First time poster here, desperate for advice or general encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. LO is 5.5 months old and we're on day 5 of CIO. We were cosleeping up until now and he was waking up every 1.5-2 hours and HAD to be nursed back to sleep. Night 1 was terrible (cried an hour straight, threw up 12 minutes in, slept 4 hours, ate, slept another 4). Night 2 was worse (cried an hour straight, slept/cried for another hour, slept 2 hours, slept/cried another hour, ate, slept 4 hours). Night 3 was vastly improved (cried on/off for 35 minutes, slept 6 hours, ate, slept 2 hours, talked to his mobile a bit, then slept another 2). We thought we were over the bend but night 4 was worse than night 1! He was HYSTERICAL for an hour before passing out for 4 hours, ate and slept another 4 before I fed him again and brought him in bed with me to sleep two more. I am terrified of tonight and don't know at which point I should give up, a week? Tomorrow? Anyone else have a regression within sleep training?
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There are some babies it is just not suitable for. Only you can decide if your little one is one of those babies. I wish I had easy solutions for you, but sleep can be a very tough issue. We opted for co-sleeping and frequent baby awakenings while minimizing my awakenings. With our second child we worked hard to establish great sleep habits from day one.
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His naps got better on their own, I was hoping night sleep would follow but the fragmented sleep for me and DH was really affecting every other area of our lives. I guess we'll go one more night and see.
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@MamaChin: I'm wishing you the best. Hopefully it's darkest before the dawn and tonight will be better!
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We did CIO at 6.5 months and did not experience a regression. But I have read that it is not unusual to experience a regression as realizes that this is the new world order and wants to resist. The transition will be tougher on your LO because not only does he have to learn how to fall asleep in his own but he is doing it in a strange place where he is not used to sleeping. I would try for a couple of more days and reevaluate or else the 5 days that you just went through would have been kind of wasted.
Although if he continues to cry to the point of throwing up then maybe a more gentle method of sleep training would work better. Have you tried more gentle methods of sleep training already?
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I agree, some babies just don't respond we'll to CIO. Also, I think sleep is like any other milestone. There's a time (different for every kid) that they are just able to learn how to sleep better and by themselves. For my LO, it was 6.5-7 months old. We sleep trained then, but it was so easy.... She just was just able to sleep then. Had we tried 2 weeks earlier, it would have been a flop.
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I agree with the previous ladies that some babies just don't adapt well with CIO, AND that in most circumstances each individual baby reaches a time where sleep comes more naturally to them. P started sttn on her own around 11.5 months (no sleep training) and sttn on most nights (the others we still nurse & co-bed).
I would say do what works for your family. If that means holding off on sleep training for a period then do it! If that means finding a less invasive approach then do that! You have to do what works for everyone.. including you AND bubs! GL
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@nerdbee - I tried some of Pantley's methods but they didn't work, or maybe I didn't have the patience to wait to see improvement.
@weagle - how did you know she was ready? Maybe there were signs that I should've looked for?
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i've heard of a lot of babies that had a regression on day 4 of sleep training. i would try to give it one more shot and if night 5 is not going well, you can hold off until lo is a little older.
i've never been in your shoes (both my kids were pretty easy to sleep train), but i can imagine how tough it's been the past 4 nights. if you can handle the night wakings, i don't think there is a harm in putting it off longer. i didn't sleep train olive until 13 months.
hopefully there is lots of sleep in your future!
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@MamaChin: a lot of people try sleep training a couple of times at different ages before it just takes. there may not necessarily be a sign.
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I agree with others that CIO may not be for all babies. Do you have a bedtime routine in place? Are you putting him down when he's already drifting off to sleep? Can you tell me more about your process in detail? Also, does he have any self soothe mechanisms in place (sucking fist/thumb/fingers, paci, lovey?)...
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I *think* I'm doing all the correct things. We've had a bedtime routine for months - albeit a short one - bath, nurse, song. Although the last month he had been going to sleep while nursing. I did add reading two short books between bath and nurse so he'll spend more awake time in his room doing pleasant things. His habits keep changing, he weaned himself off rocking and the paci is hit or miss. He likes to chew his fingers but I don't think it's as much soothing as it is exploring since he only did it when he is awake. I now nurse him in his room so he doesn't think it's a place we "go to" to torture him to sleep, I pull him off right before he is asleep and put him down, pat his chest a little, sing a lullaby, give him a kiss and leave.
Maybe it's the rule of "write about it on the Internet and things will change", but *cross my fingers* he has only cried a few minutes on and off since I put him down 20 mins ago and seems to be asleep. It'll probably be another night of me being glued to the monitor but as long as he sleeps!!
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I don't know why I didn't join sooner, this community is really something lovely.
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@MamaChin: There were some clues. First, she had done it consistently for a period before. So, we knew she was capable. Also, all of the "tricks" to get her to sleep stopped working. Everything we would do would just keep her awake. Really, though, the biggest clue was my own intuition. I just knew she was ready.
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@MamaChin: the gentler methods will often take longer to work. I have not heard of the Pantley method but I totally remember being so desperate for sleep that I would try anything.
Have you tried the pick up, put down method? I tried this on my LO and it worked for naps and worked for a while for bedtime but it didn't stick. Probably because he went through a regression and I got into the bad habit of rocking him to sleep again. Anyway, what I did was I would rock LO until he was very drowsy and then put him in the crib. If he cried, I would pick him up until he calmed down/got drowsy again and then put him down again. I would continue to do this until he stayed asleep in his crib. It can sometimes take an hour or more before he would stay asleep. Over the course of a few weeks, it would take less time for him to stay asleep and I could put him down less and less drowsy until I could put him down awake and he would fall asleep on his own. This method can take a lot longer than CIO but eventually LO did learn how to fall asleep on his own with minimal crying.
ETA: I just read your update. Yay! Hope he stays asleep and no more crying!
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@Weagle: that's when we sleep trained, when nothing else worked.
On routines, keep them consistent like in the same order. I think it really helped LO a lot. Careful not to remove too many comforts at once with sleep training. Too much change for a baby is tough. Pacis are okay for up to a year. He only gets it for sleep in crib, car, and stressful situations.
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We attempted sleep training three times at 5.5 months, 7 months and finally found success at 11 months. I second what Mrs. Bee said and maybe try night 5 but if it hasn't improved then to hold off until he's a little older.
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Hugs mommy.... I remember those days and I think my subconscious had repressed those memories.
I remember we moved LO to his own room by 1 or 2 weeks old (Dr's suggestion during our first well visit), and he did cry hysterically that night, but it was just one night. So I am thinking it is a combination of CIO and moving your LO to his own crib (I am assuming you are not CIO while cosleeping, right? Because I don't know how that could be done lol). To him it's more like, why am I abandoned? What did I do?
I'd say if the 5th and 6th night is still bad, maybe try to do it one thing at a time - ie. first move him to his own room/crib. When he is used to sleeping by himself without you, then do CIO?
I'd say regardless of what you do (giving up CIO or not), don't go back to co-sleep. In the long term you want LO to chill and learn to go back to sleep on his own, in his own bed.... gives you a lot of sanity and a chance to sleep through the night yourself as well in the near future.
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@MamaChin: aw yay just read the update! i hope this is a turning point for you guys and that this sticks! and yes, this community is so special, hope to see you around here more!
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He slept 11 hours last night with one feeding, total crying - 7 mild minutes, including night wakings. Hope he keeps this up!! Thanks everyone!
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@MamaChin: yay glad you had a good night!
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