DS is almost 4 and he’s more than capable of dressing and undressing himself. However, he finds it hilarious to run away or stall in any number of other ways. For a while making a race of it worked, but now it’s not. If i do it for him he still wiggles and goofs off. I’ve tried time outs but that’s doesn’t exactly speed up the routine. Any suggestions?
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My DS is 3.5 and he barely can get his pants on and off. I know I should really be encouraging him to do it himself but it takes SO LONG. It’s just easier for me to dress him myself and I do it while he’s sitting on the potty in the morning. So, no advice - just solidarity.
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Dress him on the potty!
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@peaches1038, @crazydoglady: oh man I’m not usually even in there when he goes potty in the morning. He’s in and out, except for the occasional hand washing stall. It’s just so frustrating because it would really help me (especially in the morning) if i didn’t have to sit there and watch him goof around and pretend he doesn’t know how pants work
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@macintosh: my son is similarly aged and gets dressed by himself. But a lot of this is because his 7 y/o sister models this and they share a room.
For these types of issues I like to frame it as “if you want to do it yourself you need to go fast otherwise (pick a grownup) has to help”.
For example: “I want to pick my shirt”
Parent—“great I need you to pick by the time I count to five or else I pick”“I want to peel my banana”
“You are getting to be such a big boy. Try to do it yourself and let me know if you need help”
<stalling child>
“Uh oh, you didn’t start your banana. Please start by the time I xx or else I will do it”I don’t know if this is helpful but I thought it was worth mentioning.
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@macintosh: is there something fun he likes to do after getting dressed? Something he can only do from now on if he gets dressed quickly by himself?
I successfully got my LO to sleep in his own bed by making morning TV a perk.
@MamaCate: timers and countdowns are strong motivators in my house and I usually start warning LO it’s coming after several repeats. LO hates them. I’ll have to remember to use them from the beginning like how you do it.
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We’ve started laying out our 4yos clothes flat on the floor while she sleeps and in the morning she often gets herself dressed when she wakes up. Otherwise she stalls a bit. We get dressed before breakfast and she’s usually hungry and we tell her if she doesn’t get dressed we will go downstairs and eat without her. If she says she needs help we help her because usually she needs attention because we have been ignoring her that morning. Sometimes we tell her if she gets dressed quickly she can play after breakfast. We’ve also picked a song for her to get dressed to. You could also try routine cards?
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Have you tried Simon says? My 4.5 year old is obsessed and I’ve been using it to my advantage when he’s feeling uncooperative. It probably won’t work forever but you could mix it in to your repertoire on days when it’s a real struggle.
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Does he care if he is dressed? My 5 year old is really slow sometimes and I tell him he's going to the car however he is when it is time to go, regardless of whether he's ready. He's really orderly so the thought of walking to the car in socks makes him freak out.
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So my DH is a genius and started convincing DD1 that they are "racing" to get dressed in the morning. She runs back to her room and is so hooked on winning. It's not 100% because we still have rough days, but I'd say he's batting about 95% which is definitely a huge improvement!
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My 4 year old likes to stall too, but I have a girl that cares about what she puts on, so if she doesn't move when I ask her to, all I have to say is ok, I guess I can put your clothes away because you want to wear your PJs to school
And she knows that she either wears what I laid out, or go get her own clothes. My 2 year old on the other hand....
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How much do you care what he wears and how presentable he looks? What worked for us is making getting dressed his business. He picks his clothes and dressed himself. He generally gets his clothes on right, but rarely wears what I would choose. Like his Easter best was his beloved digger shirt, sweat pants, and Marshall boots. His birthday outfit featured pajama pants a matching T shirt. I choose my battles and giving him responsibility to be clothed and then stopping caring works for us
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@Pollywog: lol... my son this morning wanted to wear Nike shorts, a tank top, and a vest. 1st two passed, but I couldn't let him wear the vest/tank top combo.
My 4 year old dresses himself and 90% of the time picks out his own clothes as well. He's always been pretty good about it; my 2 year old is the battle, but usually if I let her pick it out, AND put it on herself it's ok.
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O is 3.5 and while she technically CAN dress herself, she hardly ever does. She doesn't really want to most of the time, so I kind of corner her in the bathroom/on the potty and get it done quickly then. Otherwise, we have the same running away, being goofy battle. I just have to make sure I have the CORRECT clothing when she's on the potty, which at this point is whatever dress she has decided is her princess dress, otherwise we have a huge problem.
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@macintosh: So much compassion for this struggle! Mine does the same thing - won’t dress himself, runs away laughing when I try to force clothes on him. It’s truly the only (ok the most) irritating thing he does. Unfortunately it’s most mornings of the week ...
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For DD it was she couldn’t choose what to wear it took her forever and she always changed her mind 3 times. So we got a little plastic stackable drawer set to put outfits, 1 in each drawer so we are set for the week. We also have tried fun ways to help... like for socks or shoes we call it the sock factory or the shoe factory, not sure why but the kids love it. For DS we try to bribe, awesome parents here. I bribe with iPad or tv, doesn’t get turned on at all if he isn’t completely ready first and even then it’s usually time to go anyway. And if we have anything special for breakfast I will bribe with that, like pop tarts or mini donuts.
I know how frustrating it is, good luck! -
We just started using an hourglass timer and a sticker chart for our mornings for this reason. If that's interesting to you let me know and I'll outline it in detail. Week 2 and it's working great!
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Does he pick his own clothes? For us we just let our girls pick their own clothes and now they don’t really care. When they were younger (18 mos-2 years) they got the option mentioned a few times above: they got a window in which they could do it, and if they didn’t do it then I put their clothes on them sometimes semi forcefully, and they would usually give in.
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Thanks everyone! You gave so many good ideas. He’s hardly interested in his clothes but i will let him pick the shirt, and i just grab pants that go. We used to do a getting dressed race, but the novelty wore off. I even did “I bet you can’t put your pants on..”.which worked a few times.
This morning I had him get dressed before breakfast and allowed him to watch Paw Patrol while eating as a reward while I got ready. It was better than the last minute scramble.
Tonight he had a bath and that is really the worst, because he’d rather run around naked than get dressed. I made losing 1 bedtime book a consequence and when that didn’t help I set the timer for 5 minutes and said he would lose the 2nd one, then left the room. (We do 2 books before bed on a good night.)
Turns out 5 minutes is plenty of time for a squirmy but motivated preschooler, and it’s waaay less frustrating that I don’t have to sit there and watch him goof off. Hope that works again tomorrow!
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@macintosh: that sounds like progress! Our kids also get to watch a show in the morning if they get ready fast enough (they are pretty good at this) so hopefully that continues to help.
I think the timer option sounds great—I realized I do this “planned ignoring” too. Removing the attention you give to the negative behavior can help make it less exciting.
Hope the positive trend continues!
And she knows that she either wears what I laid out, or go get her own clothes. 
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