Hellobee Boards

Commiseration here, especially my anxiety escalating when everyone else is loudly demanding. Which is why my kids watch a tv show just about every night while I “make” dinner (“make” because most of the meals are embarrassingly half ass anyway- bagels and strawberries for dinner? Fine.). I figure the extra half hour of tv is better than 20 minutes of me losing it and yelling, right?

@polkaspots: we all have days like this! Here are some things that have worked to varying degrees of success with my kids (no 6.5 and 3):
-reflecting feelings: lo is looking for attention more that anything else it sounds like. I say something like “oh wow you are so excited FYI see me and play with me and you want all my attention right now, huh?” Lo usually agrees and then we can try to make a deal—“mama wants to play too but I am sooo hungry...we both want to play but we need to eat first. Mama is going to do X and then we can play! Would you like to set up the cars or watch me?”
-emotion coaching: a variation of above and j think worth googling for the long version. I say something like, “oh man it is sooo frustrating when everyone needs something at the same time. You feel like you aren’t getting the attention you need. What can you do wkth your frustrated feelings?...mama likes to take deep breaths (or whatever), would you like to practice with me?”
-frame patience as a skill: “it’s hard to wait...let’s practice using our waiting muscles...keep going keep going, that was great, now tell me what you need” Start with really short intervals and lots of positive reinforcement.
-change the subject: if there is something that can switch gears and we can talk about while I am cooking that can help once I have validated their feelings but reiterated the limit. I do a lot of “I wonder...” “I wonder what your friends ate for lunch”, “I wonder what you want to do this weekend”

No idea if these would work for you but just a few suggestions...good luck!

My LO is two and gets clingy when he’s hangry, which means I’m even slower at getting food on the table. What’s worked for me is letting LO have a snack in the car. He’ll pick up a pear or apple, when available, from the daycare kitchen and eat that on the way home. We will talk about what’s for dinner and sometimes I can accommodate his requests. I buy time with our routine. When we get home I start dinner and then we take off shoes, wash hands all the things we have to do that really let’s him know we are home. I involve when I can in turning things on and throwing in pasta or closing cabinets.

Same as @MamaCate: with reflecting feelings and emotion coaching. We read Calm Down Time regularly and I use the same words from the book. This may be harder with two kids, but I remove LO from the area and we will sometimes talk it out in front of a mirror while he’s being held. DH realized early on LO’s mood lifted when he could see himself. LO really responds well he knows I fully understand what he wants and how he feels about it even if it’s a no, or a “but, first” or “after.”

For straight up patience practice I broadcast and talk through our activities. If he knows what’s coming next he’s perfectly chill. If I forget he remembers.

@polkaspots: my 6 year old isnt patient either but she does understand that sometimes the younger one needs attention first. I explain to her that she is the oldest and so sometimes she has to wait. What helps is giving her something to do while she waits. Sometimes its as simple as letting her help me with whatever I need to do first.

@polkaspots: Same. DS is 2.5 but if I don’t or can’t reapond to a request immediately* he just repeats it over and over and over and louder. It’s no good. Lol. Yesterday we went out of town and we were both trying to figure out the directions from the rental car place and DS dropped his toy car in his car seat and said MOMMY!MOM!GUIDO!!!!! (car’s name - from the Disney movie) at least 30 times in a row. I wanted to poke out my eyes with a fork.