So a friend posted this on Facebook today and I had a visceral reaction to it. Besides being needlessly confrontational, it tries to make an argument that I really dislike: That we need to be some kind of perfect version of a women to get good guys to like us. That we have to look like a woman and act cool, "like one of the guys".
What do you think? Am I overreacting to the message?
http://elitedaily.com/dating/women-marrying/
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Wow... that's just utterly ridiculous.
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What?? Everyone deserves love. Who is this person? If she were secure with herself, I don't think she would be writing about women she doesn't like. I hope her brothers and guy friends don't care about her opinion on who they marry lol.
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@travellingbee: I guess I don't find it offensive. It's someone's opinion and after reading her previous article I don't put much stock into her opinion.
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I read her other article she linked to.... I think the author has issues, for real. I wouldn't let it get to you.
It really sounds like she has some kind of chip on her shoulder towards certain types of women.
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@loveisstrange: Agreed!
After I read the first "girl who will never marry" I thought this lady must have serious issues to think in such a demeaning way upon another human being. Ugh
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@loveisstrange: agreed
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@runsyellowlites: @loveisstrange: Had you read it before this one? I was disappointed in the person that posted this link on Facebook. She's not married and I kept thinking "Really? Don't you want someone to marry you because they think you're interesting and respect you not because you fit into some "lovable" category?
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Because we all know that the girl with the graduate degree poses for photos with one ass cheek hanging out. Um... yeah.
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@Mrs. Twine: Ha! I choked on my tea.
When I graduated, I made sure to snap a photo with some serious side boob. Isn't that normal?
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@Mrs. Twine: Bahaha! I totally thought the same thing!
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@deerylou: I'm pretty sure it's a thesis requirement. They put it in with your published papers and whatnot.
@runsyellowlites: Not that it's impossible that that is someone with a graduate degree, but I'm a little skeptical that every girl who "should be married" looks like the ones in the (seemingly) gratuitous pictures.
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I do agree with this statement she made: "relationships almost never work if you’re not friends with your significant other." I totally agree with this. I think people get so hung up on love and forget about finding someone you really, genuinely LIKE.
I also agree that women with their own interests and own lives outside of trying to get a man or keeping a man *are* generally more interesting; the ones who constantly change their interests to whatever their boyfriend's interests are are boring.
The rest of the article though and who is marriage material over others....lol.
I know plenty of well educated, graduate school ladies who drink at "the club" on the weekends, and party hard. I certainly did!
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Yeah, I think her underlying message is right, but I don't think she portrayed it well. I think most successful relationships occur when both parties are indepedent and confident in who they are (independent meaning you are not reliant upon your SO as a crutch, rather as someone who complements you). And as @yoursilverlining: said above, you should have more in common with your partner than superficial things, you should be friends because the physical stuff dies off after a while and if you have nothing else to fall back on, what's left? Having your own interests and retaining them, different though they may be, whilst also enjoying mutual interests is key I think.
I read this post and her previous one as tongue in cheek, and like I said, I think her underlying message is right but she certainly would rub people the wrong way if you took the message literally.
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@mrs-twine: my understanding was that *all* 30-year-old women with graduate degrees were required to dress this way, otherwise their JDs, MAs, or PhDs were revoked. Is this not the case?
Just as all girls who are completely independent are not permitted to drive powerboats unless they are flipping you off. It's in the Powerboat Driver's Ed manual somewhere, I think.
I've learned so much from this article.
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@apis: That is how you tell an independent powerboat driver from one who is, say, leeching off of a rich husband. The one-fingered salute. And, yes, if you read the manual carefully, you will see it's in there. Trips lots of people up when they take their test.
As for the graduate degree dress code-- you hit the nail on the head. The problem was that there was no way to tell them apart from normal folk otherwise, so this way when people see them they know the mind-caliber they are dealing with right away. MENSA has similar guidelines.
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@mrs-twine: That's good to know. I assume that men with graduate degrees are also required to wear the exact same outfit. Thanks for clarifying.
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@apis: Not exactly the same. They have to add a bowtie. You know, for class. I have to get on my husband about that all the time. He keeps claiming that since he farms there is danger to certain exposed body parts. Psh. Rules is rules.
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@mrs-twine: Bowties. Of course.
Bowties are cool.
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Lol. Whatever.
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ohhh she is a terrible writer! and the pictures were just distracting and irrelevant. honestly, the writing was so poorly written and sounded so immature, I couldn't even read the whole thing.
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Angry girl! Somebody has a chip on her shoulder, no?!
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Ugh. What is with her need to classify people? I was trying to figure our which one of these girls I am and was unsuccessful. Perhaps I should inform my husband he should not have married me.
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@MrsSCB: I decided I was the ex-EDM girl who also went to grad school... guess she didn't make a category for multi-dimensional women, huh?
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She sounds really bitter. There's someone for everyone. “To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.” ― Bill Wilson
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Geez lady. Someone's upset at models and coke whores and it ain't me.
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She sounds crazy! And classifies herself as a "housewife in training". Um okay.
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I am so tired of all these articles telling women who we should be. We must be career driven lean-ins. No, wait we must stay at home. We must be sexy and independent, but too sexy of course. Seems like everyone has an opinion on how we should live our lives these days. How about we all just be who we are and whoever doesn't like it, well, then they can make their own choices.
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@RubyCali: Yes ma'am, cheers to your statement! Life is just too short to worry about this nonsense.
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@Mrs. Jacks: Yeah, this writer is just so angry and ridiculous as to be laughable. I find it very easy to write off, honestly. No one that I know feels this way - I wouldn't associate with them if they did.
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@blackbird: She did?? haha that's priceless as having a goal of "housewife in training" is pretty much the opposite of all of her definitions of "the girl you should be marrying". Derp.
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@Mrs. Twine: @apis: ya'll are hilarious!!!
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Anyone else read Gone Girl? Yeah, you should definitely try to marry a "cool girl" girl like Amy...
This writer seems incredibly desperate. She's getting attention and pageviews though, so maybe it's working.
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32 comments