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I am new to the SAHM gig; I just stopped working about a month ago, when I had #2. Financially, I wouldn't be bringing home much after paying for full-time daycare for two. However, the retirement contributions and full health care were major financial considerations, for us. Also, even though I never thought I'd want to be a SAHM, having DD totally changed my mind, and part of deciding to TTC #2 was getting my husband to agree that I should/could stay at home.

Personally, I think it's better to plan on going back and see how it goes once your LO is here. Having a child does change you, and sometimes, what you planned during pregnancy is no longer what you want once you have a child. With this economy, it'd be a lot easier to keep your job until you're absolutely sure you want to stay at home than quit now and try to look for another job if the SAHM thing doesn't work out.

I always wanted to be a SAHM. My mom was one, and I loved having her home with me, so I wanted to be able to do the same with my LO. It would be pointless for me to work for money reasons because all of what I earned would have gone to day care.

I did have a little freakout after LO was just a couple of months because I thought I made the wrong decision. She had reflux so she cried for hours on end without being able to soothe her. I was going crazy! But I'm glad I stuck it out, because we were able to figure out what was wrong, get her meds, and now I'm so happy being home with her every day. I hate how fast she grows but I'm so happy to know that I'm not missing a second of it.

@highwire: I'm a SAHM and we always agreed I would be when we had kids, so it's something we always planned for. We are comfortable on just DH's income, so it works for us.

Does your current employer offer maternity leave? Maybe during that time you'll have a better idea of what it would be like to be a SAHM and decide then? I know some people frown upon leaving your employer at the end of maternity leave, but it's actually really common and you have to do what is best for you. The good thing about that plan also means you don't have to look for a new job right away if the SAHM thing doesn't work out. You can always look for a new job after that point if you do want to work.

I agree with lots of the other ladies here, I think it would make more sense for you to be a SAHM. If you get bored or would like to bring in a little extra business, you could always work from home part time, running an etsy shop something.

If I only brought home $100 after childcare, it would probably a very simple decision. Unless we really couldn't made ends meet - then we would try to find a more affordable childcare option or try to get help from family.

I am a SAHM to four kids. They are all under four so they are at home with me. I'll be honest. It's not a glamorous life style. It is 24/7 and you never get everything done that you think you should be able to do. Some days my kids annoy me to no end. There are some days when my husband come home and I am still in my pajamas, look a mess and have had to go to the bathroom for hours but haven't found the time. My days ate full of dirty diapers, snotty noses, and messes galore

But I wouldn't have it any other way. Each day I see them learn new things or change just a little. I always think about what it would be like if I missed those moments. I would be do disappointed. My day is also full of hugs and kisses and playing games. My children want to be around me and love my attention and I am so blessed to be in a financial situation to be able to give them my time.

I like being the one to raise them instead of someone else. I was a high school teacher before kids. I couldn't see myself spending all day with someone else's kids while paying someone to be with mine. I Understand people who work though. I was raised by two working parents and never felt my life was lacking in any way. It is a personal choice that every couple must make when having kids. The good thing is you can always change your mind and quit a job or find a job. If you do pick SAHM I suggest sticking it out at least a couple months. The first weeks can be lonely and a bit overwhelming. But as your child gets oldwr and interacts more it feels a litle less isolating. Also get other SAHMs as friends. Play dates can save your sanity!!!!

You have a lot of SAHM perspectives so I thought I'd weigh in with a different one. I work 3 days a week and I have to say it has worked out to be the perfect situation for my family. Now, I do really enjoy my job, which may not be the case for you. I have flexible hours and spend all morning with my son on all but one day of the week. Working part-time gives me an identity outside of being a mom, gives me a break that lets me enjoy my son more on the days that I'm home, and also helps my family financially. I don't think I could handle working full time (would feel like I'm missing too much at home!), but I'm not sure I could handle being a fulltime SAHM either (it's not an easy job). Just wanted to throw that out there. Good luck with your decision!

I work, and while I don't adore my current projects, I would not want to stay at home.
I wish I was home more... I think in my ideal world, I'd have a setup similar to Ohapostrophe's- getting in lots of quality time with LO but still having that time devoted to personal and professional development.
Sometimes I feel like it is hard enough maintaining an identity outside being a mom when your kids are little.. and while it's not impossible by any means for a SAHM, working automatically gives me a second identity. I like my colleagues- I like the friendships I have, I like having adult conversations, and I like the social aspect of my job during the day. I like the intellectual challenges. I like the fact that I have so much control over my day- I take breaks when I want, I have lunch when I want, I go to the bathroom when I want, I check email when I want. (Those sound so small, but I swear they meant so much to me when I first went back to work after maternity leave). I wish my commute were shorter, but I like the fact that I have some downtime to listen to music or catch up on the news or call my grandmothers when I am going 3 miles an hour on the highway. I like the fact that I almost never get sick of being with LO or frustrated by LO; when I'm away from him during weekdays, I can handle pretty much anything when I'm with him, and that I feel like almost all our time together is quality time. (This is aided by the fact that we have a cleaning service, which we'd give up if I stayed home, and that means there are less chores I have to worry about at home, freeing up more time for LO). I like LO's daycare- I like the socialization that he gets (he LOVES being around other kids), and the fact that he totally does more interesting activities at school than I'd be able to come up with every hour of every day at home.
And I figured that I could always decide to stay home with him (my mom stayed home with my sister and I, and I feel like the times when I really most appreciated that fact was middle school, not when I was a toddler... so I feel like if I really decide that being a SAHM is where it's at, I know I have plenty of time to make LO feel like he got the benefit of a SAHM).

@highwire: I can't really weigh in, but I'm curious: does your current employer provide you with 401(k)s or other retirement services? For me, that would be a HUGE factor into whether I stayed home or not. You might not be bringing home much after child care costs, but you should also take into account any money that's going to retirement savings. Of course, if don't have a 401(k) or something similar, then all you'll really miss out on is that extra $100, which, as you've said before, may be moot anyway.

@highwire: Yeah, no benefits doesn't really give a lot of incentive to stay. I would say that it really sounds like being a SAHM makes more sense. That or finding a better paying job.

@highwire: So you could always just start off being a SAHM for now since your current job isn't really worth it. Then if you decide you'd rather go back to work, find a better job. That would be my vote for you.

@highwire: We always knew I'd be a SAHM, so we started working toward that goal as soon as we'd made the decision to TTC. We paid of all our debts (we have a mortgage and DH's student loans, but that's it) then started living off of DH's paycheck and putting all the money I made into savings. By the time Little Jumper was born, we had a nice cushiony savings and had been used to living off of DH's paycheck for quite some time. To be fair, we had three years to do that -- although we never imagined it would take us 3 years to get pregnant.

If, after paying childcare, you're left with $100... then I'd put some serious consideration into being a SAHM.

Now that i am pregnant I have been thinking a lot about this - but I don't think it's in the cards for us right now.

I am in a challenging profession that i love, but the hours are tough, usually have to bring work home and some weekends.

I also have all of our benefits through my job since my husband has his own business. When looking at the cost of daycare I will still have just under half my paycheck left --- So all of those things added up mean I will be working.

I would love to start my own business, maybe after my husbands takes off - then I could be home and maybe have a nanny to help out.... Maybe for baby #2!