The actual quote is: She spends more awake time at daycare than she does with you.
Courtesy of my Mom.
Like every working mom doesn't know exactly how much time she spends away from her LO. Thanks, I don't need someone else to count it up for me.
The vulgarities I want to express regarding that insensitive comment aren't allowed on HB.
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Your Mom said that to you?! That is so awful! It's definitely a below-the-belt hit to any working mom :'(
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Sucks.
My mom and MIL say that stuff from time to time.
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I would be SO pissed if someone said that to me. Like I don't know that already and rips my heart open every day. People are jerks sometimes.
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Yeah, that wasn't cool at all.
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Ugh, yeah I'm not looking forward to these comments. My Mom has already started to make condescending remarks about the fact that I'm not breastfeeding since she successfully did for me and my sister and since she was a SAHM I am bracing myself for comments about how much I'm missing by going to work. It will take all of my strength not to point out the fact that she wasn't exactly the best Mom herself and made plenty of big mistakes as well as suffered from major depression from being home with us all day.
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I am so sorry she said that to you! That's awful!!
My mom was a SAHM and even though DH and I don't have kids yet, she talks about it a lot. She knows that I am not going to have that option, and she makes comments about it because she is "concerned." It's really not fair. I loved that my mom was a SAHM and wish that I would have that option but it's just not going to happen.
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ugh, what's the point of that statement? doesn't make sense. clearly we realize the time we spend at work + time with LO, doesn't need to be thrown in our faces esp in that manner.
HUGGS... a;lksdjf;alksdfjalksjdkjsjsjh(profanityforyou)
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I've been there, my MIL said this in passing. I understand that, it breaks my heart, but we have bills and I'm the breadwinner right now, so not working is not an option for our family.
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Oh man. I would've blurted out those vulgarities to my mom in shock to that! What was the purpose of her saying that? Ask your mom if she wants to pay you your salary so that your LO can spend more awake time with you? Ugh. I'm sorry she said that to you, I'd be pissed, too.
My mom was a single mom of 4, so she had to work. She wouldn't dare say anything like that to me.
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Ugh. I'm sorry.
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Man, that is hurtful. I'm so sorry. It's bad enough we have to think that ourselves but when someone lays it out like that, it hurts.
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Ouch
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Terrible. I've done this math for myself and it certainly doesn't feel good to hear a comment like that from your own mother.
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Wow. That's a bitchy ass low blow.
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You're contributing to your household to,help pay for all this stuff. There is nothing wrong with staying,home and nothing wrong with working. (Hugs)
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What gets me is, fathers never get comments like this.
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I'm sorry
I do the math all the time in my head, and the last thing I need is someone reminding me of it. Ugh. People suck sometimes.
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@mrsmate: Yeah, I've noticed this as well. DH never gets told he spends too much time away from LO. In fact, he has praised heaped on him for helping out. Me? Not so much.
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I'm sorry. As if you didn't know that already
When my mom says stuff like that to me, I say, well, if YOU were willing to watch my kids... and that silences her.
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@Bookish: even the term "helping out" drives me crazy. It's not helping when you're the parent!
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That's really hurtful, like PP said. I'm well aware of how much time I spend away from my son - it would rip me up even further to have someone specifically point it out. Hugs!
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That's awful! Hugs to you!
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I literally gasped when I read the title of this thread, and it's so much worse that it came from your mom. I would be so hurt if my mom (or anyone) said that to me. I say let the vulgarities fly!!
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Oy. Insensitive.
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@blackbird: +1
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That comment brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry that someone said that to you, especially because it was your mother. That's very insensitive! I would let the curse words fly at that point, because that is just uncalled for.
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Ugh.
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My immediate response to this post in my head was the f-bomb. I HATE this statement.
HEY PEOPLE! WE PARENTS FEEL BAD ENOUGH! YOU DON'T NEED TO RUB IT IN!!!!
Argh.
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Wow, that's a straight up mean girls thing to say. I think about the time away from LO all the time. I have to remind myself that working benefits our family as a whole. I work, I contribute, and am working towards a certification to get better job prospects which is better for our family.
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sniff. that makes me sad.
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My Mom is queen of the passive aggressive mean girls.
It sounds like I am not the only one who has heard some version of this shite.
And I second @mrsmate: this kind of comment is rarely leveled at Dads.
I was able to shake off any regret I have about the daycare situation pretty quickly because I know my work is necessary, but the sheer cruelty of the comment stoked my anger for days.
Thanks for joining in my anger
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My MIL said this to me when we first put DD in daycare because I had to go back to work and my response was, "I know. What's your point?" She went on to explain that I should be at home raising DD to which I responded with, "Tell your son to quit his job and stay home then. My job is important, too."
She STFU after that.
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@lizzywiz: I would be furious if anyone said that to me. Big hugs.
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So uncalled for.
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@Rubies: WHOOMP - There it is!
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Oh.my.gah. what the effing Eff. I'm so sorry. I've had SAHM's say things like 'i just can't believe how little you see him. I couldn't do that' (no offense to sahms!) but I felt like throttling her. As if I was unaware of how much more difficult my life is? I'm all too aware. I just try to remind.myself I'm doing what's best for our family. You're a great mama. Chin up, fists out
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I'm sorry. What a terrible thing to hear from your mother, who should be a source of support. You are doing what's right for your family and it really is none of her business.
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I have zero tolerance for bullshit comments like that. I swear if anyone in my life tried to guilt me or shame me for working in that way, they would get an earful. Statements like that serve no purpose but to hurt someone and I don't have room in my life for people like that.
I'd tell my mom that the next time she mentions my work in a negative light or hurtful way will be the LAST time we speak. About anything. Moms need to get a grip.
My mom and MIL say that stuff from time to time.
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40 comments