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@FaithFertility: did he have issues with anxiety before having kids?

@FaithFertility: that reminds me a lot of my own PPD. I had intrusive thoughts - without trying to, I would actually see myself (in my head!) putting the cart back at the store and forgetting DD in it. my heart would race and I'd get sweaty and upset, even though it hadn't happened. I laid awake every single night convinced I could smell smoke, circling the house trying to figure out where it could be coming from, checking outlets and the stove. I made sure we had fire escape plans but still lost sleep over wondering how to get out with two kids and tiny windows, visualizing it in detail. it was awful.

I started lexapro and it was life changing. I still occasionally have intrusive thoughts but I'm able to talk down from them, where before I couldn't.

That sounds like major anxiety. I have terrible anxiety (as do my Mom and sister, it's all in our family) and I could see myself thinking things like that. I eventually got on Zoloft - it's indicated for depression but also treats anxiety and I was BF at the time so the doctor told me that one was one of the only safe ones. It has been life-altering! I wish I would have done it a long time ago. Not to mention that Zoloft is generic and it's like $6 for a 90 day supply. It's sooooo cheap and soooo effective!

@FaithFertility: Ugh, it's next to impossible to get a man to see a doctor! But keep trying to convince him if it's getting to a point where he's worried all the time.

I'm the anxious one in my family and I'm trying hard to keep it in check. If I get too ridiculous, DH reminds me of that time I wanted to rush DS to a doctor because he was screaming a lot - we already knew he had tummy trouble but (yikes!) he also had red feet!

Definitely sounds like PPA. At our prenatal classes the instructor spent ages talking about post-partum issues in males, and how there is a silent epidemic of them happening because for the most part (total stereotype, but based in fact I think?) men are reluctant to seek help for something they think should only affect women. The instructor herself suffered no PPD or PPA with her 3 children, but her husband suffered escalating depression and anxiety each time. Its become her personal mission to spread the word.
Good luck and keep at him until he talks to you about it honestly!