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My approach is just let her be her. I don't push any learning on my 19 mo old. She will get there. I just want her to play and have fun.

Our approach has been what you are doing, and frankly I think it's the right approach and what is developmentally appropriate. I strongly believe that learning primarily occurs through free play. Yes, we've done some of those activities, but not right at two and no pressure to them (used on airplanes, etc.) I don't think they are necessary at all, especially if your lo will be attending preschool. Some of those toys are great, but I let my dd (now 3) use toys how she wants, not just doing the intended use. Sometimes it's annoying because she makes a huge mess, combining parts of all sorts of sets, but I know she is learning anyway.

I am with DD all the time and my approach is to teach at every moment, but not to make it like traditional teaching. For example, with enthusiasm, I taught her all the letters in the alphabet before 2 by using an animal alphabet book. She loves the book, and learning those is just a natural part of it. Or singing the alphabet. She also loves a song called, "I can count to ten!" She also loves a Hape alphabet puzzle, so she was learning naturally. Things like that. It is never forced, just what was natural at the time.

Nope. No forced learning in our house. He plays with toys how he wants to play with them. We have some of those early learning toys, but I'm not sitting there forcing him to count things or recite colors. If he groups things by color, that's great and I might praise him for it, but if he doesn't, that's ok, too.

T is in early intervention so it feels like we're always pushing him, but I just notice that once he's ready to learn something new, he explodes into it. It happens so naturally on its own and pushing him just frustrates him and accomplishes nothing.

I try and give him lots of opportunities to try and learn new things but I don't push colors or numbers on him until he shows interest. He pointed out the number nine to me one day and that same day we sat down with little magnets and lined up all the numbers together. He learned to recognize and say the numbers 1, 2, 3 and 6 (Forget 4 and 5 haha) within an hour.

I worry constantly about whether he's up to par with other two year olds and feel like I'm not sitting down and teaching him enough, but his play skills are awesome and I think that's where he's really learning. I just grab every opportunity I can when I see him ready for something new.

I don't know if it's safe to assume that children who know letters or numbers early are being "pushed" to learn them. my toddler knew her capital letters and numbers to 10 before age 2, but that's just because she had an interest in letters (and still does) and was interested in all things letters. We just had the melissa and doug puzzle, some fridge magnets, etc. But she was pointing out letters in signs from about 18 months. She already knows how to verbally spell her name and recognizes (just from rote memory) the words "dad" and "mom". And she draws faces and can draw some letters.

But there has never been any "formal learning" to speak of...those are just her interests, and we encourage those interests. On the opposite hand, she's always been slower on physical milestones and for instance, still can't steer her scooter that she got for her 2 year birthday--she can only ride it in a straight line. She's not great at kicking balls and throwing balls, whereas some kids this age are really great at those things. I don't stress that she's not good at riding a scooter when other kids her age have picked it up quickly. So I also think if a kid isn't into letters or numbers, their parents shouldn't stress about it at this age either.

I think it's hard to judge people unless you know them. My kids both had very early fascinations with letters and numbers, and begged me to "play letters" with them. To an outsider, that may be seen as pushing, but you cannot force an 18 month old, who doesn't want to, to learn letters, colors, numbers and shapes, a 2.5 year old to beg to "play math," or a 3 year old to read. Each kid has talents and passions, and each kid, barring disabilities that prevent it, will learn those things by about 5. It's so important when they're little, to play: let them put their hands in the dirt/ sand/ ocean, play with open-ended toys, learn to be part of a community, to share, express themselves, etc. If your little one has a certain area of intense interest, foster it, no matter what it is. Being pulled and fostering a genuine interest isn't pushing, and is ok.

@erinpye: I agree!

I talk constantly to my DD and ask her lots of questions about what she's doing and seeing. For example, she might point out the "pretty lights" on our Christmas tree and I might ask what colours she can see. Or she will point out a car and I reply "yes, a blue car". When we are playing with her kitchen and she is serving me food, I might ask for three bits of cake and then count them - 1,2,3. Or I might ask for the blue plate today. We count the stairs as we climb them. I never push her to learn anything, I just present the info as part of play and she usually catches on. From very early on, when we crossed the road, I would repeat "stop, look, listen" and would ask if she could see any cars. She totally ignored me every time and I just answered my own question and moved on. Then, recently, she looked and replied! It wasn't forced on her, it was just presented until she wanted to be interested.

@Anagram: @Greentea: @erinpye: Just to clarify, I wasn't saying that if a toddler DOES know their letters/numbers/whatever that they are being forced to learn them! If D plays with things, I'll name letters or colors or whatever, but I never sit down with him with the intent to "make" him learn it.

@littlebug: I got what you were saying! I think for some reason, because American society especially is very competitive with a huge emphasis on intelligence/ yet conversely talking about advanced abilities is seen as a negative, "pushing" or "bragging," (even though advanced athletes are openly praised), it kind of makes the whole thing touchy to discuss. When you have kids who do academic things really early, that can make other parents worry that they aren't doing something they should be, and that clearly the parent of the kid who is reading early is a big pusher, when neither is usually true. It is a very, very touchy subject and many people say hurtful things. (You didn't!)

Kids will learn naturally through play. videos, workbooks, flashcards etc. are not necessary. Read lots of books, narrate your day and talk as much as possible, and let them play with open ended materials.

ETA: Sorry, I was typing on my phone and didn't read all of the previous comments You already got lots of really good advice!

One interesting thing that I've seen as DD1 has gotten older is how much being able to recite/identify is totally different from understanding. For example, she has been able to count to 10 since around 2ish (she's 3.5 now) -- I thank her daycare for that one. But it was mostly just knowing what words to say in what order...then followed by being able to associate the name and the written number. Since being 3 she has been more interested in counting things, but just recently (like in the last week!) have we realized that she actually understands numbers as a quantity. She started describing to us how many days there were til Christmas, and that tomorrow there would be (n-1), all the way down to zero (Christmas!). She also was talking to DH and was saying how she is 3 and little sister is 1, but when she is 4 little sister will be 2, and on and on for a surprisingly long time.

All that to say, there are probably kids who couldn't do the recitation part as early but would catch on to the recitation & understanding at the same time (or closer than she did).

@daniellemybelle: love love the Endless apps at our house!

I just let DD be and have been really surprised at how much she has picked up just from the environment. i think there's such a wide range of normal at this age that you shouldn't worry until your Ped does. we all learn at our own pace.

For what it's worth, I actually am trying to avoid teaching letters and numbers to my 2.5 year old. She knows the first letter to a couple names (mama, daddy, her name, etc.), and can count to 10. If she is counting actual items maybe to 5. If we read an alphabet book I just read it. I don't ask her to point out or identify letters. I don't like to "quiz" her. Sometimes she does it organically. If she asks I will answer. We have letter magnets but she usually just matches colors or pretends they are something else.
I read about 20 books a day and we talk a lot. I am certain she will pick things up quicly in preschool next year. If she doesn't, I will help her more in kindergarten.

I don't think it's important or necessary for her/our family. I've read a lot about Waldorf educational philosophy (among others) and it resonated for me. There isn't a Waldorf school close enough, or I'd send her there for kindergarten to avoid what I consider to be prematurely teaching reading.

@erinpye: @Anagram: So much yes! I taught pre-k for five years and the range of knowledge these kids came in with at 4 years old was astounding. A lot of the time, the kids' specific interests made a huge impact. Some kids were extremely excited about sports, so they naturally were advanced in physical areas whereas others loved counting, letters, etc all on their own. My classroom was based on free play centers where kids would cycle through and find things to do based on their interests. By the end of the year, most students knew what they should before entering kindergarten, but they got there in their own way, in their own time, with help from teachers, parents, and peers.

My own 2 year old is obsessed with naming colors, letters, and most recently, counting. We talk about those things in our daily lives and he picks up on them. He was an early talker and I think the fact that he's been able to communicate pretty efficiently has helped with his learning in "academic" areas. That said, he's always been slower on physical milestones and didn't walk until almost 15 months. I just let him do his thing and try to foster his love of learning wherever that leads him.

@ShootingStar: Yeah... Flash cards for 2 year olds is nuts. We would have lost our state accreditation at my preschool if those were in the toddler classroom and used in a rote way!

@Orchid: I'm in Europe and the approach here is totally different. Here kids start learning letters and numbers when they go to school at age 6 or 7. They count before that and reading to them is pushed just as much as it is in the US but no letter/written numbers learning here. They can only be kids for such a short amount of time that really I don't want to force them into anything that I don't have to (unlike manners etc.).

I have been thinking a lot about this thread...and I think there is one clear problem when it comes to the idea of "pushing early learning".

Kids learn more in the first 5 years of their life than any other period of time. I am sure most educated parents have heard that before. So there is this hyper awareness that they have to make this time count.

The problem is that many times parents equate learning with school subjects, and assume that early learning means learning those things early. This couldn't be further from the truth. Early learning begins at birth. A 2 month old baby who lays on the floor observing the environment around them is learning. A 6 month old who is developing the motor skills to roll and crawl and sit is learning. A 2 year old who builds a tall tower with blocks is learning physics and math. A 3 year old who engages in imaginary play is practicing the way relationships work by acting out what she has seen modeled for her. These ARE learning. And they are the things that kids need.

Some kids may have an early fascination with letters and numbers. My own almost 3 year old can identify all of his letters and numbers through 10, but only because he has picked up on it through conversation. We read a lot, we talk a lot. He has some number and letter puzzles that he loves (along with lots of other puzzles that he loves), and like a lot of people have said before, he picked these things up naturally...we didn't force any of it. But if he went to school never having seen the alphabet because he was building and knocking things down and running and exploring the plants outside, he would still pick these up quickly upon entering school, because his brain has been primed for language from the beginning.

I also think that some parents equate learning numbers and letters with math and reading, when really it is such a small part of the big picture. A child who can count 5 objects is far ahead of a child who can name the numbers to 20, just like a child who can retell a favorite story and explain what the characters are doing is far ahead of a child who can sing the alphabet song. The goal is comprehension and being able to apply knowledge, not rote memorization. Workbooks and flashcards encourage memorization, not comprehension and application.

All that said, I think it is really wonderful that there is such a huge push for early learning in our country...now we just need to educate the public on what early learning should look like, instead of trying to move learning that is appropriate for older students earlier and earlier.