I have a hard time finding SAHMs who share my values! I'm very liberal but most SAHMs I know are conservative. You'd think this wouldn't be an issue but it does come up as we go on playdates and make different parenting decisions, and when we talk relationships (people are always telling me to submit..no lie!). Kinda sucks! I have a love/hate relationship with playdates and can't really open up to any IRL friends (most of my IRL liberal friends are either childfree or live elsewhere).
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I do tend to mesh well with most of the sahp I meet- but I live in a very liberal area of the country. If someone said to "submit" at a play date I think everyone would just stare in disbelief or confusion. It's not like every single sahm and I have loads in common but living in such a liberal area helps I guess?
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I have a hard time simply meeting other SAHPs. Everyone says the thing to do around here is join the big Mom groups, but they are all church-affiliated and center around bible studies. All but one are at the southern baptist churches (wretch, no thanks; I'm not stepping foot in those hateful doors). So I start up conversations at the playground and stuff, but I've never gotten up the nerve to ask for contact info or a future meeting.
An acquaintance of mine started an independent playgroup for this very reason. Even though 160 people joined the facebook group, most events have had little or no attendance. Sad. I don't know what to do.
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I did not, but I think that is because when I was staying at home, I was living abroad. I didn't fit in for a bunch of reasons, but mainly it was because I hadn't grown up in the area and people already had their friend groups and weren't interested in expanding them.
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I have two really great SAHM friends and others outlier SAHM friends that I see less. We mostly mesh with values, but I often feel like I am the only one who struggles with being bored being home with my kid all day. I usually work PT and it saves my sanity. I almost wish I had more non-mom friends because the "my life is about my kid" culture starts to drive me nuts. And yet I read parenting blogs so I guess I am part of my own problem!
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@Foodnerd81: yeah I have heard so many variations on "let him be the man" or "are you guarding his masculinity?". Vomit.
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@brownepiano: I just joined a women's volunteer group and it is a breath of fresh air. Most are moms but some are not and even the ones who are moms are more diverse: working, older kids, moms to teenagers, etc. A lot of them are there to network so it is a diverse mix.
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I live in a very religious area of a liberal state. So it can be mixed. I'm agnostic. Most of my SAH friends I've known for years and don't live in my town.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: I find this often a theme, unfortunately. you can come be friends with me lol
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: wow! I can't imagine that.
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Similar position here, I'm very liberal and most SAHMs I meet are conservative. I assumed a lot of the "crunchier" moms would be more liberal but that's not always the case, and although I have crunchy ways (cloth diaper, extended bfing) I'm not super crunchy enough to always fit that group either. I had found a nice group, but it recently imploded as groups of women tend to do.
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@Mrs. Pickles: you are in TN right? I'm in GA SL yeah, geography plays a central role...!
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@OldpuebloJenn: yes here crunchy typically = no vax, homeschooling, bread baking, and probably Christian. Ironically non crunchy is more likely to be liberal because modern luxuries make it easier to WOHM. Ive tried it all and so I can be friends with both groups but typically feel misunderstood.
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I WAH but am home full-time with the kids while DH works. So I am SAHM, too.
I am in a very liberal area and feel that I mesh very well with most of my SAHM friends. In fact, I don't think I can come up with one mom friend of mine who has VASTLY different political or religious views. But, that's why they're my friends! I think you're just naturally attracted to people who are similar to you.
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I do, whether or not I mesh with someone depends more on personality than beliefs.
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@Andrea: generally I agree. But I can't see my personality meshing with someone who tells me I should be submitting to my husband or guarding his masculinity. But yes, I've met lots of sahms but I'm only friends with the ones whose personalities mesh well- who I would be friends with anyway but we met because we stay home with kids the same age.
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