edited the title to get more general responses.
Basically, if you had a choice to start preschool for your LO at 2, would you?
If you did do so, what are the main benefits you've seen?
I'm looking to enroll LO when he turns 2 later this year, mornings, primarily for socialization and more stimulation. I hope that he does get both of those things!
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M is in a 2's program ( she turned 3 in Dec). Starting in a 2's class is pretty much the norm around us. It's been great for her - it's only 2 days/3 hr each but she's gotten a lot out of it and her teachers are great.
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My LO has been in full time care since she was 3 months old and still get shy when strangers address her. I do always thing preschool is good for socialization and practicing following directions
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My lo does this sometimes and she goes to preschool. It comes and goes. I do think preschool is good for socialization and that's the reason my lo goes. But I don't think if it's just for that reason that you need to stress right now!
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I'm kind of doubtful that preschool with other 2 year-olds will help a child be less anxious around adults. I think being shy around non-parent adults before age 2 is normal!
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My son is introverted and while he's totally independent at home around us, he's a clingy crying mess around strangers.
When we went on transitional playdates for daycare at 15 months where mom and dad were present, he basically sat on our laps and cried the entire time. So we were really terrified when he officially started at 16 months full-time. Apparently he cried for like 10 minutes at drop off and then he was fine. He just sat next to the caretaker and didn't play with the other kids for most of the first week, and then once he realized he saw the same people every day, he loosened up. I do think it helped, however, that he's at an in-home daycare with the same 2-3 adult caretakers and the same 6 toddlers every day.
We had some new sitters come by the house and it was the same thing - he had a fit when we were around, but if we just left him with the sitter he would settle down quickly.
Anyways, we plan on sending him to a 2's program this fall and I feel a lot better about it knowing what we know through daycare. He will have 10-11 kids in his class with 1 teacher and 1 aide and it will be at a small church preschool that looks a lot like the church nursery he goes to on Sundays so I think he will get comfortable pretty quickly.
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@honeybear: I guess I should have mentioned that he's also very wary of kids he doesn't know either....
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@gingerbebe: sounds like my kid. do you feel the transitional time helped? I have the opportunity to do that if I want, but I am worried that when I finally do leave him there alone, he will be royally pissed and. have an even bigger fit. and then tantrum at home for being mad at me. I don't know ..I'm thinking rip off the bandaid?
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@BabyTsMom: I think transitional time would have been helpful if I could leave him there for an hour or 2. They wouldn't let me actually leave DS there, so we had to be present, which I think made it worse. I think if I had the opportunity to just drop him off for short periods before he started full days it might have helped him get to know his friends and teachers better, but since me or DH were there for him to cling and paw it, he just had major anxiety about it all. So if you have to actually be there and can't leave him alone, I would say just take him once or twice to visit so its not totally unfamiliar and then rip the band aid off come the first day.
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@BabyTsMom: Also, our son did this thing where he was totally fine at daycare all day, but then as soon as he saw DH or I at pick up he would burst into tears and flip out. The daycare teacher would be like "HE WAS FINE THE WHOLE DAY, I PROMISE!!! HE WAS SO HAPPY!!"
Now he's apparently like a model citizen all day - eats a ton, naps well, super happy - but throws tantrums and fits at home and wont eat that much for us! I'm told by my friends that its totally common.
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My LO started full-time preschool at 2 and it's been so great. It took about a month for him to adjust and then he started walking around like he owns the place.
In addition to the time at school which he loves, it's also been nice for us to meet other parents, see familiar faces on the weekends at the playground/museum/grocery, and go to birthday parties.
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@BabyTsMom: Ahh, is he wary or is he more of a watcher? LO seemed kind of standoffish and maybe a little shy when he was that age, but it turned out he just liked to take his time assessing the situation before he jumped into the scrum.
He's super outgoing now. I don't think you have anything to worry about on that score. As to the new question: I did start LO at 2, and it was okay, but I wouldn't do it again. We eventually quit. It was an excellent school and I liked his teachers and the other students and parents. The chief benefit to him that I saw was that the school was Montessori and I thought that approach was generally good for LO. The chief downside was that we got sick a lot, sometimes really horribly sick. We catch a cold once a season (or maybe twice) now, but nothing like the preschool days! I think small children benefit greatly from being with their parents (particularly the type of parents who concern themselves with questions like "what would benefit my child the most?"), so if one of the options for structuring their days would allow a child to be with them more, then that's the way I would go.
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I was a SAHM just about due with #2 when he started a 2s program 2 days a week 8-3 (he was then 2.4). He loved it. He's always been in some program even when I was SAH and I think it's really helped with independence and socialization. I work now, but R will be starting a toddler (seedlings) program at the Montessori school at age 20 months, even though we have a nanny part time. I think if you have the option to try it out, go for it.
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@honeybear: it's almost likes he's scared.
Did you quit primarily because of the illness factor? I'm definitely worried about that big time. however, I figure that if it's a total disaster (illness-wise or emotionally), I can always pull him out of school and try again when he's older. -
LO was in part-time daycare from 9 to 20 months. When we had the opportunity for me to stay home, we took it and chose to not keep her in any kind of program. She will start preschool (2 half days per week) when she is 2 years 10 months.
I think everyone knows what's best for their own child and their own family but for us I felt like she could get socialization and stimulation without having to be separate from a parent for extended periods. It didn't seem necessary and I wanted to be the one nurturing and teaching her every day after having missed a lot of chances to do that when I was working. SAH has been great for us and I think we made the right choice. She is just now getting to where I think she could do well in part-time preschool, but August will be here before we know it, and she has her whole life to go to school so we are enjoying this time together.
ETA: After reading the responses, I think you edited not just your title but also the post? Or maybe I missed something. Anyway, regarding separation anxiety / shyness / etc. - I feel like daycare made it worse for my LO but she was under 2, at a peak separation anxiety age and she only went part-time so that made the adjustment harder. It could have just been the age but her separation anxiety pretty much disappeared after a little while of being home with me and I feel like she really blossomed into a very outgoing and social child, especially with other adults. We have not had any issues with leaving her with sitters or anything like that since I have SAH. So, for us it was the opposite experience - I think the security and consistency of Mommy every day helped her overcome that.
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Ds1 was a grandmacare baby since birth and we wanted him to get socialization and also more activities. He started a 3 day 4 hour program at 2.5. He loves it and we'll probably go to five days this fall (1 year since he started).
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@daniellemybelle: you're right, I did reword the entire post! I originally mentioned that LO is really really shy around adults (and other children) to the point of almost being fearful (it seems) and was hoping that starting preschool at 2 would help him be more comfortable around other people. I'm stressing and waffling about the decision because I really don't know if it will help, but I am really hopeful that it will. Thanks for your input!
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Every kid is different and you know your child best. I am a SAHM and really felt the need to make local mommy friends. All my friends have kids that are much older so play dates with friends were impossible with their school and activities. What helped my DD outgrow her shyness was watching me interact with other moms and also talk to their kids too at our weekly play groups. I would make sure to interact and talk with the kids too. We went to 2 different ones weekly and DD is one of the sweetest and friendliest kids in both groups (she is 2.5). I think she learned how to be friendly through me. I don't think kids neccesarily have to go to daycare to learn socialization, they can learn it at home. They do need a few friends at play groups to learn it and to be able to follow through.
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I think it depends on the program. Our preschool is a structured play based. There's no homework and they only work on craft projects. She does learn a ton, but it's not imposed on her. They don't grade in anyway, so if she doesn't know how to write her letters properly, it's not accessed at all. That's reserved for kindergarten or maybe even first grade (we live abroad).
Having said that, she technically started preschool at 1.5. The common term is daycare, but it's structured, so it's more similar to preschool, if that makes sense.
@BabyTsMom: To answer your question, I wish I enrolled my LO sooner (soon after she turned 1, which is the minimum requirement). The socialization aspect is really important and she's only flourished since she started.
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@Kimberlybee: yes to this!
Neither myself nor my big girl were ready for her to attend preschool as a new / young two year old but she did thrive on attending a local playgroup and weekly music class with me. She was also my wee sidekick so got plenty of opportunities for socialisation with a diverse group of people by just going about day to day stuff with me (errands, appointments etc).
We started the transition to kindergarten (more like preschool in New Zealand so two hours a day, three days a week) at 2.5 and she was definitely ready to leave our bubble and start learning the things that I couldn't teach her at home.
I have to be honest though because I don't necessarily believe that daycare is a necessity in terms of socialisation for younger toddlers / babies.
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The programs for twos (not the ones associated with full time day care centers) were at most 2 hours a week, with the option for parents to stay the entire time, which most did, considering that the class was an hour at a time.
I would have put my son in that kind of program, no problem. At this age, the benefit to me is widening your social circle, different activities, different rules.
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@BabyTsMom: Yes, illness was the main factor. The school was truly excellent and I liked the teachers a lot. It was also super clean and they kept the children really clean, so I know it wasn't lack of hygiene that was the problem. But the run of illnesses we had was brutal. I still feel awful about putting LO through that.
Apart from the illness issue, which absolutely drove the decision to leave, I also didn't like that I was giving away the best part of the day with LO for a few days a week. His program was in the morning, and that's one of the best times of day with a toddler! I don't know why I thought that was a good idea. We did so much fun stuff in the mornings he wasn't in school, and he learned a ton then.
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@BabyTsMom: my LO isn't starting preschool until (almost) 3, but I just wanted to respond to your concerns about the shyness. My LO turned 2 in december, and really until about a month or so before she turned 2, she was very shy around adults she did not know and did not interact at all with other kids (she was definitely an observer). Something changed in her right before 2 that she's become way more social lately! she's more friendly with strangers, and has started interacting with kids a lot! she is not in preschool, but does her scheduled activities a few days a week (with her caregiver) and she's started making friends and really engaging with other kids.
as for whether we would have put her in the 2s program if we had the opportunity, we did have the opportunity but chose not to because I didn't feel being left with strangers was the right thing for her specific personality at her age and she was thriving in her current arrangement. Now, just a few months into the school year, I have no doubts she'll be 100% ready when september rolls around!
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@honeybear: when your lo went back to school was it better? Sorry for the thread jack, but I may be starting work soon and were considering a different form of childcare as this cold/flu season is so hard on our family with our first time in child care three year old and our new baby.
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@2littlepumpkins: He didn't go back. We decided to home school. (For reasons well beyond the illness factor, to be sure!
)
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@BabyTsMom: I think you can take comfort in the fact that it's not permanent. You can change your mind of it's not s good fit.
I would definitely do the transition time and I'd ask the advice of the director for how you should approach the transition based on your lo's personality. The nice thing is that these teachers have seen it all!
Our transition was not really s social one...he loves adults and didn't really care about kids either way, by it was a slow transition for napping and following directions. I think like almost two weeks. But once he got it, everything was good.
The sickness is no joke though. I think in the end it's good for their immune system, but we have not enjoyed this winter! (We started at age 2.5.)
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I think it depends on the child. DD1 was so, so scared of other children and other adults. She shutdown when we would take her to the park, indoor play areas and even when we toured her current preschool. She wouldn't talk, closed her eyes and hugged me tight. It was pretty stressful for her. It was just a phase, luckily (a long phase). But by the the time she was 3, she was more willing to try activities she liked with other kids. We started with a ballet class in the summer and by fall, she was so ready for preschool. She loves it and warmed right up! It also helped to see other kids cling to their parents at drop off, I think (like she wasn't alone in feeling that way).
DD2 loves playing with other children and she thrives from interacting with other kids. We're leaning toward starting her in a 2s program.
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My son started when he was 2.8. I think the benefits have been he gets to play and form relationships with other kids, he learns how to take direction from other adults, he gains some independence from us, meaning he now has his own thing. He comes home and tells us about his day. I am a SAHM so this is his first experience being away from home. I am glad we did it now as I am not sure if it would have been even harder to separate when he was already 3. He's also picked up a lot of new interests purely by being around the other kids. The only thing I would suggest is deal with potty training before you start them. No matter how supportive they say they will be I wish I had him fully trained before we started him, just one less thing you know.
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LO started at two on the dot. She did super well!! She was potty trained when she started but regressed a tiny bit so she went to pull ups for a week or two and right back where she was. No other adjustments needed. It actually helped her sleep. It was like she was born for school! She was so happy to play with friends, being an only child. Now, in the four year old class, she is a little bored doing the same thing as at three, and prefers to stay at home.
In addition to the time at school which he loves, it's also been nice for us to meet other parents, see familiar faces on the weekends at the playground/museum/grocery, and go to birthday parties.
He's super outgoing now. I don't think you have anything to worry about on that score. Reply
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