Now that myself and several close family members pregnant my 6 y/o has been asking “how do you get pregnant” and I’m not sure how to have this talk. She’s very intelligent, but I’m not quite sure I want to broach the topic of sex yet. How have you answered these questions? Should I talk about sex? How do you even do that with a 6 year old?!
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Honestly, if she is asking I would take the opportunity and answer her questions in the way that you feel comfortable - but with real body parts, etc. You want her to come to you with these types of questions and if you can start building a base for it now, I think that is more likely in the future when things get serious. There is a sex therapist on IG that I like for this topic Kristin B Hodson. She has a lot of stuff about taking to your kids about sex.
I have tried to bait my 6 year old into these types of conversations (because they seem to be better received when she asks then when I just launch into it), but it hasn't worked yet. I need to get some good library books.
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We didn’t talk about the actual act to get pregnant, aka the sex, with our now 4 year old, but we did talk about the egg from the mum and the sperm from the dad and how one sperm fertilizes the egg and it becomes a baby. And we said where the sperm are stores. We watched some YouTube videos about the embryo development too. She knows she has eggs, but that they don’t become a baby until there is sperm and that can’t happen until you’re older. We briefly touched on IVF and also on menstruation-I mean super quick brush by of me saying “when you’re older you’ll bleed every month” because she saw me using a pad after childbirth. If she asks me stuff I answer honestly and matter-of-factly. She was satisfied with our answers and retained the knowledge because she talked about if afterwards a few times. I also don’t think it’s a big deal to talk about how a penis goes into a vagina and that’s how the sperm gets to the egg, but it’s about your comfort level and you need to decide where you’d like to draw the line for now.
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@Petitduck: my oldest was 6.5 when baby was born and this is about what we covered - she was very interested in eggs and the idea of dna from both parents coming together but didn’t ask about the mechanics so I didn’t go there yet. But I would have if she asked. I actually was really surprised that she didn’t! She did want to know how the baby gets out. I explained it to them (brother was 3.5) and he said “so basically you poop the baby out?” - yeah, basically
- we talked about c sections also since my SIL had them.
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I'm pretty straight forward... I don't think my 5 year old asked HOW the sperm and egg meet together to make a baby, but that's what she knows. I also don't think I'd have a problem with just telling her like how @Petitduck: described. My oldest knows all about periods, pregnancy and giving birth lol! I think most recently we were talking about body hair after seeing hair on my armpits & vag. I find them when I just tell her the facts, she actually asks less questions.
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Good advice all, thank you. She knows that all females have eggs in their bellies, so I think I will go the route of talking about how a seed from the dad joins an egg from the mom the grow a baby in her womb. I’m pretty sure what she was trying to ask me was about the actual mechanics though. I’ll probably check out that IG account to get some talking points.
She does know about how babies are born (in a very in depth way that includes vaginal and C section, including various reasons you might have a C section—she loves talking about this) and periods (basically the why we have them). I feel like I’m nervous to talk about mechanics because it opens up a whole new world that she might also share with classmates.
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@graceandjoy: my daughter asked why my butt was hairy a few months ago, which made me laugh internally so hard! It was not my butt she was looking at. Lol
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@bhbee: my daughter knows she was a csection baby and the doctor had to help her come out. I was very surprised when I was pregnant with my first how many kids at the school I worked at knew the about c sections, but now that my daughter is in school and has two younger siblings and we have discussed things even further it makes sense. She kept freaking me out when I wa a pregnant this time by saying the doctor would cut the baby out and I kept saying hopefully not! Because I wanted a vbac. Lol
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@Becky: we have this book that’s a bit silly and it has been read to my kids. My husband hates it. Lol. My parents gave it to me when I was 6 I think.
https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/josemartinezalcolea/mummy-laid-an-egg
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I like this book for an age appropriate discussion of sex and related topics
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@Petitduck: i love this! page 11 though.. made me LOL
To answer OP's question I try to be as honest with my 5 yo DD as I can. I haven't actually explained intercourse but she knows about vaginal birth and menstruation.. although i'm not sure she fully understood the why of it. I'm not so sure she's ready to fully learn about intercourse.. but maybe in a yr or two...
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@Petitduck: Oh my gosh I just looked at this and it’s hilarious. I’m going to show it to my husband and see if he’s ok with it because this is precisely the type of book that resonates with my kids.
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It's Not a Stork is a great recommendation, here's another:
https://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Baby-Cory-Silverberg/dp/1609804856/ -
I try to approach stuff like that from a science or biological perspective rather than a moral one and have found that my kids move on pretty quickly once I’ve answered their questions. The other day my 7yo asked how babies are born and I just replied that girls / ladies have a vagina and the baby comes out of there and she was perfectly happy with that brief explanation. I also figure that if I’m not embarrassed about discussing this stuff then my kids will hopefully feel like they can talk to me about it.
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@MrsSRS: We have this one and like it.
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@Becky: it’s silly, but also truthful. I mean, maybe not on a space hopper...🤣 I feel like it’s a good starting ground anyway.
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We use this to guide our conversations about sex. My 5yo likes to ask questions, so I find myself checking it probably a couple of times a year for age appropriate info. https://www.parenting.com/child/talking-to-kids-about-sex-21335549/
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Our 5yo asked when he was about 4, just out of the blue. We were totally taken off guard because both him and his brother are IVF babies born from my wife and a donor. So we fumbled a little then bought a book! We have ‘what makes a baby’ like @DesertDreams88 which I think is awesome in so many ways because it’s inclusive of all types of families. It explains about eggs and sperm and uterus and the whatnot but it’s somewhat ambiguous and not graphic at all. I highly recommend it! We also bought a book about bodies and private parts and after we read them all a few times he lost interest and no more questions. I find like others he is satisfied with simple answers almost always. We also had to talk about periods when I took him camping this past summer and he wouldn’t leave the stall while I changed my tampon
- we talked about c sections also since my SIL had them.
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