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Sorry to hear this. I'm a bit "older" so most of my friends already have 2 kids, so I was on the other side of this for a long time. My best friend had her first 7 years ago and our relationship did have to take some time to adjust! Just don't expect it to be the same, but just like with marriage if you're committed to staying close with her under new circumstances, you will. Also - don't expect she'll just "get" what it's like to be a mom (ie that you don't want to be away from LO), because she won't get it. Maybe if you say "tonight won't work after all, can we reschedule for tomorrow?" then she won't feel blown off by the baby and will know you still prioritize her friendship.

I anticipate this being difficult as well. I agree with pps that you can't expect someone to understand if they don't have children. Honestly my husband and I are homebodies anyway so I'm sure it'll be even tougher to get motivated to hang out with friends after the baby comes. I do think it is important to keep plans you've made though. I think that would piss off a friend regardless of whether they have kids or not. You have to make an effort just as much as they do.

Ever since having my LO, i find myself making more of an effort to see my single friends and making sure i don't cancel plans because of my LO (for inconsequential reasons). While they understand why i can't see them as often, i know they don't completely know what it's like.

I know you were hurt by your friend's response, but she probably misses your company and may feel that one night away from your LO isn't asking for too much. I think JoJoGirl's advice is pretty good.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear this. I live in the South and I think people here are generally just more into babies. I tend to always bring my baby and my single friends dote on him. Most of them have more pics of him on their Facebook walls than I do!

Maybe you could invite her to do something with your baby and give them an opportunity to bond?

I wrote a blog post about this on another well known wedding/home/baby site a little while back. I wont link to it because, well, that's just rude isn't it (!!) but I'll summarise here:

When my BFF told me she was pregnant, I was gutted. I cried for days!! I was scared that she'd change... that she'd no longer want to spend time with me and that, even if we did see each other, all she'd want to do is talk about her LO. I'm not embarrassed to say it - I was jealous of her baby for taking her away from me. We talked about it, we both cried - turns out she was just as scared as me about the changes that were happening to her and equally as scared of losing her non-mommy friends. Because we were honest with each other, we have been able to move forward and navigate the changes together.

Perhaps that's how your friend feels? Pushed out? I agree that she needs to understand your attachment to your baby but I also think if you want to save the relationship you'll need to meet her half way (or hope she gets pregnant! Lol!)

@JennyD: Honestly, it sounds like she is being a little unreasonable. Actually, quite a lot unreasonable.

I don't know her and I don't know you - I can only speak from my experience and I was that child hater!! I was jealous of them for stealing my friends' attention and I was jealous of my friends that had kids because, deep down it was what I wanted. I didn't want to be single, I was scared that I'd never meet someone and settle down. It was easier to tell myself I hated kids and I loved my single life - and that my friends were "lame" - than to face up to the prospect that i'd never have any kids of my own. I bet I was a right b1tch. I was 28 when I met DH and 30 when we tied the knot - and the change was immediate. I can be much happier for and understanding of my mommy friends now.

I really do hope you've read too much into her behaviour (hugs for your rough day xx) and you guys can sort this out. More hugs.

This is a tough situation, though I agree that she's being a little harsh. It sounds like, as several others have noted, she just doesn't get it and it seems like you guys need to clear the air. I think it will be a pretty awkward situation, but you will need to be honest about LO being your main priority now. But, I would also say that if she is a really good friend, ask her how you can be a better friend, parenting responsibilities notwithstanding. Like, could you have a standing once-a-month "date" that you stick to no matter what?

I am lucky that my friends are very understanding despite not having kids, but I also go out of my way to preserve my friendships and I try to do things with them that don't involve LO, even though they love her dearly. It's just important for me to have that time with friends when I'm more like my old self. I love it, in fact. That said, she needs to meet you half-way, too!

I also agree with Jojo's advice. I have been on the other side of being the friend who was basically dropped/ignored after different friends have had babies for a few years now. Though I always do try to consider the mom and baby's needs, it's often hard and harsh when a friend constantly blows you off for "the baby". I have another friend who has 2 kids and every time we get together, I feel like she's only asked me to come along so I can help her with another set of hands. Though I don't mind, and this might be a good option if you want to spend time with your friend AND baby, it becomes a bit redundant and feel used when it's time after time. I have other friends, who, though busy, do seem to strive for a mom/adult balance. Even if it's not face-to-face time, it's always nice to chat for a little while or email back and forth.
The ones that seem "too attached" seem to have a)fallen off the face of the planet, or 2)constantly just talk about baby.
I'm sure my perspective will change after I have my baby too, but I hope I can be like the mommy friends I admire, the ones that still try to make time for their friends, if even in the smallest ways.

I've grown distant from extended family members in addition to friends. I think it's tough maintaining relationships when you're in different stages of life. It's definitely doable, but takes a lot of work.
:T