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@septemberlove: She sounds VERY insensitive. Try not to think about it. Your doing everything right and your not the type to be so self centred and insensitive.

@septemberlove: just try to remember most people are just living their own lives and aren't trying to hurt you even though it does.

@septemberlove: I am flabbergasted anyone would would say that to you. She sounds unhinged. Has the world gone mad..?!

@septemberlove: I would comment on her post and say exactly that..."at least you're snuggling her baby and not listening to a pump!" and just make her feel like an ass.

But, that's just me.

I sincerely doubt the comment was meant to hurt you, I'd be willing to bet she wasn't even thinking about your situation when she posted that, but if you want to help her keep things in perspective, you could write something like "what I wouldn't give to be up four times during the night with my LO if it meant we could be at home instead of the NICU". Nothing snarky as I don't think she was trying to be mean,but sometimes putting things in perspective can go a long way.

I'm sorry, I can't imagine what you're going through, but I just wanted to put it out there that this comment was probably just an offhand remark, coming from a place of sleep deprivation, and not meant to cause you pain, even though it inadvertently did just that. Hang in there, things will get better!

I'm sure it still hurts. After our mc I hated everyone who would complain about being pregnant or their lo but I never said anything because I knew how irrational I was being. Try to remember that other people have been through things and you wouldn't be aware that your comment has hurt them. That's what I always did. Now I make a real effort to be conscience of others. But at the same time, I have the right to feel how I feel during any given time in my life and if I want to complain I can. I know it's hard, try to just focus on you and your family.

Given her other comments I wonder if she is where I was in the early, baby crying 5+ hours/day, minimal sleep, ppd days.. I actually sort of envied those with SHORT nicu stays... by which I mean people who got some rest in between pregnancy and labor and the very long newborn days. (This is partially from what I heard 2nd time nicu parents say so please don't hate me!) Plus, help learning how to do things from the nicu nurses, and "practice" before doing it 24/7 on your own. From a place of sanity I can now look back and think "but I would never want DD to be in the hospital!!"... But back then I was absolutely exhausted (and I was pumping because bf'ing wasn't working out, so I got the joys of the pump too.)

I guess all I'm saying is she is probably coming from a very different place than you right now, but that doesn't necessarily make her complaint invalid... she's probably just ignorant and maybe so sleep deprived she's forgotten that she has a healthy LO at home and she's totally not thinking about all the worry and stress you're going through. One day she may snap out of it and really regret saying anything like that to you or posting anything like that you could see...

I hope you have your LO at home soon..hang in there!

@septemberlove: she asked you 3 times how it feels?! Wtf is wrong with her? Since she's so persistent, I would just go ahead and tell her exactly how you feel!

@septemberlove: just try to hang in there!