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This was a daily struggle for us. DD1 would FLIP OUT every day because she didn't want to wear her uniform to school (thrashing, screaming, throwing things, hitting us...) and I dreaded it every day. It almost always ended in us forcing her out of her pj's and into her uniform.

Sometimes, if I gave her the option of what color shirt/pants to wear, it would help, but what mostly helped is talking to her about it before hand. ... And I would tell her (in a very fact-of-the-matter tone), "You have to put your uniform on. So, either you can change your clothes or I will do it for you, and you won't like it if I do it for you. The choice is up to you.". and I would always follow through with it. After a few times, she learned she didn't like it when I did it.

I usually give DS a choice in his clothes with some parameters. I ask him if he wants a blue or green t-shirt and then if he wants pants or shorts - weather permitting that is. This works out well since he feels like he has control over the situation. Maybe you can give her a choice of two colors of leggings and tops?

I find that if we're consistent about getting DD dressed every day, even if we aren't going anywhere, the battles aren't as bad. If we have days when we let her hang out in pjs, getting her dressed for the next couple days is harder. I also let her pick her own outfits from her drawer most of the time, unless we're really pressed for time - this drives DH batty and if he's in charge, he will usually just choose something for her and she eventually gets over it. But I think it's important for her to be able to choose and I don't really care if her outfits don't match (and DH is practically colorblind so you can't really tell if she dressed herself or if he did it on any given day). But there are still mornings like today when I have to stuff her into her clothes like a sausage and feel like the meanest mom ever...

We had an epic meltdown over this a few days ago. Since then I have been letting her choose between two things I pick for her and that is helping. But it's only been a few days so who knows whether it will help long term.

This is a very common issue with this age group!!!! Some days getting dressed is not a big deal. And some days even letting her pick or giving her ample time to get used to the idea is not enough. A lot of time telling her we're going out to do xyz (something she considers fun) is enough to get her out. She loves going to "school" so usually telling her we're going to be late is enough. Other time if it's not school I just let her go in pajamas if it's such a big battle. Who cares?!

@Bao: could she help you pick out her clothes (like at the store)? there is one girl at LO1s school that wears an Elsa dress (not THE Elsa dress, but still...tulle skirt and all) to school at least 2x a week. I'm guessing her parents just gave up the battle, figuring it was better than pjs. Is there anything she loves that you could get her a character shirt/dress of?

also, i think any parent of a kid that age would only commiserate with you if they saw you out with her in PJs

@bao: umm, awesome. what about letting her wear pajama tops OR bottoms every day, but making her wear real clothes for the other half? kinda like a compromise...haha...