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Pregnancy After Loss Support Thread

  1. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @MaryM: thanks! I'm still pretty torn about whether I should get one at all . . . hoping by the end of this month I can feel more confident. I think your experience is right on with what I am thinking . . . right now will involve too much freaking out. that is exactly the input I need!

  2. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    @bhbee: I went back and forth on this. A friend of mine who has had multiple losses and is due a week before me got one for Christmas. I am really happy for her but, for myself, am concerned it would just freak me out too much if I couldn't find the heartbeat on my own. I think it totally depends on personality-my anxiety probably couldn't handle the "I can't find it, what if something is wrong, etc." so I'm just hopeful that things are going well and that I'll feel movement sometime in the next 4+ weeks. How are things going?

  3. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    I have my NT scan tomorrow at 13 weeks on the nose. Symptoms have changed in the last few weeks (way less nausea, but more heartburn, same amount of exhaustion). I felt okay the first two weeks after my last appointment but have been nervous over the last few days, and I am so anxious for tomorrow. If it goes well I'm planning to tell close friends and extended family about the baby. I also need to tell my clients sooner rather than later (I have my own business), since I showed really early this pregnancy and am having a hard time hiding it. Fingers and toes crossed all is well in there.

  4. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @ChiCalGoBee: so many good thoughts for tomorrow! I think I’m also in the camp where i couldn’t handle the anxiety. I felt movement around 13 weeks with my second so hoping it will also be early this time. I’m pretty sick so that helps me freak out less but i know it’s no guarantee.

  5. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    @bhbee: Thank you so much. Trying to remain calm. When is your next appointment? I want to be sending good vibes your way!

  6. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @ChiCalGoBee: thank you two weeks from today! We’re planning the nipt draw that day and hopefully it comes back with no issues.

    Keep us posted on tomorrow! I always get nervous as appts come up too.

  7. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    @bhbee: Thanks for your support! It went really well. Baby was measuring over a week ahead, so they're going to look at whether or not they want to adjust my due date. I am very relieved to have it behind me! Thinking of you, and hoping your two weeks until the appointment passes quickly!

  8. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: I bought one early in my pregnancy because I got a good price used, and first tried it at 8.5 weeks. I was expecting it to be too early and not to find anything, but I found the heart beat quickly. I did not have anything between a very early scan to make sure it was a pregnancy and not abnormal tissue from my partial molar pregnancy, and the NT scan at 12 weeks, and I liked knowing at least that the baby was alive for the moment. I limited myself to using it twice a week and never had too much difficulty finding the heart beat, despite an anterior placenta. It needs to be precisely located, but the youtube videos demonstrating are pretty helpful. I continued to use it until I felt regular movement, which was pretty late due to the anterior placenta.

    I hope the next couple of weeks fly by!

  9. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @ChiCalGoBee: that’s great! Measurements are so unreliable in my opinion ... my daughter first measured way behind so they moved my due date ... then she measured 10 days ahead of the new due date two weeks later! But i always liked measuring ahead

  10. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @periwinklebee: thank you! We have a lot of fun stuff going on so that should help - my son is 3 today and my daughter is 6 in 11 days!

    How are things going for you as you get so close??

  11. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: Happy birthday to your son! I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating! And that the next couple of weeks fly by.

    Only a few more days until the due date... I finished a work project and handed in my promotion packet yesterday, so that's a big relief! In some ways it's been good that things have been so busy, as I haven't had much time to worry or wallow in the discomfort

  12. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    Ugh ladies, had a horrible moment this morning and just had to tell someone who understands. Went to undress this morning and saw a little dried blood in just the right spot. I just couldn’t believe it and both started thinking “I can’t do this again” and planning about when i could go into the ob to check it out. Totally freaking out as this was the same time i saw blood last time.

    After a few minutes of freaking out i had time to check it out and didn’t find any more blood ... and then remembered that i trimmed down there last night and must have knicked myself. Huge relief but omg. This whole thing is still so scary

  13. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: I'm so sorry First tri really, really sucks. You are so close to having your NIPT done, and results will come back quickly with that. I know it doesn't take away the worry - or definitely didn't for me - but I hope it at least helps to breath easier for a bit. Thinking of you and sending so many good wishes

  14. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    @bhbee: I'm so, so sorry. Glad it was a false alarm!

    To make you feel better I'll share my TMI moment: I ran a half marathon Sunday and stopped in a porta potty at about the 9 mile mark. I noticed some brown on a panty liner and freaked out.....and realized it was not, in fact, blood, but....uhm....probably something else. . There's a lot that goes on down there. Your appointment a week from tomorrow cannot come soon enough!

  15. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @periwinklebee: @ChiCalGoBee: thank you ladies!

    And @ChiCalGoBee: you are right about a lot going on! Good thing with pregnancy and parenting you stop caring about things that used to seem gross

  16. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @periwinklebee: also sending you good thoughts for your last week (or days!) of pregnancy! Definitely update here when he comes

  17. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: Thank you!

  18. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: You must be almost to your NIPT draw - thinking of you and sending so much !

  19. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @periwinklebee: thank you! Yes it’s on Thursday. I’m super nervous about the appt and seeing a hb and correctly measuring baby. I think I’ve just reached that stage that comes every appointment where you feel negative and anxious. I’ve started feeling less awful overall which also makes me nervous, but no bleeding so hopefully all good. I just feel like I know too many sad stories - but, if I can get through another week, hopefully we can get good news. And I really am blessed so much already - my daughter (6 this week!) made me a sweet card because I was feeling pretty awful yesterday

  20. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: So close! I don't think I'll ever have an ultrasound that doesn't turn my stomach, but I am so hopeful for you. And that's super sweet about your daughter...I know feeling better can be nerve wracking, but still hope you start feeling better soon.

  21. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    Aaaaaaand right on schedule, dreams about bleeding and loss. It doesn’t help that this is right about the time i had my d&c last time. Is it Thursday yet???

  22. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: Pregnancy dreams are cruel - they can feel so real Do something to treat yourself today if you can, to make the time go by faster, Thursday is almost here!

  23. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    @bhbee: Ugh, those dreams are the worst . I'm so glad your appointment is almost here! No spotting is an excellent sign, so focus on that.

    I've had very vivid pregnancy dreams about the sex of this baby. We find out at the end of February, and clearly it's weighing very heavily on my mind because it keeps coming up! Of course this is a silly, frivolous thing to be dreaming about, but man are the dreams vivid!
    @periwinklebee: Are you hanging in there? How are you feeling?!

  24. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    Hi, all! I was feeling really down about measuring about 4 days behind and am feeling better about it. I've read so so so much about ultrasounds and how the standard deviation is about +or- 3-5 days. I am trying to hold onto hope that we had a good heartbeat and that this time of pregnancy is vulnerable for everyone.
    @bhbee: Oh man, I'm sorry for those dreams. Thursday is nearly here!

  25. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    Good news, saw our little wiggly baby today. Looked good and now i just have to wait for panorama. They gave me a login so I’m totally going to obsess about checking it myself. But feels like we are getting so close to where i can relax a bit.

    @ChiCalGoBee: i definitely dreamed about the gender last time. I guess this time I’ll find out too early for that??

    @crazydoglady: when is your appt? I am so hopeful for you.

  26. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @periwinklebee: thinking of you!

  27. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @bhbee: I'm so glad things are still going well! I have my next appt on 2/2.

  28. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    @bhbee: YES! Congratulations! What a relief! Hopefully you'll get NIPT results soon and can really start to relax and enjoy!
    I opted out of gender on our NIPT form because I didn't want to know this early in the pregnancy. It will be a fun surprise at our anatomy scan!

    @crazydoglady: There is such a huge degree of date variability in ultrasounds. I am so hopeful for you! Keep feeling well!

  29. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @ChiCalGoBee: I’m so torn about finding out gender early. I was telling my ob that it makes the anatomy scan less exciting ... instead of the big reveal it feels more like a chance to find out something is wrong. But of course seeing baby is still fun - it will be dh’s only ultrasound probably since we don’t have an nt.

    Of course I still checked yes because I have no patience

  30. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: I've been thinking of you and am so, so happy to see this!

    My baby is finally here - he arrived a little over a week ago, fast natural birth about a week after his due date, thankfully no induction needed! The first week with him has been the most amazing (and exhausting!) time ever. His weight gain has been on the low side despite eating constantly, so mostly just trying to figure out how to get my supply up...

  31. ChiCalGoBee

    nectarine / 2028 posts

    @periwinklebee: yay!! Congratulations, mama! So thrilled your rainbow has arrived 🌈❤
    @bhbee: Any news on NIPT yet? 🤞

  32. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @periwinklebee: I'm so excited to hear from you! I have been waiting for baby news - so happy he's here and you're all so happy. I read your Jan post too - I'm sorry for the stressful feeding situation - it's so hard to feel stressed about that when so much crazy new stuff is going on. I'm glad you're getting lots of help and hope a feeding plan comes together soon that works for you all.

    @ChiCalGoBee: I'm hoping today - I had it done last Thursday so it would not be crazy. The Panorama website says I should hear by Tuesday, but I know many people hear earlier and I would really love to be one of them. It's making me kind of crazy - I don't even care about gender right now, but I'm pretty sure I've started to feel movement and that plus not knowing whether the baby is healthy is just . . . I keep imagining the worst.

    So hopefully today so we can not think about it this weekend! I'm thinking I may ask the nurse not to tell me gender - since it will show up online, I thought it would be fun to look at it with DH.

  33. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: thank you!!! We are so happy, despite the feeding stuff to be worked out. I’m sure it will come together, they are like tiny little experiments...

    Fingers crossed the results come back today. That’s awesome about movement!

  34. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @periwinklebee: Congrats, mama!!!! I have been regularly checking to see how you are doing! It's hard early on but it sounds like you are doing great! So so happy for you!

  35. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    I wanted to update here as well, but baby is measuring right on track with my original due date! Solid hb of 180! I was so so worried after the baby measured small two weeks ago but everything looks great now!

  36. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @crazydoglady: Thank you! And yay - so , so happy for you!!!!

  37. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    So the good news is everything came back low risk! We are waiting a couple days on gender so we can hopefully find out together online.

    So it should be a huge relief and it kind of is but ... I don’t know. I still feel like I don’t want to tell people. This is kind of silly because honestly I’m ready to break out the maternity clothes, I need to tell people because it affects summer plans, etc. I’m going to be 14w on Friday and I told my mom about all 3 of my prior pregnancies after seeing heartbeats, but this time we’ve told nobody IRL.

    I know that can be normal - just wondering if anything helped you to tell? I kind of think I just need to rip the band aid. I’m seeing my family in person this weekend for my niece’s bday and probably it makes sense to tell before then. I have thought about telling our kids and letting them do it ... DH would be happy to wait as long as humanly possible but at this point I think we better do it.

    Sorry for the ramble! Probably another reason to tell people in real life so I have someone to talk to.

  38. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @bhbee: Such wonderful news!!! I had a hard time telling, like even with the language I’m expecting a baby, because after the losses I wasn’t really expecting it. I think it was ultimately good for me to tell because the fact that other people just expected it to happen sort of helped me to become more optimistic

  39. Mrs. Champagne

    coconut / 8482 posts

    @bhbee: I had a hard time telling people this time too. I ended up telling my mom via text the day I took the test so that 1) it was over with 2) she'd know it was early and not get her hopes up.

    I told a few people via text actually. Picture of the 13 week ultrasound. Now I'm 15 weeks and still super nervous pregnancy after loss is so hard 😫

  40. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6063 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: yeah I may just do text as well. I kind of feel like I should tell my mom on the phone but - something is better than nothing right? The words are just hard.

    I have zero good ultrasound pics but I’m hoping to tell our kids on Thursday with some shirts (since one of them can read now!) and thinking I could text that ...

    I’m still super nervous too. I’m hoping like @periwinklebee: said that telling people will help make it real. And when I get to feeling movement on a regular basis that will help I think.

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