Trying to get out of the newborn/infant relationship slump 
So I'm looking for input on quality time scenarios when outings/dates out of the house aren't really an option. I've come up with breakfast in bed before kiddos wake up, DVD night, drinks at home, a walk, nice dinner after kids are in bed, short coffee date, and cards.
Anyone have ideas on ways to make a QT feel the love without getting a sitter?
pomelo / 5326 posts
We love playing cards or board games together. I think cards is a great idea. I know you said that you wanted ideas for home..... But we love Escape Rooms. Have you done one yet? They only take an hour and you can just come straight home and discuss it together. They're a perfect couple activity as you have to work together to solve a series of puzzles. You really only need a sitter for 1.5 hours tops. DH and I love doing escape rooms!
persimmon / 1467 posts
I made DH a year of dates (one for each month) last year and tried to do things that's that we could do with the kid. I'm sure it is much harder with two that age.
Some I did:
-cereal and board game night (went to the grocery store and picked out our favorites for after bedtime)
-pretzels at the mall (with DS in tow but he was too young to know the difference
-a lemonade date at panera
- tennis date (DS just hung out in the court with us)
persimmon / 1322 posts
Our quality time often centers around being outside. We try for nightly walks, and a longer walk or hike most weekends. We plant a veggie garden every year, and that's fun to plan and care for together. When it's hot enough for daily watering, we spend those few minutes together in the evening--one of us keeps an eye on the kiddo, the other waters, we talk.
grapefruit / 4903 posts
My love language is quality time too. My favorite date nights with DH at home lately are fires outside. We bought a chiminea (outdoor fireplace) for $75. Now we regularly have a fire and s'mores or wine or whatever after the girls are in bed. We also love playing board games together after bed time. I try and get up early in the morning to get ready for the day together or have a cup of coffee. Family walks are big for us too (the 16 month old hangs out in the stroller and our 3 year old zooms ahead on her scooter, so we can actually talk). We also do our own themed tasting nights at home sometimes - fall beers, chocolate ice creams, etc. For me it's less about the activity than the time and conversation, so something we can do passively while still chatting is key.
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
When the weather was warmer, DH and I sat in the backyard with wine and some nibbles with the monitor next to us. I also try to make a dessert once a week we can share at night - this week is an ice cream pie! Or one of us will go out and bring home a treat, like an Icee or a milkshake. Tonight DH and I are watching a hockey game together. Other nights when we are tired, we just lay in bed in the dark and chat about our day for an hour while the house is quiet and that's nice.
clementine / 935 posts
@delight: We did one at Christmastime and it was so much fun! I can't wait to try again sometime.
pomelo / 5258 posts
There was a blog post a while back about 2 person games. I bought a few of them forDH and myself. We really enjoyed playing those after bedtime.
nectarine / 2242 posts
@MrsH: Not sure if you both work, but we both do and what we do is go on "dates" while our kids are in daycare 
Today we went for breakfast after dropping them off, it only took 20 minutes but was SO good for us! Sometimes we meet up for lunch as well, it's nice because we aren't paying an extra babysitter.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
My husband and I go for lunch during the week about once a month.
We could use some help in this department as well, we are homebodies during the work week.
nectarine / 2987 posts
We did weekly home date nights for a while. I got some ideas online, but the most important bit was putting our phones on the counter and leaving them there.
Play HORSE with our 2yo's inside basketball set (so silly, so fun)
Cook a new dessert
Swap foot rubs
Assemble kid furniture (we like making things together)
Reorganize garage tools (this is fun for DH)
Make a shutterfly book together
Take a shower 
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
DH's love language is quality time too! Big thing is NOT USING OUR PHONES. It's so hard... But there are nights when we plop down on the couch and while we're "together", we're just surfing on our phones and suddenly it's time for bed and we didn't connect one bit. So we'll usually have beer/wine, eat some snacks, chat, and then watch a show together. In the summer when it's warm, we sit out in the patio.
pear / 1586 posts
We started getting Blue Apron for this reason. We have a weekend (Thurs/Fri) delivery and have at-home date nights where we cook together (after DS is in bed), drink wine, and then usually watch something on Netflix afterward.
honeydew / 7622 posts
We go on walks. There is a brewery 1 mile away and we will walk there with DD in the stroller and have a pint on the patio. We go to a lot of wine events/ wine tasting- I like to pack picnics.
pomelo / 5628 posts
Any chance you have a hot tub? We go in regularly and that's the place we have our best conversations because there's nothing else to focus on. Maybe even just sitting outside? Smores by fire? (I wish my DH's love Lang was QT! He's more ADD...!)
clementine / 756 posts
These are all great ideas! My husband and I are a big fan of Scrabble and other board games!
nectarine / 2085 posts
Our "dates" pretty much always involve LO--we go to the beach, go for long walks/hikes in the local park, etc., and LO comes along. We also get together with friends nearly every week for dinner/drinks and a movie at one of our homes. Classic movies and some documentaries work really well for this because they are mostly free of objectionable material, but they're not "kiddie," so it's entertaining for the adults. And yeah, sometimes we just watch half of a movie at a time... We also try to do coffee together in the morning on our porch/in the garden before LO gets up.
ETA: Oh, and I forgot, but sometimes we read aloud to each other. It usually works that he'll read to me (and LO) after dinner while I pack things up. We pick novels/nonfiction that are written for adults, but that we're okay with LO listening in on.
clementine / 854 posts
Love the idea of the fires after bedtime. We often do this with friends, but it never occurred to me to enjoy it with just the two of us and some s'mores and drinks (when I'm not pregnant).
I don't know your daycare situation, but we schedule weekday dates every now and then. Sometimes it'll coincide with a work holiday when daycare is open. Other times, we'll both find a Friday and take the day off but send DD to daycare. We'll go to a nice lunch downtown and shop.
honeydew / 7667 posts
@delight: there is one about thirty minutes away - so that would still turn into a larger outing - they do sound fun though.
@rattles: for sure that the activity isn't as important as the conversation but still nice to have something other than sitting on the couch staring at the wall (can you tell I'm not a QT?
honeydew / 7667 posts
@gingerbebe: lol - when we lay in bed and I want to talk DH is always so tired he wants to sleep - help me out buddy I'm trying to spend QT with you doesn't get me very far.
@Corduroy: which did you like?
@HappyBaker: we do both WOH and I've got drinks at 4 tomorrow scheduled with him
honeydew / 7667 posts
@looch: ugh, I asked that we "act crazy in love" with each for a little while so I'm really trying to find as many QT ideas as I can to implement. This shit is hard.
@MrsSRS: yeah we are trying to implement phones at the door but it has been a struggle for both of us.
@snowjewelz: you've just described the last year of my life (the phones part not the other
honeydew / 7667 posts
@Mrs Green Grass: no hot tub and it's snowing in April in Michigan so outside isn't even an option at moment
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@MrsH: In passing, I once mentioned to my husband that we should consider "dating" each other again (like in doing stuff, not with other people, lol) and he looked at me like I had three heads. His response was "We're married, I don't want to date you again."
I tried to look at my husband's interests, but they are so not what I am into (Cars, mobile phones, computers). We recently took a family trip to a car show, I liked it but I am not sure I am ready to start going on a weekly basis!
honeydew / 7667 posts
@looch: I think we are married to the same person
basically it said if we were going to make soul-bonding type connections that they aren't just going to happen in the normal humdrum of life and that is why this man dates his wife.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@MrsH: Ha, I agree with everything in that blog post, but out of curiosity, if you sent that to your husband, what would his reaction be?
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@MrsH: Mine too! It's official, you and I are apparently sister wives.
nectarine / 2987 posts
@MrsH: It's hard! That's why we did one night a week. So, kids go to bed, phones go on the counter, and then even if all we do is watch tv, it's still more intentional and conversational.
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