I am transitioning from being a WOHM to a SAHM. Right now I am just in survival mode since DD2 is only 4 weeks old, but at some point I would like to make a loose schedule for us (DS1 is 2.5). I am introvert and I know if I don't schedule activities for us that we'll just sit at home and that isn't fun for anyone. So, SAHMs, what do you do? Do you follow a daily or weekly schedule?
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I try to have both but we get thrown off all the time (sickness, holidays, travel etc...then it takes me a while to get back into our routine). I have a 3yo and a 6 month old. We try to do weekly things (like a music class, story time, gym, walks, park, etc) so we have one “get out of the house” thing every day. But a lot of them aren’t set in stone (like going to the park - if weather isn’t good, we stay home). We have approximate daily schedules / they’re not strict AT ALL, just what we try to do. I feel like we need to be better but it’s been a long winter with a new baby and now that spring is coming etc hopefully it will work out!
Seriously, though. It’s so good for us all to leave the house. My 3yo hates leaving but has fun once we do so I talk it up beforehand. Although we have those days when I’m like “what did we even do??”
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@LadyDi: I have a 4 year old and 3 month old. I work 2 days a week but DH is home those days with the boys.
We put our 4 year old in a 3 day a week morning program from 8:45- 11:45. A normal day at home with us all there goes like this:
- baby wakes up 6:30/7 am. Change diaper, get 4 year old out of bed and head downstairs. We all eat breakfast.
- we sit and watch a show while I have some coffee. Baby goes down for a nap around 8:30. Get the 4 year old dressed and ready for the day and take a quick shower while he plays in his room.
- Baby is up at 9. Head downstairs and baby plays on his mat while I do puzzles or board game with 4 year old. Ser him up to do something on his own, feed baby and start some laundry. Baby goes back down for a nap
- fix lunch at 11:30. Baby is back up. Read with 4 year old or play.
- quiet time from 1-3 for 4 year old. Put baby back down for a nap and try to nap myself or do some chores.
- 3 pm, the oldest gets a show or tablet time while I feed baby. We then go outdoors around 330. for a walk or to play if the weather is nice. We are out until 5 and then back in to fix dinner for 5:30. Baby goes back down for nap around 5.
Dinner, and then bathe the oldest and get him ready for bed. Baby is up so all back downstairs to play or if I'm just done, a show before bed. Take baby upstairs around 7 to do bed routine and he's down by 730. Put older child to bed and finished by 8.
- Finish up a few chores and then relax and watch a show and bedtime for me at 930 pm.
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I have a 10month old and a 28mo old (so almost 2.5)
I am too an introverted but I also hate sitting at home with the kids. DS (2) is very energetic and likes to be out and about. We try and leave the house twice a day (morning/afternoon). I NEED a scheduale or else I would get too underwhelmed (not overwhelmed, mostly like too bored haha). We mostly follow this scheduale, though obviously not always exact times ha.Mornings
6:30-7: both kids wake up,
7-8:30: eat breakfast, low-key play time.
8:30-9: 2 year old gets one show while I drink my coffee
9- DD goes down for morning nap, I get ready while DS follows me around. We have one on one playtime till DD wakes up. With this time I try and do something educational like work on drawing lines and circles (precursor to writing), letter sounds, numbers. We make it fun and he likes this time with mama.
10:30-11:30- DD up, we run errands. with two kids I usually only do ONE errand at a time so this is grocery shopping or going to pick up something random etc if there is nothing that needs to be done we sometime take a walk.
11:30 lunchAFTERNOON
12:00 DS naptime
one on one time with DD. I play with her some, but she is also much better at independent play so I’ll eat while listening to a podcast or audiobook, do dishes, laundry etc.
1:00 DD nap
MOM TIME! usually read or look at my phone haha. Also usually prep dinner
2:30 kids up, snack time
3:00-4:30 usually we walk to the park for a bit, or do puzzles, or play inside together for a bitEVENINGS
4:30-5:00- bathtime
5:00 DS gets one show while I make dinner
5:30 dinner
6:00 DH is back and we do “family time” (hide and seek, read books together etc)
6:30 bedtime for both! They have a super short night routine so it’s basically lights out right at 6:30
6:30-10 parent time. We eat (sometimes I eat with the kids), watch a show or basketball and read. Then sleeeeeep!One more note: DS is in a Mother’s Day Out preschool program, 9:30-2:30 Monday’s and Friday’s, but I follow this scheduale more or less still with DD during those days
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Oh also: we usually have a play date 1-2x a week (mornings till lunch), and try to pack a lunch and go to the zoo once a week (after breakfast till naptime)
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I like having a loose schedule. When they nap more it’s harder to get out but I basically enjoy having a plan which may involve classes (like ballet etc), preschool, etc and then into that I fit in a schedule for chores and errands so that my to-do list feels manageable. It gets moved around but it gives me a starting point. Also I try to make a bucket list for things to do so I have a reference if we’re getting bored. It can include all kinds of things - specific parks, library story hours, play places, museums, so free to a bigger event. I especially use that in summer when there’s no school and it’s often too hot to be outside as much of the day here.
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I'm a partial SAHM, with longer maternity leaves and summer break. This is what has worked for me during the toddler phase:
"Out of the house" activities: 3 different parks, 2 libraries, errands, splash pads (if weather appropriate), the zoo (membership), Children's Museum (membership), indoor play place (pay per entry).
All of those have particular days, so I don't have to think/decide. So, Monday is indoor play place, Tues & Wed are errands and libraries, Thursday is splash pad or special park, and Friday is zoo or Children's Museum.
As for the day:
7-8 Reading & Independent Play
8-9 Breakfast & Puzzles or Playdoh (at table)
9-11 Out-of-the-house activities (see above)
11-12 Playroom time
12-12:30 Lunch, nap routine
12:30-2:30 Nap
2:30-3 Reading
3-5 Park/Active Play outside (with snack)
5-6 Independent Play
6-7 Dinner & Music / Dance
7-8 Bath & Bedtime RoutineETA: I don't have arts & crafts time bc LO is NOT interested, but it could fit well in the morning around breakfast since he's already at the table. Or if LO was less independent / needed more structure, then one of the independent blocks could be turned into arts and crafts time.
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Im a mostly SAHM to a 2.5 year old. (I recently went back to work 2 days a week) but normally, I try to get out in the morning.....1 day a week I have a scheduled activity (swim class, which would be impossible with a newborn but maybe something like music would be good). The other two days I leave open for whatever....children's museum, zoo, park, story time at the library, etc. (We have a shared membership with a friend to the museum and zoo.) When I was home full time, I usually tried to have 2 scheduled activities a week. Our parks and rec department has great options and they are usually pretty affordable. I have a good friend with a daughter about the same age as my son so we try to get together at least once a week.
So we do a morning activity (try to get out of the house by 9am and home by 11:30/12), nap, then play at home in the afternoon/make dinner/clean/etc. If its nice, we'll walk to the park or play outside.
I recently started following the dad lab on instagram and got a kids science book so I can do more brain stimulating activities at home rather then just play.I've definitely found its necessary for me to get out of the house mostly every day. Im an introvert as well but it helps make the days pass by and my son gets naughty if hes bored so getting out helps!
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I've had SAHM stints (I took very long mat leaves with both kids and for a long time only worked 3 days a week). Our kids are 20 months apart. Currently 3.5 years old and 20 months old.
I had both kids at home with me when DS2 was a newborn. During that phase I had to lean on a mommy's helper or a teenager to help with DS1. Mostly, he needed physical activity in the morning in order to be ready for nap in the afternoon. So some combination of helpers and DH would take him in the morning to the park to run around. I would get lunch ready around 1130am. DS1 would go down for nap somewhere around 1230pm-1pm for 2.5-3 hours. DS2 meanwhile was working on establishing his own nap schedule and I would try to get the kids' naps to overlap in the afternoon so I could get a break. During the nap overlap, I usually gave myself 15-30 minutes to hurl something into the Instant Pot for dinner and then rushed to lay down and get some rest. Then everyone would wake up and it would be hot chaos for a while until DH came home and he could help out with the dinner/bath/bedtime routine.
We set up a mud kitchen, a sandbox, and a lot of big toys in our backyard so that I could keep DS1 out there on days where I did not have any help or in the dead time between nap and dinner. I also planted a garden so that DS1 could pick fruit and veggies to eat and learn about plants and bugs and what not. I could watch DS2 on the monitor and play with DS1 outside. On hot days, we threw on the sprinklers or had a small pool to splash in. Once DS2 was a little older, we kept an old PNP on the patio that I could pop him into with some of his own soft toys and everyone could be outside together for a little while.
I would allow some TV time (30 mins) once a day and then we had some independent play time in his room daily (I literally put DS1 in his room with some toys, put up a baby gate, and set a timer for 30-45 minutes. I would watch him on the monitor and always be within earshot, but we believe in teaching our kids how to play alone sometimes). It was also necessary because DS1 had a really weird reaction to my feeding DS2 for a while, so I had to keep him occupied during feedings. We also usually did some kind of playing together that was either art or building/puzzles like Magnatiles or blocks at some point in the day. I did not really do anything that required me to leave the house with both children alone because it was just too overwhelming for me.
Things got a lot easier around 6 months and DS1 was in school by then, so that helped a ton. Now that both kids are on 1 nap and older, this is our general schedule on weekends or holidays or school closures.
730am wakeup.
8-830am breakfast
830am-9am get ready for the day
9-11:30am ACTIVITY 1 OUTSIDE THE HOUSE
1130am lunch
1-1:30pm down for nap
3:30-4pm up from nap
4pm -5:30pm downtime before dinner
5:30pm dinner
630pm bath
7pm books, tv, play, etc.
730pm bedtime.DH and I both stick to this schedule religiously. We keep a tab on all the local museums, indoor play places, parks, library story times, MOPS groups, free festivals, art classes, farmer's markets, etc. so that on any given day we can go hit one of those things up. Its really all about filling that morning slot with SOMETHING that allows the kids to get a lot of gross motor activity and run around and get stimulated. If they have to sit still for something in the morning, we make sure to get them some run around time before nap and after dinner in the evening.
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I am currently contemplating a similar transition and have spent a lot of time thinking about schedules if I were to be a SAHM. I've found the sample schedules on this site to be really helpful if likely a bit ambitious for me & my 3 kiddos:
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I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old. Right now I split our day into two main chunks. Pre-toddler nap, and post-toddler nap. The baby takes two (sometimes 3) naps per day.
Basically my routine is this:
6am-7am: both kids wake up
7–9: breakfast/play
9-11: baby naps, toddler watches PBS, mom cooks, cleans, exercises, whatever. Toddler usually only watches 1-2 shows while I put down the baby, and otherwise is playing and helping me prep dinner, and eats lunch.
11-1: morning activity (90% of the time this is park time, we have 3-4 parks I rotate through depending on the time of day, traffic, weather, etc. I also usually bring a snack/lunch for the toddler to eat at the park).
1-3: hopefully naps for both kids (this happens like 20% of the time, most of the time the baby will nap and the toddler just screams to be let out of her room and then has meltdowns when things don’t go her way).
3-5: afternoon activity (this one is probably 50% park play, 20% walk, 30% stay home and cook/play with mom).
5-6: dinner, baby goes down for the night
6-7: toddler gets bath and bed
7-9: clean up, lunch prep, collapse from exhaustionWhen the baby was young and she was still open to napping in a stroller or carrier, my schedule was looser and our morning activity was more like 8-11, then we’d head home for nap, and the afternoon activity was more like 2-4. But my toddler spent a good six months making my life hell by never napping, and waking 5-20x a night. During those days the weather was fairly nice and we’d spend like 4+ hours at the park just because I was too much of a zombie to do much else. Right now I’m pretty strict about keeping my baby’s morning nap on schedule because she’s not a good “on the go” napper, and if she skips that nap the whole day is awful.
Every Tuesday we do story time at the library. And when I need to put the baby down I turn the TV on for the toddler. Not a great solution but the baby won’t nurse if the toddler’s around. And the TV is the only thing that keeps her occupied. I also am hesitant about doing meal prep during a rare double nap because I really need the time to rest and recharge. The toddler nap routine is super quick (I put her in a diaper, she gets one chocolate chip, she lays in bed and I give her a kiss and walk out). This is because I typically leave the baby playing on the floor while I’m putting the toddler down.
I also have a game plan for when DH works late (99% of the time he does toddler bath and bed). For me this means dinner is a quick meal (quesadillas, eggs, PB sandwiches, etc.) and we stay late at the park/library, only coming home to do bed and bath and eat a quick dinner.
I find I suffer badly from burn out if we are at home too much. I usually run errands in the morning activity, because my toddler is better behaved in the morning. I also try to involve the toddler in meal prep as much as possible. She helps me with chores as much as possible, and I don’t hesitate to use PBS kids when I’m starting to lose my patience. It’s more important for me to keep my sanity and be a patient and happy parent than for her to never watch TV. But that’s just my personal preference.
We also have a brand-new McDonald’s play place we go to on bad weather days, and a splash pad for super hot days. Friday’s around here is $5 admission to the children’s museum (which honestly isn’t that great). But if you have a good one, or a good zoo, definitely check out membership prices. Some trampoline places also have “drop in” play times during the week (I have a smallish toddler so she usually isn’t quite safe at those types of places, even if she’s old enough). And a trip to the pet store can be fun if the weather’s bad. Sometimes I’ll take her to Costco and let her try all the samples, just to let her run around in bad weather.
I’m an introvert with the worlds most outgoing toddler, so I have to plan a ton of cheap trips that don’t require me to be super social. Oh! And we live in a condo, so no yard. If we did I think I’d try and set up some kind of play gym area.
Also! I listen to audiobooks almost constantly. It really helps keep my sanity while walking my baby around in circles while my toddler plays at the park. I have a SSC and my phone in an armband on the strap and just let it play.
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When I was staying at home and no help from family, one thing we did was to hire a very part time nanny, about 4 hours a week. She was looking to fill a few hours since her other family cut them back when their kids started school and it was a perfect fit for us. I could go to any appointment that I had or even do the grocery shopping in that time.
I would also explore memberships and the free passes that might be available at the library for local attractions.
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What worked for my kids (and me!) was to get out in the mornings and be home in the afternoon. Most of the organised activities we attended (music class, Playgroup etc) started at 0930 so we were up between 0730-0800 then home again by lunchtime which allowed the kids to have a decent nap in the afternoons.
As for the “external” activities we did we went to Playgroup on Monday and Wednesday and music class on a Friday then just played it by ear on the other two days.
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Thanks everyone, this is so helpful!
@newlypregnantlady: The description of your toddler and sleeping made me LOL. Although it probably isn't funny to you
I am impressed with your quick nap routine. The biggest struggle for me right now is what to do with the baby if he's awake when I try to put my toddler down for a nap. Our routine is NOT quick and he will not allow the baby to be a part of it, so I've left the baby screaming in another room while I try to get the big kid to sleep and it stresses me out. @looch: We live close to family and they used to watch DS1 one day a week so I definitely plan on relying on them to watch the kids one day a week so I can run errands or schedule appointments or just sit in a coffee shop by myself. Good idea with a part time nanny.
I am impressed with your quick nap routine. The biggest struggle for me right now is what to do with the baby if he's awake when I try to put my toddler down for a nap. Our routine is NOT quick and he will not allow the baby to be a part of it, so I've left the baby screaming in another room while I try to get the big kid to sleep and it stresses me out. Reply
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