clear that this is a life skill, it's not something I created as a whim because I was bored and wanted to flex my parenting rules making muscle and my son really got it when presented that way. I also let him see us using the bathroom, making a big deal out of having to find a place when I was out so he could see it was normal behavior.

@peaches1038: Hahaha DW wouldn’t read the book either! I forced her to read a single chapter (5). LOL. I also agree with leaving the potty and saying, it’s there when you feel it coming! DS either won’t or can’t pee on command so there is no point in putting him on every hour.

@looch: that's a great idea, thanks!

@caitcat: Yay for success! How old is she?

@MrsADS: I was just coming to say that my 2.5 year old was insanely resistant to using the potty /toilet after a little while of just using it sporadically for a month or two. I decided she was ready around 26 months and was very nervous about pushback, but I read the OH crap book and told her we would have a butt day the next day and she was upset for maybe 5 minutes and then got over it.

I didn’t try pants or underwear until the end of day 2 I think and that was only because it was March and it was chilly. At one point I had her in a hat, and sweater and no undies or pants so we could try and do bottomless. I also had a 6 month old at the time we did potty training. I kept the little potty in the kitchen which is central in our house and got potty seats for the toilets. I also took the potty upstairs and put it into her room for her quiet time. I did not stress about her using the big toilets for the first week, but did not bring the potty to my familes’ Houses when we visited briefly that week because I didn’t want a weird “I’ll only pee in my potty situation”. 5 months in and we have had a bit of back and forth about using the big toilets vs potty if she’s in a bad mood. She’ll default to the potty which now lives in her room, but won’t argue with me anymore about using the other toilet. She will argue if she feels she doesn’t need to go pee now and so I don’t push her to when we leave the house anymore. I ask and f she says no then I leave it.

And for the when to add pants/underwear. In the oh crap book the lady suggests progressing to the next stage of clothing wearing only when they have fully mastered the current stage. For bare bum to pants and no underwear I think she said about 3-5 days which was accurate for us because when my daughter requested pants she peed in them right away and after three pairs of pants on the third day I said f that and we went back to naked from the bottom down. . She suggests going commando for a month and then adding underwear. If it wasn’t a social type of thing to wear underwear I feel like I wouldn’t even bother making my kid wear underwear because it’s one less step when you go to use the toilet. Some days there is no underwear worn if there has been a pee accident prior because she’ll get herself new pants.

For big toilet use I would say just use it when they want to for now if there is any reaistance. I would say we have to use the big toilet while we’re on the second floor because I didn’t want to bring the potty upstairs and same thing in the basement, but I didn’t do that until two weeks in and then three weeks in the potty stayed in her bedroom all day and it still lives there.

That was really long....I’m just in the midst of potty training now, but overall it’s going great and I was initially very nervous too, but had an end goal/date of September for preschool so needed to do it and wanted time in case it was a shitshow...haha! I also stay at home so I had freedom to stay inside literally the whole first week.