Hellobee Boards

that sounds just right in my book another way that i also ask is "when did she come home?" or "how long has she been home?"

thank you for being sensitive about this!

As an adoptee, I think your question for the mom was fine. You are definitely being sensitive, so thanks!. I agree with @Mrs.Jacks about her no list. I think though those are very common questions people have and they really have good intentions. I still get asked those questions now as an adult.

I think this topic would make a great blog post! If I ever meet someone who has adopted a child, i would love to be a little more educated on what is respectful and what isn't (I would have easily used many of the phrases on your "no" list before seeing this @Mrs. Jacks:

Sometimes I get annoyed, mainly because I've been asked a million times already. Then I try and remember this person doesn't know me and is just curious.

On occasion I've said, "Im an American, but I was born in S. Korea. Where were YOU born/where are you from?"This moves the direction of the conversation at least.

Well, we aren't adopting, but I anticipate a few "what is he/she" comments anyway, sine our baby will be mixed race and brown/ tan and I'm very white =)
I'm weird and like that question tho.

@Mrs. Cowgirl: You pretty much nailed the list. Oh, and people had me terrified that I actually was going to get knocked up somehow while M. was an infant. Luckily, adopting a baby did not alter my reproductive capabilities!

@Mrs. Cowgirl: ah, perfect!

I get "what are you?" or "where are you from?" a lot, because my ethnicity is ambiguous. I usually clarify their question and say, "Are you asking my ethnicity?" which is usually a gentle hint that their question is rude and poorly worded. Then I tell them. On occasion, I get feisty and say, "human," or "I'm from Tennessee."

@MRS. LEMON-LIME: You are a teacher! Good job. You must be very patient.

I don't mind when people ask about our adoption. I think when did he join your family is good, or bring him home. It is a little rude to say when did you get him. It makes it sound more like a purchase than an adoption. But I am not sensitive about it and some people really are. So I would always be on the cautious side of things.

@Mrs. Jacks: I wish I could get people to stop telling me that I'm going to get pregnant as soon as we bring our baby home. Biggest pet peeve.

@Mrs. Polish: Me too! I swear, I get that comment almost everytime someone finds out I am adopting!

@Mrs. Polish: we were told that all the time. My response to people was. If I get pregnant right away then we will be even more blessed and it will never change my love for my child.

We did get pregnant right away with twins and everyone told me I told you so. I even had someone ask me if I regretted adopting instead of just waiting a bit. I was socked. I just said never in a million years would I regret adopting, do you regret having your first son just because you had a second? People just don't think before they talk.

@Mrs. Train: That is horrible. I cannot even imagine how I would respond if someone said that to me!

I don't know if it has been said or not, but never call bio children "real children".