Hellobee Boards

Also following. Still hoping to get DH on board with another, but I'm a little intimidated by the thought of a toddler and newborn.

Following. I won't have quite the same age gap but close. DS #2 us coming right around when DS #1 is 2 and 3 months. I did BW with him and I'm a little scared of trying to juggle two schedules on no sleep!

We have the same gap. For the first six weeks I tried to have someone come take LO1 out of the house every afternoon for a couple hours. Mostly to the park. We kept LO'S schedule the same, and DH went back to work on day 3. I made naptime sacred. So from 12-3 my phone was on silent and there was a sign over the door. No visitors. No exceptions. If LO2 wasn't napping I could at least relax on the sofa and nurse and rest. Someone brought us dinner every day for the first two weeks and that made a huge difference. I stocked up on frozen waffles and sausage and individual packages of snacks for LO1. We kept our eating schedule which also reminded me to take a break and eat. LO1 watched a ridiculous amount of TV. LO2 was mellow and didn't mind being set down which helped a ton. Because we kept LO'S schedule the whole time I would say we had a sense of normalcy by the end of the first week. Maybe sooner. My mom popped by most mornings for a quick visit and unloaded my dishwasher. I loaded it as we used things through the day. I ignored all other housework for like the first month. It was easier than I thought it would be!

We are 2.5 months in to having two kids. The first week we had a bunch of family in town (Christmas week) so they would take the toddler out every morning until nap time and I stayed home and rested and took care of the baby. After that, toddler watched a LOT of tv while I breastfed for a while. Once regular activities started up (again, baby was born a week before Christmas so everything was closed/ on vacation) the baby just came along to the toddlers things. I would rather wake the sleeping baby than deal with the dmtoddler in the house all the time. We are always home for the toddlers nap time (she is 2.5).

The hardest part has been evenings, when everyone is fussier and needier and I have to get dinner and bedtime stuff done but the baby likes to nurse a lot. It's gotten better but it's still the hardest part of the day.

For naps if we are home I can usually put the baby in the rock and play- we used to leave it out in the living room to get her used to the noise and light but now I put it in a quieter room for her. She will also happily nap in a carrier (preferably walking outside) or the infant car seat. Luckily my second is a lot more laid back than my first was!

One thing that was helpful was I would take evening walks in the neighborhood during the babys fussy witching hour. I put baby in the carrier and would walk a few blocks with the toddler. Fresh air for everyone, a little exercise for the toddler, and the baby usually had a cat nap in the carrier.

Things got more difficult recently as the toddler has started really feeling the lack of attention I guess, plus she's gotten sick. It's been tantrum city over here.

DD was just a little over 2 when baby bro was born! What really helped us was DD was in daycare full-time anyway, so the weekdays I got to just focus on the baby without too much of a juggle.

- What did your "schedule" look like (I use the term schedule in this scenario very loosely!)?
Round the clock feedings?? Haha, but seriously... I don't remember any kind of schedule the early days with DS, but he was an easy baby and was happy as long as he was fed, well rested, and had a clean diaper.

- How did you entertain the older one while you fed the newborn?
It wasn't very often that it was just me and the 2 kids, but when I did... I would have a bunch of stuff right next to me and have her by my side while I nursed. She also got to watch lots of TV and iPad during that time. My motto is you do what you gotta do to survive the newborn stage!

- How often did you hold the newborn for naps, or were they mostly set down so you could deal with the toddler?
DS was an easy baby, so he was fine being set down and in fact, he preferred it. He liked to hangout in the snuggabunny swing and rock n play.

- If you had help the first few days/week did you basically just camp out with the newborn and let the other person tend to the toddler?
Yes - My MIL was around to help, and DH took on a lot too. DH actually started taking on more of the toddler duties while DS was in utero, so when #2 popped out... the transition for DD wasn't as obvious, and she didn't really seem to wonder "why isn't mommy spending as much time with me anymore"? It felt pretty seamless.

- How long until you felt like there was some sense of rhythm/schedule? Was there anything that you thought was helpful in getting a sense of normalcy going?
I was a pretty strict scheduler with #1, but became a lot more go-with-the-flow with #2. He naturally fell into the 2-3-4 sleep pattern around 5/6 months without much effort from us. I was pleasantly surprised at how much more confident I was as a 2nd time mom. I had done it once, and everything just came so second nature the 2nd time around.

- Anything else that you would note as important?
Because of the closer age gap, I was able to get in a lot of dual naps! Once #2 got on a more consistent schedule around 5/6 months, he needed a morning nap around 9 and another around 1... I managed to play around with the schedule so that DD would nap whenever I needed the baby the nap. I found it a lot easier to play around with DD's routine since at age 2, it didn't affect her too much if I needed to push up or push back her naptimes here and there.

I really felt like the transition from 1 to 2 was so much easier than 0 to 1. Hopefully that is the case for you too! Lots of luck, and wishing you a smooth transition.

Xander was 21 months when Logan was born.

- What did your "schedule" look like (I use the term schedule in this scenario very loosely!)?
We kept Xander in daycare to keep up with his routine, so in the morning, my husband would get up with Xander and bring him to daycare. I stayed home with the baby and did round the clock feedings and whatever else. Around 4:30, my husband would go pick up Xander and bring him home. Then he would start dinner for everyone, play with Xander, and put him to bed. I helped out as much as I could, but it was all dependent on whether I needed to nurse or not. My husband picked up a LOT of the slack.

- How did you entertain the older one while you fed the newborn?
My husband entertained him! And we started putting on the TV for him too...

- How often did you hold the newborn for naps, or were they mostly set down so you could deal with the toddler?
I almost NEVER held the baby for naps. Except maybe during the day when Xander was at daycare. But otherwise, it was down in the bassinet for naps so I could do other stuff including eating, going to the bathroom, taking a shower, and dealing with the toddler.

- If you had help the first few days/week did you basically just camp out with the newborn and let the other person tend to the toddler?
Yep. Help was my husband and he took over almost all toddler responsibilities so I could focus on the baby.

- How long until you felt like there was some sense of rhythm/schedule? Was there anything that you thought was helpful in getting a sense of normalcy going?
Definitely keeping Xander in daycare was key. Probably around 6-8 weeks, Logan stopped nursing ALL the time and taking so long to nurse, so I had more time to give Xander some one-on-one time, which was definitely helpful. And then going back to work at 12 weeks, we got into a routine pretty quickly.

- Anything else that you would note as important?
Keep you toddler's current routine as close to normal as possible! And know that tantrums are going to happen. Be consistent with how you treat your toddler and give him some one-on-one with Mama time when you can. It'll help!