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@LCTBQE: first of all, I am so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is awful and so hard to go through. Mine was also a missed m/c that resulted in a d&c so I have been in your shoes. I had the same feeling of trying to control the outcome to make sure things would be different the next time. I could have asked for testing of the baby but it was not covered by my insurance and my ob felt it was chromosomal as well. Unfortunately m/cs are very common and often unexplained. It is my understanding that most of the time one loss does not correlate with problems in future pregnancies.

I tried to focus my desire to control things on making my body healthy: eating right, exercise etc, and I am now on maternity leave with my healthy two month old. Good luck!

@LCTBQE: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss

Mine is a very similar story to yours, except we we were TTC for our second. I found out at our 8w scan that it was a missed MC at 6.5w, and the fact that I had no warning signs freaked me out the most & made it really shocking. I had a d&c a few days after I found out - had to wait over the weekend in unknown limbo of what was best option for me (d&c or natural) and as rough as that was, gave me a bit of closure before the procedure.

Like you, I also wanted to know why but was told it was chromosomal & they wouldn't do further testing unless it happened 3 or 4 more times!! So I just had to accept that it's common and happens a lot...to everyone.

I did have slightly underfunctioning thyroid that was only addressed following the MC, which I really think contributed to it...though all the doctors I have spoken to say it isn't directly related.

They did reiterate that it wasn't me that was the problem, and it was an unfortunate failing at the chromosomal stage. It was hard to just accept that it was bad luck as I considered myself 'healthy' and 'normal' but I think it really is just luck of the draw!

I took a few weeks just to take it all in and have days in bed etc, and tried to treat myself as much as I felt like it (which wasn't a lot). I then joined the gym just because I was feeling really crap about the extra bloat and weight that I had put on for the non-viable pregnancy...and that has actually helped so much, I think it's about the time out (they have on-site crèche) and also exercise endorphins...soon I was able to not cry every time I thought about the MC.

Best thing I did was talk to two friends who have had previous miscarriages. They were amazing sources of comfort and it was nice to speak to people who knew exactly what to say.

Definitely getting easier, we are still aiming to TTC this cycle...but still hurts like hell whenever I hear of friends and family announcing March babies. But hopefully time will continue to ease that pain.

Hope you get some comfort in the stories on here too, there are lots of women who have gone through so much - it's sad but also amazing how strong they are.

Sending a hug and best wishes for you - hope you get your rainbow baby soon!

PS: sorry for the novel!

@LCTBQE: I'm sorry for your loss. I had a loss in April. Mine was slightly different as I have one DD already, so we know I have no issues that would seriously impact carrying a pregnancy to term. My OB tried to test for chromosomal abnormalities after D&C at my request (just because it would have given me closure) but couldn't get cells to grow.

Statistically the most likely explaination is a chromosomal abnormality, and you are likely to have a healthy pregnancy next time. But it is so hard to trust. I'm ten weeks pregnant now and feel like I'm holding my breath waiting for bad news still. My OB did offer me Harmony genetic testing this time so I will have earlier confirmation everything is ok chromosomally. Good luck and be kind to yourself. Hoping for a sticky baby for you soon!

I'm so sorry. I just had a missed miscarriage too (in August) - I'm 6 weeks post D&C today. Chromosomal problems are INCREDIBLY common (about 25% of pregnancies are lost to them before 12 weeks) so your OB is right there's not much you can do at this point. Just try to have faith and keep trying. My heart goes out to you.

I had a missed miscarriage earlier this year that also involved a D&C. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My OB sent off the tissue to be examined for chromosomal defects, and it came back negative. In other words, why the baby quit growing will always be a mystery.

I had to keep telling myself I was able to get pregnant so it's just a matter of when we can start TTC again. I also have a little boy (2 yrs old) so that helped me as well. I got pregnant once we got the all clear to try again. Good luck to you! *hugs*

@LCTBQE: I'm so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is definitely something that is not talked about often enough, and it's really hard to go through.

I've chronicled my story here a few times, but I've had 4 miscarriages. Two before LO and two after him. My OB continued to tell me that it was just bad luck. After the 4th, I let him know that I was either going to go see a specialist without him, or he could refer me to one. She did a slew of testing to ensure that everything was ok, and she found a good amount of scar tissue in my uterus that she thought was causing the problem. I had surgery to remove it and I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my 6th pregnancy and hopefully second live child.

Most OBs won't send you for additional testing unless you have 3 miscarriages in a row. That was the issue with my OB...though 4 out of my 5 pregnancies ended in miscarriage at the time, I had LO in between, so they weren't technically 3 in a row. I knew something was wrong though, which is why I insisted on seeing the specialist.

My SIL had my niece and nephew, and then miscarried her 3rd pregnancy in the same fashion (missed miscarriage with a D&C). She went on to have my niece a few months later. It's so common for women to have miscarriages, but it's not common knowledge unfortunately. I hate to say to wait it out, but when you become pregnant again, call your OB right away so that he/she can get you in for an early blood test to help ease your mind.

I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks with my first pregnancy (baby stopped growing a day or two before the ultrasound). I had a D&C the next day and they did testing that confirmed it was a chromosome abnormality (Turner's Syndrome). It was an awful, emotional time, especially while we TTC again. Right around the time of my original due date, I got pregnant and my healthy little boy is 22 months and I also now have a 6 week old.

I know it's hard and so unfair, but chromosome issues are incredibly common. I know so many women who had a miscarriage and went on to have healthy babies.

One thing that tremendously helped my anxiety during my last two pregnancies is having chromosome testing done on the babies via blood test (like MaterniT21, Harmony, etc.). My insurance didn't cover it, but I only had to pay a very small portion of the bill and the peace of mind was so worth it.