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I would be totally fine with it. I just asked DH and said "well ya, I would have to be fine with it as long as he still mountain bikes."

@Glitter: I don't view being gay as a choice... just like I wouldn't view someone's race or height as a choice.

I absolutely would not care if my children were gay.

It hurts my heart to see that people still think it's a choice. Support it or not, how can you say it's a choice when you haven't lived it? Why would SO many people "choose a lifestyle" that can be so painful and so hard? I've firsthand witnessed family members struggling through YEARS of misery trying to "be straight"...it is not a choice, it is something you are born with.

@Glitter: I agree.

Loving my child is unconditional, but that doesn't mean I will/can support them choosing to live out their life in a way against God's call for them (as shown in His Word).

Being something & choosing to live in a way against God are two very different things. I couldn't support my child being in a homosexual relationship anymore more/less than my child living in a heterosexual sexual relationship out of wedlock.

I do agree that I don't think "being" homosexual is a choice, but do however believe it is an identity in Christ issue & embracing a sin that Christ was sacrificed for... no different than embracing any other sin that He was sacrificed for though.

If it was something that I was faced with I would hope that I could wholly show Christ's love & navigate with His wisdom & discernment to ensure my child not feel any less loved or accepted regardless of my agreement/disagreement.

@runsyellowlites: I don't understand how not supporting someone for the way they were born is consistent with unconditional love? I'd love to understand your perspective, as this is something that has always confused me…

@sorrycharlie: @lilteacherbee: I agree my brother is gay. We have picture of him when he was 4 with curlers in his hair and dolls. Not to stereotype but it was kind of a sign. I do not believe he made that 'choice' at 4 years old. In fact he spent a lot of dark yrars in high school trying to be someone he was not. At 33 years old he is finally able to live somewhat comfortably.

I have noticed that the way this conversation often goes down on these boards follows a frustratingly typical paradigm. Someone asks this question (it's come up before), a lot of people respond with fairly predictable answers for the population of fairly affluent, college-educated moms that comment here, and then someone says "I disagree." That commenter then mostly gets dumped on, with arguments that tend to involve either a non sequitur, or betray some severe prejudices.

I wasn't going to comment on this thread, but I don't think that a "debate" that plays out along these lines is productive. None of the comments that have challenged @Glitter or @runsyellowlites have demonstrated any real attempt to understand their viewpoint. Glitter has, in my estimation, done a superb job of explaining, as pithily as possible, the basic Christian worldview. It doesn't get much simpler than "True happiness is found in obedience to God." There is a very rich and beautiful body of thought available to anyone who is genuinely interested in exploring this idea.

Now, since the topic du jour seems to be whether being gay is a trait or a choice, I think runsyellowlites was also pretty clear on this point. Being gay doesn't seem to be a choice any more than having brown eyes or blonde hair is, but how you live your life--whether you're gay, brown-eyed, blonde, or some or all of those things--certainly is. That distinction between traits and decisions is blithely overlooked by several of the comments above. I also note that the comment that triggered the "choice" discussion did not say that being gay was a choice, it said that she could not support the "lifestyle choice."

I point all this out because I think it's fine to have a debate about these things, but it should actually be a debate.

I think it's interesting to note that the way that this type of discussion starts on this board is usually not with one of the people who say they would be unhappy if their child was gay raising the topic. The intense focus on traits and labels that these types of questions involve is not consistent with the Christian world-view, which embraces the whole person.

@deerylou: Choosing to act kindly & sacrifice for my children despite how I feel about their actions is the same thing, even if the circumstance it incredibly different. Yes I'm talking about their specific actions (being in a homosexual relationship), not how they identify with themselves in any manner. FWIW G's dad was alot of things he chose to be, but being an alcoholic/addict wasn't one of them (I'm sure most agree addiction isn't a choice, and no I'm not implying I think being homosexual is a sickness... to clarify, just showing that not all aspects of G's dad were a "choice").. did she like that about him, no... did she act kindly & support me through choosing him despite that, yes.

Tbh this subject is something I vary rarely comment on though as I don't expect to change anyone's opinion or for them to agree with mine, nor do I think arguing the difference in conviction to be productive. The OP asked what I, as a parent, would think in the given circumstance & so I shared that.. I also shared that despite my disagreement I would hope that I could act in a way that wouldn't push my child to feel isolated or unloved. I also don't think there is anything wrong with honestly sharing my perspective given that's what was asked for or that it needs to be disputed simply b/c it's not the same as others.

@honeybear: thank you.

@honeybear: I think you make some good points and do so eloquently, but I am curious about whether you (or anyone) believes that, if someone is gay, they should completely ignore that and live a heterosexual life in order to comply with the Word? Wouldn't that be akin to being born with brown eyes and being told only blue eyes are acceptable, so you'd better wear colored contacts? It seems like asking a person to deny who they are could be very detrimental to their happiness and health.

@honeybear: No one is required to fully explain the thought process that lead them to their personal conclusion/viewpoint (and thus their answer). It's not a math class in which you only get credit for your answer when you show all your *work.* If you have questions about how someone arrived at their conclusion, ask. Otherwise, don't lament the fact that this thread lacks the debate quality that you wish it embodied. You may also find that posters are more inclined to respond with more detail when you don't universally bash them in your post and group them all together as "predictable . . . fairly affluent, college-educated moms" . . . .

ETA: I write this as a proud member of the affluent-college-educated-and-then-some-who-don't-give-a-shit-how-much-money-you-make-or-how-educated-you-are-because-your-opinion-is-equally-valuable-regardless-of-money-or-education-moms . . .

Absolutely, without a doubt would not care. She is entitled to love whoever she wants. My husband and I have talked about this a lot. Complete non issue.

I missed something, clearly...

Anywho, I was just coming in to write that my interpretation of the difference between the choice and lifestyle choice is that while you can not choose your sexuality (the choice), your action (or non action, depending upon how you look at it) is the lifestyle choice. Basically, if you are gay, you are supposed to ignore it and be celibate. Someone please correct me if I have misunderstood.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I never said I would stop parenting my child. I also would never do any of the things you listed above. I believe that while God loves us and has the best plan for us he also equips us with our own free will. The one and only reason I take issue with homosexuality is because it is not Biblical. As long as I have done my duty and made sure my child knows that it is certainly his decision to make. While I would not support it I would love him as completely as I always have. I would attend his wedding as long as it was not in a church. I would love my grandchild with all of my heart. I would never under any circumstance disown him. I don't even know what kind of "treatment" there is but I would not look into that. I should hope he always comes over for holidays and would always feel welcome attending church services. I would indeed take issue with him being harassed or injured for being gay. I don't even know what you mean when you say "would you bury your child" but if you mean would I have a funeral service for him, of course I would.

Literally nothing my son does would change the love I have in my heart for him. Nothing. I don't find that and my stance on homosexuality to be mutually exclusive.

Its also not something I"m up to debate. So, I hope that answers your question!

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: glad I could elaborate for you !!! My son is my whole world ! Nothing could change that !!!

@looch: Yeah I agree, I'm pretty sure that is what was meant here. The "lifestyle choice" being the actual act of homosexual sex. I believe what is being suggested is that all these potentially gay kids just live a celibate life.

@Arden: @looch: That's what I would assume. That's how my mom looks at it- Being gay isn't a choice, but as she puts it, "they shouldn't be proud of it" and "they should fight it."

I honestly don't understand that.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Oh wow. Yea that's them & they are horrible horrible people who protest funerals of fallen service men/women & shun/disown anyone that questions their practices including their children (despite being clearly against the bible).

That's horrible about your friend too!

100% accepted and supported no matter who he loves. Of all my parenting worries, this is not one of them.

I don't want to single any of the faith-related comments out...but I can say from personal experience being gay is not a choice and gay people don't "choose" that lifestyle. My little brother is gay - believe me, life for him would have been much easier if he was straight. He certainly didn't choose to be gay. He was not proud of it for a long time and he fought it for a long time. I'm relieved and happy that he is finally out and proud after the years of inner and outward torment that he suffered.

@mrs. bird: I think the theory is that people are not born gay and it's a choice....

@runsyellowlites: I wanted to ask you about this " embracing a sin".

Aren't we all sinners? Don't we all repeat the sins that we are predisposed to on a daily basis? Don't you make the same imperfect choices to yell or tell a white lie or think impure thoughts on a daily basis?

Let me be clear... I DO NOT think homosexuality is a sin. I would be thrilled if one of my girls married a woman, just as I would be thrilled if she chose to marry a man... We kind of secretly hoped that one of our girls would be gay, in fact.

However, in your view, even if it is a sin, wouldn't that child be perfectly forgiven by your God because of his sacrifice? Just as you are forgiven for your daily sins? Then why make them suffer needlessly from parental judgment and the threat of God's judgment when you could be accepting and loving the way God would.

Sadly, I think this interpretation that homosexuality is sin comes from very misguided interpretations of Leviticus and Romans. When you have the Catholic Church coming around, you've got to wonder! (Yes, I know, the Church is not fully accepting of open practicing gays and lesbians, but the Pope is now saying bring them into the tent and sort the rest out later...)

The Jesus I've read about was quite the radical and the Beatitudes would argue that at least we as humans should love and embrace the most vulnerable and needy among us.