We're starting to think about TTC for #2. Our DD is 20 months old and was born at the end of Sept (2013). I'm having a hard time because I got bit by baby fever and every time I hear a pregnancy announcement, see a belly, hear about a newborn I feel like I want that. The practical side says were at least year out from seriously trying because we'd like to move and wouldn't list until feb/mar 2016. But boy do i feel it now...As a compromise, we might NTNP in the fall.
What are your thoughts on siblings sharing birth months? From a practical standpoint it worked out really well for my maternity leave, I could reuse a lot of maternity/baby clothes, and I would know what to expect seasonally. But would my kids feel like their missing out by having birthdays so close together.
Also we're looking at a 3 year age gap vs a 4 year age gap if we decide to wait... I didnt think I'd feel so strongly about having them closer until I saw how my nieces (3 and 1) interact and wish that for my own children.
Can anyone speak from experience?
grapefruit / 4321 posts
My brother and I have birthdays two days apart in July. The only thing I would say is if your kids have close birthday, don't make them share a party, celebrate each one separately. My mom always did that and we really appreciated it.
My LO was born in late Nov and I'm due the first week of Dec this year so their birthdays will be very close together, thought not necessarily in the same month.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
My brother and I have birthdays 3 days apart and we had one shared party growing up and it was fine. No issues for me growing up with birthdays so close!
squash / 13764 posts
My first LO has an Oct birthday and I reeally REALLY wanted a spring/summer baby for #2. I ended up getting pregnant with a June due date but miscarried, and now am expecting LO#2 in October again! It's not ideal to have them so close (LO2's due date is 3 days before LO1's birthday!) but as long as it's not the same day, I think it's fine.
eggplant / 11714 posts
My brother and I have two different month summer birthdays, and we still shared birthday parties some years and it was never an issue for either of us. We loved celebrating together.
My family is chock full of July and August birthdays, so my Los first birthday was shared with 4 other ppl in my immediate family, and Lo 2's birthday will be shared with 3 cousins (all within a week of each other).
I think it's cool.
persimmon / 1188 posts
I won't make a point to try at a certain time of year but I think if I could choose, I'd want their birthdays to be pretty spread out. My son was born in December so while it is fun to have so much excitement that time of year, I'd like to liven up another month for us.
grapefruit / 4418 posts
I don't think sharing a birth month is a big deal - you can make it special for each if you want to. I'd rather have a 3 year gap than 4. My sisters and I are 4 and 3 years apart - that year really made a difference in how close we were growing up !
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@Chillybear: my due date is about three weeks after dd's third birthday. Honestly, it took us long enough to conceive that I started to realize time of year is, at least IMO, a small thing. I'm not worried about it at all really!
pomegranate / 3350 posts
Mine are May and September babies so I don't have experience with sharing a birth month but I don't see the problem, especially if they are 3-4 years apart. If we have another we will try again for September. I really preferred being pregnant over summer to having a tiny baby!
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Mine are 5 days apart (with DH in between them!). I think it will work out just fine!
pomegranate / 3227 posts
I don't care at all about whether my children share a birth month. But I would prefer to avoid a fall birthday because (1) likelihood of being the oldest or youngest in the class and (2) third trimester in the summer.
My sister and I were both born in April and I don't remember it even crossing my mind as an issue.
ETA: My son was born in March, so my maternity leave was in the spring which was PERFECT because we could go outside quite easily.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
Not a big deal. My brother is a year and a week younger than me. Doesn't affect us at all now that we're adults, and as kids it was sometimes slightly annoying to share birthday parties, but we didn't do that every year and we always got our own cake and to pick dinner on the actual day. Not something I'd consider to be a big deal.
grapefruit / 4988 posts
I think it's fine. I'd actually prefer the spacing that a same month/season baby would give us (3 years, instead of 2.5 or 3.5). The only reason we're aiming for a different time of year is because LO was a fall baby and we live in a cold climate. Hoping to get outside more with #2.
pineapple / 12053 posts
before i got KU with this LO, we were planning on the same timing/season as LO1. it works for me best for my profession (wedding photographer). when we try for LO3 in a few years, we will go for the winter again.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
Two of my nephews were born the same month. It's also their mom's birth month. I've no idea if they planned it that way, but they just have a month full of celebrations and it's really sweet.
cantaloupe / 6869 posts
My bro and I are also two days apart for our birthdays and I've always loved it. We celebrate on the day in between. It feels special to share it with him.
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
My sister and I are 3 years apart and our birthdays are 3 weeks apart in August/September. I don't remember it being a huge issue. My mom had us share parties for a couple years (maybe 2/5 and 3/6), but then we had our own parties as we got older and it was never a big deal!
pomelo / 5132 posts
My mom and I are two days apart and my sister is three weeks later on my grandma's birthday, and I don't think it was ever an issue!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
My sister and I were 2 days apart: our age gap is big (7 yrs) so we could have never shared a party! I actually kinda like it and we all celebrate as a family.
apricot / 347 posts
No experience here but mine will be 19 mo apart. DD was born at the end of January and DS is due in September which has meant only 3 articles of old maternity clothing have been transferred into my current wardrobe. The seasons are just totally opposite.
I'm still excited about them being close together. Personally, I think the time is always NOW to have a baby. I mean, life does crazy things. We can plan all we like but really so much is out of our control. Why wait?!
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
My first 2 are 3 years 2 weeks apart and truthfully I really like it. Its hard as Im pregnant again with my last due this August and my baby (June 2013) will barely be 2 years old when this one is born. I guess because Im use to the 3 year gap 2 seems terrifying in so many ways. Im also sad as she lost a year to her brother basically in being the baby and will now just be the middle child. Had I been able to push this one back 6 more months I would have been thrilled.
cherry / 180 posts
@Truth Bombs: i am four years younger than my sister and our relationship has been weird mostly due to a divorce. my guy swears that he and his sister (older by two years) were not close because of being too close in age. everything can be reworked in adulthood but it gives me hope since our little one will be older by almost 5 years. i think already being in baby mode for kids close in age is somewhat helpful. but I read in an article the older child will remember the tougher baby almost as a new start rather than their competition. just thought that was neat.
apricot / 425 posts
My sister and I (4 yrs apart) always shared a family birthday party. It was never an issue and I don't remember ever being angry about sharing a cake. Not a big deal, in my opinion.
My kids are 4.5 yrs apart and I am loving the age gap. My daughter loves to help & I get to have my own time with each kid. My son is too young to have an opinion yet (6 weeks old)
I dont think closeness in age guarantees that kids will be BFFs. Personality plays a huge part in that.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@andthewildones: my family has almost every age gap- 1.5 years, 4 yrs, 3 yrs, 2 yrs (5 kids total). My older sister and I are 4 yrs apart, 5 in school, and we are the closest friendship. I really think it's a lot more about personality than age gap.
persimmon / 1316 posts
@Chillybear: Me and both my brothers (they are twins) were all born in the same month. We never minded, it was a non issue. They always had joint birthday parties and mine was always a different weekend. As we got older and are now adults we always do a joint family dinner to celebrate.
nectarine / 2784 posts
My sibling and I share a birth month and it was never an issue. Being in the same season for maternity and baby clothes you already have seems really appealing.
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
Mine were going to be 2y 2m apart but the LO came early and instead they're 2y minus 5 days! So far it's fun having bday week I'm hoping to do more exciting things on their week as they get older. We plan to do joint parties for a while, but each kid gets to pick a special activity on their actual bday.
nectarine / 2086 posts
My brother and I have birthdays 2 weeks apart and I never really thought anything of it. We usually had our own parties.
persimmon / 1179 posts
Never really thought about it. My LOs will have birthdays about 6 weeks apart, unless LO2 comes early. They will probably have joint birthdays until they are old enough to want them apart.
nectarine / 2821 posts
I wouldn't mind if they had the same birthday month (December), except, I like the idea of having a May baby. I know that's a little specific but I think the 9 m before would be a great time to be pregnant! I would like having my newborn when it's not too hot and not too cold. And I'd love to avoid being prego in summer! So I don't think we are ready this fall so maybe next year? I don't know. I always thought they'd be farther apart but now I don't know if I want to wait that long. Crazy!
pineapple / 12566 posts
I don't think it matters. My brother and I have birthdays just one month apart and it was never an issue. My two LOs were supposed to be just 10 days apart (in the same month), but ended up being a month apart and again, no issues. They are 3 years apart. You just never know what will happen when TTC, it could be quick or it could take longer than expected. I would just TTC when you and your SO are ready and not be concerned with birthdays.
cherry / 233 posts
My brother and I have birthdays 2 weeks apart and it wasn't an issue. We had some shared parties as kids and separate parties as we got older.