Hellobee Boards

I'm a major rule follower (people pleaser & perfectionist.) I do question rules at times, but mostly to myself and often find it's not worth the trouble to rock the boat. It stresses me when others don't follow the rules and feel like it breaks down order in society lol (I also think I have some anxiety going on and rules and control and knowing what to expect all make me feel better.) I'm definitely a lifelong rule follower. I can remember being in preschool and stressing about kids who didn't follow the rules!

@DesertDreams88: I'm the same, a mix of following and questioning. It's definitely had its difficult moments at work for me too.

I'm a rule follower, but I ask way too many questions to make sure I am following the rules. I bet all my questions makes others really think about the spirit of the rules.

I'm pretty much like you. I am definitely a rule follower. I am very uncomfortable breaking/ignoring rules and I like very clear black and white boundaries and knowing I'm well within the lines. At the same time, I need the lines to make sense. I have no issues with rules when they make sense but when things seem irrational or unfair to me, I have a really hard time with it.

I like to appear as if I am following the rule but then I just do my own thing according to my conscience. So I am a closet rule ignorer/breaker. For team sake and in a leadership position, I follow and explain the rule because I know why it is in place and want others to do it...but then I can always consider another perspective that justifies why the rule doesn't apply in a specific situation so I can do my own thing! I am a terrible role model when it comes to following rules. I really like it when everyone else follows the rules though. I realize it might sound horrible to say all this!!! I am also a walking contradiction because I often just really want a strong sense of belonging/ community so I usually can be persuaded to conform even when my instinct is to do my own thing.

All of the above depending on the situation. I march to my own tiny drum.

I think we all live within the confines of rules, honestly, if you didn't at least observe some rules, you wouldn't be able to function in a society.

@DesertDreams88: We all make our own rules, I guess I don't understand what you're really trying to get at...I mean, I have rules that I impose on my son, they only apply to our family.

I tend to follow the rules as I've seen what happens when you don't. I get it, some administrative rules can be annoying, but I think they're often there for a reason. If you can't solve your issue within the confine of the rules, then question them. We shouldn't not question them, that's after all, how innovation occurs.

Chronic rule breakers, though, are in a different category in my mind.

@looch: Not all people are natural rule questioners - just look at the poll results!

I'm just naturally a rule following. There's comfort in knowing the rules and following them. And it gives me anxiety when other people don't follow rules. For example, I had friends who drank before they were 21 and that gave me a lot of anxiety when I was younger. Now that I'm older, I can totally see that the arbitrary age of 21 is silly, but my inclination is to follow rules and assume they are there for a reason.

I'm a rule follower now and sometimes a perfectionist. Oh, in the car, I speed and get pissed off at drivers, but not road rage type stuff.

Of course, back in college and high school, I didn't always follow the rules. Now as a mom, I'm set in my ways to follow the rules.

I will break from instructions in creative/artistic settings like those paint and wine places.

ETA: Oh, I also don't like getting in trouble. I also trust people in authority or in uniform (cops, doctors, etc.) Although, it does annoy/anger me to read about cops (or even doctors) who think they are above the law. If I saw a cop, I would trust them and do everything they told me to do. I admit, I sit here as asian woman. I know privilege. (I don't want to get political but I feel I have to say this.)

Oh, Trump is not authority in my book.

I grew up with authority that didn't always make decisions that were wise, in my opinion. I stifled disagreement for many many years to get along. Now I have come into my own and do my own thing i. e. think for myself and am happy. I own outcomes I can take full responsibility for in the situation. It is my fault not the rule's fault if things go wrong. I don't question too much. I know why it is in place. I make my own rules. Not rude or harmful to others but just not willing to stifle who I am for other's sake, generally speaking. Authority and rules shift over time. I just figure out what I stand for and value and do that. And yes at work, teachers who question authority are not the norm and get a lot of flack. We need more teacher voice/questions/solutions to be heard. Many educational decisions are made by admin. That is why we either need to become the admin and leave the class, work for supportive admin or have/create a venue/process to get more questions/solutions answered in a valued and respectful way.

@808love: Just curious, in what instances do you make your own rules? In your family, or in instances where it impacts others too?

I think we're in a unique situation in my son's school, in that the admin really values people to question and give their input. We are basically a start up school with only 3 grades right now so I think there aren't a lot of established practices to deal with.

@looch: In the school line, I would wait my turn. If I'm late, it's my own fault so I would just have to get to get to work late.

@SweetiePie: oh man! That would be tough for me! I think dh was more of a rule breaker as a kid/teen but owning a business and dealing with clients (and being around me lol) has helped him see the rule following light

@bluestriped bee: that comforts me to hear, lol!

@808love: I agree with you on most of the rules that you're not following. I don't think the majority of them really impact anyone other than your immediate family. I am okay with the hugging students if they initiate, I think that's okay in our district.

I am mostly a rule follower. I question, but who has time to really understand the effects of ALL rules? I know from working in a couple different fields, and from seeing what my dh deals with at his job, that there will always be complainers about rules who think they know better.. so even though I might complain to dh or a friend or my mom or whatever, I mostly try to leave things to the experts. That's not to say I'm perfect or I never do my own thing either.. I don't think anyone follows every single rule perfectly.

And as for the speeding thing.. I don't speed a lot, but if I went the exact speed limit around here I feel like that could be more dangerous?

@bluestriped bee: Haha! I am a very cautious driver, I get so bent when people disobey the drop off and dismissal rules. It's sooooo rude.

I'm at heart a rule ignorer but I'm also socially and politically savvy so that means I generally follow the rules at work and in society. I have zero trouble generally following the rules but I don't do it because I feel I should or have to. I also don't feel any moral discomfort or internal conflict when I don't follow the rules because I'm not a rule follower and why should I follow a rule that doesn't make sense or is inherently unfair/wrong?

Im generally flummoxed by complete rule followers in parenting, especially when they obviously are only looking at parenting in 2017 in America as their rule guide. I just don't deal in absolutes so easily.

I like the big picture rules for living as a community.

But I had one roommate that made me realize that the least fun, most rule oriented way of behaving doesn't always mean correct or most successful way to go. I do have a tendency to follow rules and want to respect others but at the same time there's a point where I don't feel the need to adhere to others neurotic view of perfection