okay. my four year old is a great kid.
but the whining..THE WHINING!
anyone else dealing with this? I don't like the idea of time out for whining. I try to ignore it. but what else is there to do?
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My 3 year old (just turned) whines a lot, at times. Not sure if you consider him in the same group as your LO, but I do short time outs if he's whining about something I consider really unreasonable, and for a longer period of time (i.e. whining about no TV/videos for the time being). Especially if I've already given him alternatives and told him he can do/play with whatever it is later.
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I ignore them (if I can) and if I can't, I tell them I can't understand them when they use that voice.
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I don't do time outs for whining either. My strategies are 1) ignore; 2) tell her I can't understand whining; 3) tell her "oh! You want to clean your playroom/help me with dishes/any other task I know she doesn't want to do - and when she says no! I tell her I thought that's what she said since I can't understand whining. She gets 2 options at that point: stop whining or join me in cleaning/dishes/whatever I "thought she said"
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@yoursilverlining: Brilliant!
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@yoursilverlining: ha love that.
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I treat it the same as when I hear rude requests from her -- I nicely ask her to try again. Usually that cuts the whininess and basic rudeness, but sometimes I have to give an example of what would be most polite (so, say, "water, please" is better than "water!" but i'd prefer her say "can you get me some water please, mom?")
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I have this condition where I just can't understand anything when they whine. It's really tragic, but they just have to use their big boy voices for me to understand.
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We remind her that we can't understand her when she's whining. We're currently in a rage-winey phase (she tends to shout demands) ... same thing. Just calmly remind her that we don't scream and yell in our family, and ask her to try again.
Usually, I get a lot of whining from her when I'm doing something other than paying attention to her. I try to either take a few minutes to really focus on her, or tell her that I'll be able to hang out as soon as I'm done with whatever task I'm working on.
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We teach a "calm voice" with this method:
https://daycaredaze.wordpress.com/2006/06/18/journeying-out-of-the-whinge-fringe/ -
We also ignore and remind her that we can't understand her. The whining and crying over little stuff was really about to make me go insane and we just instituted no screen time from Monday Morning - Friday Morning (she can watch TV on Friday nights and the weekend) and it has had a dramatic positive effect on her. So that may be something to consider.
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@Truth Bombs: we did the same, there's no screen time allowed during the week, the ipad is the biggest issue for us because my son becomes obsessed with it.
Ever since we did that, he doesn't whine, but he's also 6, so he's a bit older and responds better to this kind of thing.
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It grates on my husband more than me - he focuses on how "big boys" ask for things or communicate things. I usually say "I can't understand you when you are whining" - which prompts him to speak without whining. We compliment him when he asks for things properly or doesn't wine.
When he says something flat out rude or nasty he gets a strike. Three strikes means he loses bed time privileges. He'll be 5 next month and we finally decided this behavior isn't allowed....and it is working to curb that unwanted behavior.
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