B (he will be 2 at the end of May) is becoming VERY strong willed lately and he does not like when we have to leave the playground. He will throw himself on the ground and full out tantrum. I've tried giving him a heads up we are leaving but it always ends in disaster. Please say I'm not the only one going through this... any advice???
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If you give out Gummi vitamins, you can save them for the playground... and give them just before he leaves? Nothing distracts from a transition like a treat!
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@mrbee: Treats! that's a good idea! thanks
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Ugh, J will be 2 in May as well and transitions have been tough lately. I warn him and tell him if he's a good boy he can have a cookie (1 animal cracker). It definitely helps...unless he's tired!
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I have totally been through that! It is no fun at all, and I don't think I ever found a sure fire way around it. Treats help, and if you can give it in two parts it's better, I would do part one as we walk to the stroller or car and part two after they are buckled.
Before hand we would talk about the rest of the day too and put together an order almost like Dora- park, home, wash hands (with extra soap was a great incentive!), and then something else they would look forward to but is a typical part of the day anyway. So we would practice that in the way there and then at the five minute warning we would run through it again.
It sort of feels mean but I also made a point to interrupt their play at that five minute warning. Often they would have a hard time reengaging and it would make it easier to leave. It would sometimes help to have a last thing, so if they were playing in the sand box they could have their last thing be three trips down the slide. After the last slide or whatever I sometimes scoop them up in a ridiculous way and joke about it with them until I got them to the stroller or car. At that point we would break out a fun snack and if the stars were aligned we would be home free!
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My LO (also 2 at the end of May) has started doing this recently at the park, children's museum, basically anywhere she has fun. No advice here since I just try and move quickly to the car and get her away from the scene of the tantrum, but I can commiserate.
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I usually say 'ok now we have to go home so we can have some snacks, do you want to help mommy push the stroller home?' Both the snacks and the helping seem to distract her from leaving!
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My son doesn't understand time and he can't be bribed with food or snacks (and I personally don't agree with bribing with food), so a five minute warning isn't useful. Instead, I tell him something that he can identify with, such as 2 more times down the slide, or one more push on the swings. I also set him up to do something at home, like washing hands and having a snack, and I am also very clear on the consequences, which have evolved over time.
It took him a few times, but now he gets it.
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@looch: Actually that's what we do, I say 3 more times down the slide and then we go home. He's a trickster though, he will act like he's leaving with me to go home and then run away from me. It's lots of fun.
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@littlek: I can imagine!
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I have tried everything - warnings, counting down, waving bye to all the stuff at the park. But T still tantrums. If I whisper in his ear he can have a treat when we sit nicely in the car he obliges. So I aave Annie's gummy bunnies or animal crackers or something he thinks is a treat and bribe him. Yep.
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@winniebee: I buy animal crackers in bulk already, that's what we bribe B with to sit like a good boy in his car seat. Maybe I should keep a bag of animal crackers in the stroller as well.
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Sometimes I ask E to show me how fast she can run on the grass or jump and when we get to the parking lot, I swoop her up and tell her how great she did.
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I think bribes are totally fine, and i just read an article recently that said it's okay if it's on your terms. So you could say at the beginning, "After we're done playing, mommy will give you a special snack/cookies/etc." You could put it in your pocket and after you've given your warning and then wave it in the air when it's time to go.
I also do what looch does and not do a 5 minute warning but something more understandable, like going down the slide 2 more times. I'm sure some moms frown upon this but i usually say, "okay, well mommy is going to leave. follow me when you're ready" and i start walking away. she usually says "bye" but once she realizes that i'm serious she runs to me.
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Snack time is how we roll when leaving the playground as well. I honestly don't consider it bribing....she has a snack most days anyway, so timing it for the transition from playground to stroller doesn't seem terribly manipulative to me. I just think of it as a minor distraction.
Alternatively, is there anything else he likes to do on the way home from the playground? For example, our playground trips usually involve either a short bus ride home or walking past a cage of lemurs (the park is at the public zoo - we live in the city)...so if I remind DD we're going to ride the bus, where she can press the button for our stop, or that we can visit the lemurs, she tends to chill out a bit.
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We went through this phase. It's rough, but temporary. My strategy was usually to try to leave with other people, preferably the kids he'd decided to follow around that day. It seemed to blunt the impact of the transition if his new pals were leaving too.
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bumping this thread! this happened today when we were leaving the park and oh man it was embarrassing!! I had to carry p to the car screaming and thrashing around in his car seat.i was shocked, he's never given me that reaction before when leaving the park.
any tips? -
I have this problem as well, but I try to tell her to look for dogs (she loves dogs) as an incentive.
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Transitions are hard for LO. Time warnings and final number of things works with him.
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DD1 never throws tantrums if I tire her out while in the playground. This means that we stay for at least 1 hour in the playground, and I encourage her to run around, play, interact, etc to get her to burn off some energy. If we must leave before the hour, then I typically bribe her with a healthy snack.
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I just want to say that this is sooooo common. My parents live right next a park and my mom is always laughing at the kids - she says they are "laughing when they get there, crying when they leave." I see the same thing at our park. DD doesn't have full-on tantrums yet, but she will struggle to be put down and then immediately turn around and walk back to the park. I find distraction sort of works.
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