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C has always had loud dramatic tantrums....i usuually say something along the lines of " you sound like you are really angry that xyz. Would you like a hug?" He almost always says yes and calms right down. He doesnt get his way in these situations, but i think the validation and the comfort help him settle down. Hugs momma....this stage is so tough!!

My son turned 3 in March & we have seen a huge change ... he's very sweet and polite to teachers and people in public but very "aggressive" and bossy with us. Common phrases are:
"MY job"
"WALK AWAY"
"NOT TALK LOUD"
"I'M to do it"

He alternates between whining for help & pushing us away. I can definitely see a struggle for independence and finally get what being a threenager is all about. He is also constantly testing limits, ignoring commands, arguing, melting down when there are consequences. He didn't really have full blown tantrums before this.

And then on the flip side, he is also funny, smart, silly, and extremely sweet at times. I bought him his own plant to water and he said "oh mommy! thank you so much, I love it." He says his baby sister is "soooo cuteeeee". Haha. In general, we avoid tantrums when we give him lots of jobs to work on...since he gets to feel in control and like the boss of something.

J turned 3 in March and holy hell the defiance is tough. He was an extremely sweet 2 year old so I guess I had it coming, but suddenly he is dramatically shouting at me about everything that doesn't go his way and I am constantly exasperated. I do find it seems worse if I am visibly annoyed though. If I can grit my teeth and stay unruffled on the outside (even if I'm seething within!) he seems to take a cue from that and moves on quickly. I really try. I really try not to shout and I reserve time-outs and punishments for really bad stuff (pushing little brother, today's color on the wall with Sharpie episode). This is a rough patch for sure.

It's hard and different for us, because we've had fairly smooth sailing until now. But now he starts seemingly every sentence with "no no no"and has a really hard time paying attention and listening to what we say/request. He also has more language and logic so he tries to negotiate everything which is fascinating but exhausting. And the whining, did I mention whining? Omg.

It's just really dramatic. More dramatic tantrums, defiance, etc, but also more dramatic playing, cuddles, emotions, etc.

3 is definitely harder than 2 for us! Ds is almost 2.5 and ds is almost 4 and we totally got off the hook with the "terrible twos" with him...and now, she is learning from him--so I totally feel like have twins.

We are dealing with a lot of not listening when we ask to do something. Also, a lot of whining, crying, forgetting to use manners and being demanding, and acting like a brat. Nonetheless, I am also encountering much more inquisitiveness--lots of whys/hows, constant chatter, protectiveness of LO, newfound independence (wants to do everything himself), and so I've tried to capitalize on this qualities. "Oh, DD is being a good listener and following all my directions. Good job DD."

We've had to be really creative with consequences and punishments. I get tired of telling him certain things all day and just can't adult by the end of the day. I really feel like we are turning a corner soon. For DS when he gets mad about whatever, I either immediately go go time out or let him cry out his little fit in his room. Amazingly, when he's done--he usually comes out and is sorry for whatever I put him in there for!