I've been taking T to little kids (1 and younger) and big kids story hour for almost a year. Lately she has become really mobile and social. She will crawl away from me and sit in front of the librarian and does not really approach or touch other kids, sometimes she will cruise on the walls or front table. If it's an activity where she could get stepped on like a jumping song or the parachute I will hold her- which leads to squirming and back arching since she does not love being restrained. Anyways- Some of the kids will smile and gently play with her- great. But I've also noticed some of the bigger/older kids get handsy with her while she is trying to stand or cruise- like could knock her over. Which is not the end of the world- but the floor is hard. So am I the distracting person letting my 13 month old roam free? Or is it bad manners for bigger kids to be trying to pick her up/move her? Since she does not like being contained I wonder if I should just not go for awhile? Or just take her home if I'm uncomfortable? These things happen when she's 30 ft away so it's not a quick redirect. Thoughts?
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this has been one of the reasons we haven't gone yet! I wish they had a baby focused one at my library. I should just try it though.
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I think it's fine to let her roam around, and the bigger kids' parents should be on top of what they are doing if they are touching another child. That being said, it's probably crowded and hard to get to them, so if you're uncomfortable I might skip it.
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@junebugsmama: she's in daycare 8 hours a week and is the youngest there. I know she gets loved a little enthusiastically by the other kids- but it's with close supervision and all of the kids are 5 and younger.
I guess it just suprised me to see a much bigger kid 7/8? (there's lots of homeschooling in my area) trying to pick up a baby they don't know. I'm not sure if I'm being overly sensitive or if it's bad manners.
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All the kids roam free at the one I take DD too. It's for babies 18m and younger. The parents only step in if someone gets handsy. I really don't think you are doing anything wrong.
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@hilsy85: totally. She's just starting to walk and is biting it pretty often on our wood floors at home. Sometimes it's 30 kids- sometimes 15. T just really likes the librarian and wants to sit at her feet.
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@Mrs. Pickle: this sounds awesome! We've graduated from 1 year sadly.
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@youboots: that part is weird...i more mean like my kid disturbing everyone and being crazy! haha I think some kids with siblings or family member babies are really comfortable picking up babies, I've seen it with random kids at the park. and yeah, I don't let them! haha
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@youboots: I would prob intervene if I saw that, and hope that the parent would then step in and apologize/talk to the older kid. Is there any baby-only story hour by you?
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Yeah I think I just need to feel ok getting T and taking her away from the big group and leaving if need be. I guess I just don't want to be disruptive or distracting, but I really want to make sure T is safe during this in between point before she understands that she has to sit and stay still.
I love going since its 3x a week 2 blocks away.
I'm really comfortable with kids I know, but it's kind of a different situation and I want to make sure I'm not being a sensitive FTM.
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@youboots: I wouldn't like it if a child tried to pick up DD. I would have to say something in that situation.
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On a fun note. A very sweet little girl asked me if she could hold T at story hour- I checked with her Mom. Then she invited us to the park with her Mom & brother. That was when T was 4/5 months old and we have been friends since. It's been a really neat way to connect with other Moms and kids in the area.
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@youboots: so sweet! I need to just try it, because its also two blocks from our house!
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Our library offers three story hours. Baby (0-12 months), toddler (12-36 months) and preschooler (3-5 years). In my experience, the librarians have been kind but vocal about respecting the age suggestions. Obviously, children on the cusp are fine and sometimes a sibling has to come along. I actually take DD, who is 2.5, to the preschool hour, as the stories and activities are more her thing. She seemed to be "aging out" of the toddler stuff. But the preschool hour involves a lot more interaction, singing on their feet, jumping to the beat, etc. So, I guess I can see how a crawling baby in the mix might present a safety concern for parents on either side. If your library is more liberal about the age distinctions and the crowds are smaller, I really don't think it's a big deal that T is there, or that you're stepping in when necessary.
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+1 to Deerylou. Our library asks that you attend the story hour for your appropriate age group since it gets really crowded.
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I would only attend the library story time for the appropriate age group. I was itching to take him sooner since its around the corner from us. But I didn't feel comfortable until he was 17.5 months for the 18 month story time.
I figure that they have their rules and age groups for a reason, and I am a crazy rule follower. So I would think that if he was getting roughed up its because I took him to an age group that wasn't appropriate. -
There is only up to one year and all ages, I wish there was a toddler group. So she is in the right age group. As I mentioned I pick her up when they are doing standing activities. I'll check in with the librarian about it.
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This is one of those situations where no or is really in the wrong but I totally get why you're uncomfortable and I would be too. On one hand, I don't think it'll fun for your LO or you if you have to contain her all th time. On the other hand, while I would feel very weird about kids touching my LO, this is standard kid behavior (even my nieces and nephews are super super handsy with their younger cousins....we're always talking about personal space over here) so they're not doing anything so crazy... Ugh. I'd probably try to only attend story times where there were similarly aged kids - can you go during school hours? That should limit it to 4 or 5and below I would think?
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I have always had roamers at story time (actually I think I posted this same question about a year ago!). I have twins and it's hard to make them both sit nicely on my lap for a full 45 min. I go to a pretty relaxed story time for this reason and all the kids roam pretty freely unless it's very crowded. I figure it's as much about exposing my kids to a new place, new people as it is about sitting quietly and listening to the books and songs. I do not take them to the library story time because the expectation seems to be different at my particular library and my wild hooligans are the only ones walking around.
Now that my kids are older (almost 2) and there are younger kids underfoot, I try to stay on top of them to make sure they aren't bothering the little ones. My son likes to really get in the face of younger ones and talk loudly, so I remind him that he can talk to the babies, but not touch and that he needs to give them space and talk quietly. Usually when I'm doing this the other mom is like "oh, it's fine!" But I feel like I have to make the effort to show that I'm keeping an eye on my kid. I don't mind if other kids touch my kids, but they are twins and have been grabbed at, rolled over on, kicked, stepped on, etc. their whole lives by another little person. So in general I'm very casual about it because it's not going to freak my kid out.
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@youboots: I would suggest it to the librarian, that they should do a toddler group!
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@twodoghouse: yeah. I think the other issue is that some parents treat it like drop off care and wander around the library. One mom with older kids smokes outside. I doubt this is the intention. @looch: yeah, I think this post shows me that there are other places that have it more broken down. The librarian is a family friend of my uncles and I visit with her after story hour and am comfortable chatting with her about it, I will suggest it. It may be a good option for the summer.
Thanks for your input ladies!
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Definitely talk to the librarian! She/he can intervene with the older kids. I'm a children's librarian and have been doing story times for almost 10 years. We expect the little ones to roam but we don't always catch when the bigger ones are getting in the way. But please don't stop coming without giving her/him a chance to improve this situation.
Now that my kids are older (almost 2) and there are younger kids underfoot, I try to stay on top of them to make sure they aren't bothering the little ones. My son likes to really get in the face of younger ones and talk loudly, so I remind him that he can talk to the babies, but not touch and that he needs to give them space and talk quietly. Usually when I'm doing this the other mom is like "oh, it's fine!" But I feel like I have to make the effort to show that I'm keeping an eye on my kid. I don't mind if other kids touch my kids, but they are twins and have been grabbed at, rolled over on, kicked, stepped on, etc. their whole lives by another little person. So in general I'm very casual about it because it's not going to freak my kid out.
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