Hellobee Boards

As I got older I definitely started to appreciate the benefits of being an only! So much so that DH and I are 100% sure that we want our child to be an only child as well.

Yep! No way to really know what I'm missing on the other side, but being an only has been mostly awesome.

DH is an only child and for the most part while he was young he loved it; now that he's older and we're building a family; he wants to have 3 kids!

@HabesBabe: Same. I was also an only grandchild on my dad's side and only one of two grandchildren on my mom's side (and my only first cousin was 11 years older than me). So, I felt like an only in every sense of the word lol.

Nope. I craved a sibling when I was growing up. I'm lucky that my mom was a SAHM and I had plenty of attention from my parents, but I've always envied people with siblings. A few times in my life I have even been drawn to people who had an abundance of siblings -- one of my good friends in college had 8 brothers and sisters! I found it fascinating and they were all very close.

Now that I'm older and my father is older, I'm scared of the prospect of what will happen if he becomes very ill and requires care. I wish I had a sibling to help me carry that burden, both emotionally and physically. I understand having a sibling doesn't automatically guarantee companionship or assistance (my father and his brother were estranged for decades until very recently), but like I said on another thread, I regret that I won't ever know if this is the case.

I would like 2 children. DH is an only child, and while he's fine with 2, he's also fine with 1. He loved -- and loves -- being an only, and doesn't wish he had a sibling in the least.

I am one of three, but DH is an only and is adamant that he wants more than one - he seems to have similar feelings as @ladyfingers: he was always jealous of friends with siblings and a little lonely growing up. He loves having my brothers to call his "brothers" now and really wants our kids to have a sibling! We are still torn about 2 vs. 3 though - we will probably make that call once (if?) we are lucky enough to have 2 and see how things stand then.

@spaniellove: Oh no, I'm the same as you! The friction makes me happy that I'm an only. There are rare occasions though when I appreciate it - like when they help us move, or picked me up when I got into a car accident, or gave us all their old baby stuff.

@travelingbrit: @ladyfingers: I've sort of been on both sides of the aging parents issue. Fortunately my dad is still pretty capable of caring for himself, though he's expressed disappointment that I live too far away to care for him. Now that I'm TTC, he's stopped and seems to understand that I'll have a child to care for. But I don't think any of my cousins (who have siblings) are any more likely to take care of their parents than I am, and they live closer. I've also experienced my mom passing away, so I know what it's like to skip any sibling drama afterward and although it was a little lonely that's when I was most grateful that it was just me.

@spaniellove: I understand that having a sibling doesn't guarantee support in the event of aging parents. I acknowledged this, also, in my answer. But personally, for me, I found it incredibly lonely after my mother died, not having a sibling there. Being there for my father and shouldering that burden alone... was awful. Funny enough, that's when I was most regretful that it was just me.

I grew up as an only, and I liked it very much (and still do). I never wanted a sibling, and if I did I wanted an older sibling, which I knew was not going to happen. I never asked for a younger brother or sister. I wonder what that says about my personality? Occasionally, I wish I had someone to complain to about my mother, but that's where my close friends come in. I have very good relationships with my cousins and other family, and I think they have been my stand-in siblings.

It's been interesting watching DH and his brother who are not very close at all. My MIL is in some weird denial that they are close. Just because they don't argue does not mean they are close. He is actually advocating that we consider having one. I'm pg with #1, so we'll see. I think it would be nice for this child to have a sibling, but I want us to wait and see what happens.

@HabesBabe: I can understand what you mean about being Asian factoring into caring for one's parents. Sometimes I feel like I need to go the extra mile to prove I'm as good as a son would have been, or so that my dad doesn't regret not having more kids. (My parents also divorced decades ago so my mom was never in the picture.)

@spaniellove: the Asian thing is actually helping us right now because my mom is watching our baby (for free!) every weekday while we're working. Most of my Asian friends had this, too, but none of my white/non-Asian friends got free family childcare.

@spaniellove: oh wow. she sounds charming. LOL. i do think that asian step-parents are a lot meaner than non-asian steps. haha!

I really, really longed for a sibling when I was little. I was jealous of all my friends who had brothers and sisters, and I was always drawn to people with big families (or books/movies about big families). I was lonely a lot of the time. My mom was also incredibly over-protective and I think it would have been nicer if less of the focus was on me.

But, at the same time, we got to go on cool vacations that probably wouldn't have been possible if I'd had siblings. And I'm very close to my parents now. I do have similar worries as some PPs regarding what it will be like when my parents get older. And, though my husband isn't close with his brother right now, I am jealous that they (and anyone who has a sibling) have a bond that I'll never understand. So, I definitely want to have at least two children.

Hated it. My parents never could have any more after me. I have a step brother and sister now, and my sister and I are very close. I wish I had blood siblings, though.

Yep. As a kid I always wanted a sibling but as I got older, I realized what a great situation I had!