Hellobee Boards

So, generally speaking, I highly recommend the book Siblings Without Rivalry - it’s a great, quick read. With our 4 year old, I try to be accommodating of her need for attention- “are you pretending to be a baby because you think we’re only paying attention to the baby?” “Do you want to go in the stroller because the baby is going in the stroller?”
I try really hard not to snap and tell her she’s being ridiculous when she whines that there isn’t any place for her to sit when the baby is in the stroller (early on she saw the stroller in the car and had a fit that she needed a place to sit FOR THE WALK FROM OUR DRIVEWAY TO THE HOUSE) and instead I just validate her feelings, acknowledge that it’s hard since the baby came and changed things, acknowledge when the baby is demanding attention, etc. I also praise her excessively for being patient, kind, generous, and a good big sister. I let her play with the baby’s toys and read the baby’s books as much as she wants (even though it’s so annoying especially when she comes into the baby’s room while I’m nursing and wants to sit in my lap).
Anyway, I basically say yes whenever possible, even if she’s too old for something, etc., and I try to not pit the baby’s needs against hers - so I try not to tell her, “wait, I need to help the baby first” and instead say, “thank you for being patient while I do X.”

I don’t know how old your LO is but LO1 turned four shortly after LO2 arrived last spring. He tried to get in some of the baby equipment when we were getting it out ready for baby. It was completely not an issue once baby was here. He wanted in the stroller one time over the summer and we let him have a turn while we held baby and he never asked ever again after that!

@crazydoglady: same!

Also if there really is a safety issue, which there sometimes is with my 4yo, I am just really straightforward and firm. Like, you can not be in the pack n play or crib period ever. I will let him play some baby stuff to make him feel loved and like he’s getting attention but there are certain things that are a hard no. Seems to go fine.

There's a kids book that I got for DS when I was pregnant and I can't remember what the name is now but it talked about how the baby was coming and what the baby can do but then it talked about all of the things that he gets to do that the baby can't. Some of it was running and playing but it was also things like eating ice cream and apples. My son really responded well to that.