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I was in your shoes! I'll start about short term disability. In most cases, you need to sign up for that before you are pregnant. That was how ours worked and that was what I did (uhh....two months before I got preggo...working the system).

Our company never had anyone go out on maternity leave before. They pretty much wrote something for me once I announced my pregnancy. My boss and they owner of the company were very cool about it. They gave me 12 weeks (13, really) even though they didn't have to. They were mostly just happy for me and didn't worry too much about the fact that I would be out for so long (knowing I would be back). I made sure I STRESSED that I would be back because we need my job.

I would just go into it with an open mind. Once you announce, then talk to your boss about how you want to plan your leave. I think being open to suggestions would be best so it doesn't look like you're telling them, "I'm taking this time off, need this, this and this."

Good luck!!! Let us know how it goes.

I work in an office with 4 employees, and I am the first one in the history of the company to be pregnant. I announced my pregnancy to my boss around 12 weeks. We did not discuss any further details about my maternity leave until later on. I figured he probably wanted some time to think about what he wanted to offer and I wanted to give myself some more time to think about how much time I wanted off/whether I was returning to work/etc.

When my yearly review came around (I was about 5 months along by then), I took that time to bring up the actual plans for when I'd be finishing work, how long my maternity leave was, etc.

Even though we didn't have to adhere to FMLA, my boss said that he would go with whatever the law was in terms of time off. And while FMLA doesn't guarantee any paid time, he also included two weeks of paid time off, which I thought was great. And my health insurance still stays in place. I told him my last day would be at 39 weeks, unless I go into labor any earlier than that. He was okay with that plan. And I told him I would be returning to work after my leave is up. I'm not sure if it will be exactly 12 weeks or a little bit longer. But, I expect he will be flexible if I need an extra week or two (although I think I will be anxious to get back to work and start making money again)

Overall, the talk went great! My last day before maternity leave is actually in about 3 weeks!

@TLCbaby, I am in the EXACT same situation, and wrestling with this decision as well. I work for a company with 9 employees, not covered by FMLA. My employer doesn't offer short term disability - and here in PA that is the only way to get it.

My tentative plan is to announce as late as possible (well after 12 weeks if it doesn't become too obvious), state my intention that I plan to take 12 weeks and that I plan to return to work. I get 4 weeks vacation, and I'm going to see if I can negotiate a few more weeks paid, but I'm saving for the possibility of 8 weeks unpaid. For me the priorities are:
(1) get 12 weeks off
(2) make sure my job will be here when I get back and
(3) get some extra paid time off.

Please let us know what you decide! I'm planning on announcing in December if possible (8w4d right now), so I'd love to know how things go for you.

We have 12 employees (we had 30 when I announced, long story but it wasn't a downsize or anything). The only person who had ever been pregnant before was my boss, she just had her 2nd in December. So I told her actually at 6 weeks because I had a lot of doctors' appointments and was concerned about spotting, and wanted somebody to know what was going on in case something happened. She was thrilled, and she said we could talk about leave later on.

So what ended up happening was around 12-13 weeks she had come in my office just to chat about timelines, getting together in December to update her on everything just in case I went early. So I said, about leave, I don't know if we have a policy, but I was hoping to take 12 weeks and I'm hoping that's appropriate. She said, take the time you need and reminded me it would be unpaid (which I knew), but that it was fine.

They offer short-term disability, which I had signed up for before I was pregnant. You can't be pregnant when you sign up, most policies won't pay out the pregnancy benefit until 9 months after you sign up. Which protects them against stuff like somebody currently pregnant signing up.

With some exceptions (like California I think), your employer has to offer the disability plan. You can't just go get an individual disability plan, at least in our state. We cut it close because we actually didn't offer anything like that until April 2012.

Unfortunately, most states don't offer their own parental leave benefit. Five or six of them have plans that expand FMLA by reducing the number of employees a company needs to have to be required to follow the law, but none of those have a requirement of less than 10.

I would just second @Prettylizy's advice about not being apologetic. Be confident about your pregnancy and your ability to do your job both before and after birth. Follow your boss' cue on discussing leave -- they might bring it up now, they might want to discuss it later on. I would have your plan outlined (how much time you'd like, how you plan for your work to be covered) before telling your boss in case they do want to discuss it.

Good luck, I'm sure everything will work out fine!