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SIL says no visits without vaccine

  1. Petitduck

    kiwi / 624 posts

    @skiierchck99: it’s hit-or/miss recommended in Canada it seems, but does seem to becoming more popular. It was recommended for 2 out of my 3 pregnancies which have all occurred in the last 5 years.

    I have known about it from this website the whole time. I just made sure my husband and I were up-to-date and that we got the flu shot, but I didn’t ask anyone else to get it. I have only heard about people requesting it on here as well. All my friends have at least two babies and I guess it’s just not a thing here that most people worry about? If it meant not seeing someone and their kid for a long time and I cared about them then I’d just get it if I didn’t have it.

  2. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    My OB and ped both explicitly said that no one should hold the baby who doesn't have the flu and tdap shots. My guess is that it is a recommendation of the AAP, AMA, etc to give this advice in the U.S., and hence why so many people make this request of family and/or friends. I think it is perfectly reasonable.

  3. Tionn3

    kiwi / 680 posts

    This is not an unreasonable request. It's their baby, and it is their responsibility to keep their baby healthy and safe. They have set a boundary that no one should visit their baby if they are unvaccinated. That boundary NEEDS to be respected. Nobody has the right to visit a newborn baby outside of its parents. The flu, Whopping cough, measles, and rubella are no joke. They rely on herd immunity until they reach the age at which they can get a certain vaccination.

  4. Becky

    persimmon / 1390 posts

    Just out of curiosity, how long do you typically put this into effect for (until the baby is how many months old)?

  5. MoonMoon

    pomegranate / 3392 posts

    I think it's a reasonable request, and I wish more people would make it.

  6. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @Becky: Babies get their first dose at 2 months, so at least that long. We took the babe out and about after that, but not into particularly crowded places (if possible) until the flu vaccine at 6 months.

  7. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    I’ll just chime in here to add that fever in a baby <60 days old is a huge deal because it means they need a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) to evaluate for meningitis. We had strict vax rules for those coming to see DD in the NICU and those first few weeks home partially because of this. Even a common cold isn’t common in a neonate. And pertussis is a horrible illness to watch a baby suffer with. Vaccinate or wait. Those were the options we gave and will give again.

  8. Becky

    persimmon / 1390 posts

    @Jess1483: oof—with older siblings and daycare how does that work?

  9. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @Becky: it’s definitely not an exact science. I SAH or kids are with my mom when I work (part time) and the doctor said my boys were immunized, so that was the best we could do. Obviously, it’s not possible for everyone to do, because life. The scary thing about this outbreak was that they said people who had previously been vaccinated were getting it but thought it was just a cold—no tell-tale whoop or anything. So anyone with any sort of cough should not be allowed to see the baby. But they weren’t seeing a ton in younger vaccinated kiddos because it hadn’t worn off. The doc also said if anyone in the family got sick, we’d start her on meds right away. Obviously you can’t protect against everything, but we did all we could and luckily she didn’t get sick. I wouldn’t have been quite so careful if there hadn’t been an outbreak, but for something easy and quick like a vaccine, that extra layer of protection was really important. Luckily, once school let out for summer, the outbreak ended.

  10. cat620

    pear / 1809 posts

    Update: the baby is born, and my in-laws are visiting now. Baby is full-term and healthy, but now my sister-in-law is making everyone (including grandparents) wear medical gloves to hold the baby. That’s something I’ve never seen before

  11. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @cat620: well, that does seem excessive. But also easy to indulge

  12. gotkimchi

    nectarine / 2400 posts

    @cat620: I think our hospital had us do that until the baby had a bath, more for the adults protection

  13. oldschooolmama

    cherry / 114 posts

    @cat620- are they smokers?

  14. cat620

    pear / 1809 posts

    @gotkimchi: The baby is over 2 days old, so I think she would have had a bath by now? But maybe I'm wrong.

    @oldschooolmama: No, they don't smoke, have no pets, and are in good health.

  15. PawPrints

    pomegranate / 3658 posts

    The gloves thing is unusual but doesn't seem like a big deal for everyone to comply with. Maybe she is experiencing anxiety. I had PPA so that's always something I watch out for.

  16. Mama Bird

    pomegranate / 3127 posts

    Well, she probably has an extra helping of anxiety, between being a first time mom, it being the height of the flu season (the vaccine, incidentally, is not 100% effective), and the news (the constant drumbeat about coronavirus is making some people anxious even if they're not really at risk for exposure). So while the gloves thing is over the top, she needs compassion, not judgment. I hope she feels less anxious with time. I remember getting incredibly antsy for the entire first month if visitors got too close to my babies - it was the most uncomfortable feeling! I can't remember when it got better, and in any case that's going to be different for everyone.

    I also have a friend who told me a few years ago that if anyone in his house comes down with a cold, they walk around in a surgical mask. I was pretty surprised and thought it was over the top. But now that I also have little kids that bring home some pretty powerful gems... I understand his desperation

  17. Alba4

    nectarine / 2951 posts

    This was the norm with my family and friends. We’re pro Vaxination though.

  18. Ms. RV

    pear / 1930 posts

    We were super lax about who got to handle our third baby and whether or not they had to wash their hands. Then his one month well visit turned into a lights-and-siren ride to the ER for respiratory distress. I really regret letting him visit for Thanksgiving three days earlier. What was the sniffles for someone else was a two night hospital stay for DS2.

    Masks would be better than gloves, but I get it. You really can't be too careful during cold and flu season.


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