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So I do think teeth issues are in large part genetic BUT I think it's always good to be really diligent. DD has gone to two different dentists and both say that parents need to do a follow up brushing until at least 8 years old. And that they need help flossing just as long. DD is almost 5 - her teeth are brushed twice a day - she brushes first and then either DH or I brush. We floss every other day normally (that's what her current dentist recommends). She doesn't really do it all, one of us does it.

DH had horrible teeth as a kid and young adult, lots of cavities. But he really buckled down on brushing and flossing, and we bought nicer electric toothbrushes and he hasn't had a cavity since. I have never had a cavity but have always been crazy about brushing and flossing, though I also have always loved sugar! So far DD hasn't had a cavity but with DH's history we have been really diligent with her teeth.

Cavities happen. I think as long as you start visiting the dentist regularly now, any will be caught super early. Our pediatric dentist applies a fluoride varnish every visit and even though we haven't been super great about flossing my almost 8 year old hasn't had a cavity yet.

I think genetics plays a part too. I had a ton of cavities as a kid because I never flossed and only brushed once a day. My husband was the same as a kid and he didn't get any cavities until he hit his 30's!

@Ajsmommy: genetics def play a big part. I’ve never had a cavity and I definitely wouldn’t have won any awards when I was younger for oral hygiene - my parents told us to brush, but I don’t remember them ever checking and I didn’t floss until I was an adult. But our dentist told us the same thing as a previous poster - until they are older, parents should do a follow up brushing. They also make a kids sonicare now - expensive but makes brushing so much easier.

Brushing kids teeth is so difficult. I will admit we often let our almost 6 year old brush on her own once per day, but we always make sure an adult does at least one very thorough brushing and that she flosses a few times a week. She was excited to do it all on her own once she turned 6 but then the new guidance came out. I can’t manage to get my fingers in her mouth to floss so I make sure she does a good job. I will say that the dentist always comments that it seems like she/we do a really good job brushing, and I remember my dentist as a kid saying that too (my mom took oral health seriously). Did your doctor give any indication of whether it seemed preventable through better oral care? With my one cavity which I got in high school they told me I couldn’t have prevented it—my teeth were just very grooved and a sealant had fallen out.

Our dentist also said absolutely no gummy vitamins (no fruit snacks obv.). He said he saw an initial reduction in cavities with kids not drinking soda as much, but a big uptick after gummy vitamins became popular.

I think it's genetic- my son is hardcore when it comes to dental hygiene and freaks out if he doesn't floss or use mouthwash, and he had a cavity. My daughter is pretty laissez-faire about the whole thing, and she's had none. I think my daughter has my teeth and my son has my husband's, so... oh well.

Genetics definitely plays a huge part but being vigilant is also really important to offset that. I'm in the same boat as you, I HATE HATE HATE the dentist and loathe it and I went a really long time without going and I had a huge crapload of stuff to deal with when I finally did. I was determined not to let that happen to my kids - not to have the same fear I do so I'm really disciplined with bringing them on time so they don't develop the same fears I did. I feel like if you bring them regularly and bring them to a pediatric dentist where they specialize in kids and making the experience normal and non-traumatic, it makes a big difference. Their dentists are really gentle and not about forcing anything - even when I'm ready to just force them to open their mouth, they are really calm and make it a very easy experience for them. So even if I'm dying inside at being at a dentist's office, at least my kids won't feel the same way.

My older son has deep grooves in his teeth and they were concerned that it could foster cavities so we took the proactive approach of sealants to prevent it from happening. The sealant process was pretty easy - the hardest part is they have to keep their mouths open for a long time which is tough. I would definitely recommend it because it's easier than treating the cavities.

@Ajsmommy: I'm glad you got through it! that's interesting about the numbness, wouldn't have expected that but it makes sense. I agree it is the weirdest feeling!!