-
@MsLipGloss: DO IT!!
@regberadaisy: Agreed. It's very easy to say things won't change before you actually have a baby and understand what it's like. I like to give the knowing smile and the nod in these situations.
-
i know someone who had a baby, then got a puppy, then got pregnant again and then i saw her post on facebook that they are looking to give away their dog to a home that can give it more attention
at least they have the dog's best interest at heart. I've wanted a dog forever but am definitely waiting to get one until L asks for one and the condition will be that he helps to care for it.We do have 2 cats and I feel they are definitely more neglected than before. Especially by me. I make myself feel better by knowing that DH puts more effort than I do.
-
@regberadaisy: I agree. I never ever would have thought i'd love our dog any less, and well... like you said, things are just different. I don't think I love him less exactly. It is just that I derive less pleasure from him. He is more of a chore now than before. But we would never get rid of him.
-
@MsLipGloss: I laugh at the thought of cats ever "barging" in anywhere. I don't imagine cats barging. Maybe sneaking in. But the barge imagine makes me laugh.
So I think the author is someone who probably got her dog as a baby placeholder. Then when she got her baby, she didn't care for the dog so much. You know there are people who treat animals like they are human children. I love dogs with all my heart, but I never will think they are on the same level as human children. I.e., please don't take your dog into Anthropologie. And definately don't take your dog into the grocery store. Unless you are blind, autistic or have epilepsy.
All I know is that I was babysitting my neice once and she threw up all over herself, the floor and me. In the split second where I was, myself, gagging and mapping out my gameplan, my sister's two dogs came running through the throw up and EATING IT. My neice stood there screaming and I threw up in my mouth and thereafter called my mom. The situation would have gone down a lot nicer without the dogs. And one of those dogs I actually really really love.
-
I was crazy dog lady before LO arrived, posted pictures nonstop, she sleeps with us (still), and we would go for walks every day. Now, she is neglected. We try to get her out for a walk, but sometimes don't, she doesn't get the attention she used too, we don't play catch like we used too, we spend our time playing with LO.
BUT I will say it's not that extreme, after LO goes to bed, Finley curls up with me and I scratch her belly and let her cuddle next to me all night. DH woudl get rid of her (for the fact that she has now started to have accidents in the house...pretty sure it is her acting out about hte lack of attention) so we have really been working on showing her affection too. It's hard, never thought I would be that person that lost some love for her pet after chidlren, it breaks my heart a little and make me want to go home and cuddle my pup.
-
@MrsMcD: The barger-in-er is a female Tortie . . . she definitely has what is referred to as Tortie-'Tude!
It's sort of like the *knock and talk* police do . . . only without the knock (obvi) but with lots of talk!
-
@grizz: awwww!!!! Loooove this picture.
We have a Chocolate lab right now, (9 months old) no children yet. I can't imagine this article ringing true to us though. I am the biggest animal lover, and I don't think that will ever change. Granted my priorities will change, but I can't imagine ever thinking that I don't want a dog anymore just because I have a LO.
-
You know what does make me even more sad?
Parents who place their pets before their children! Real.
-
This is not the case in our house. We have 2 dogs and our LO is 14 months. Our LO LOVES one of our dogs and they are BFF's. The other one is older and is my dog. He knows that when LO goes to be it is his snuggle time.
I see it like have another child. there is always room in our home for more love.
-
Our LO is not here yet. I expect the dynamic of our house to change but I do not expect and will not allow for the love of my dog to change. He has helped me through loss and heartbreak and all he asks is for love in return. However, we are fortunate that he is low mantience and just wants to be by us and to cuddle at night when we sleep. This article makes me sad but it was nice to see how many PP were able to continue loving their dog and keeping them a priority.
-
This article made me so sad. How can you say you wish you didn't have a pet?
I understand things will change, and I am prepared for LO to be more important to me than our Dog but I refuse to believe that I will regret having our Lola Lynn.
To me it sounds like this author took the easy way out and justified ignoring her dog because of her kids - rather than taking the time and putting forth the effort to still give her dog proper attention!
-
It's definitely not fair to expect your dog to basically stop acting like a dog just because you have a baby. However, I agree that the timing isn't exactly ideal if you have control over it.
I'd always thought I'd hold off on getting a dog until I had kids who were a bit older, maybe 5 or 6. But my DH already had a 2 year old doxie when we met, so the decision was already made for me - and unfortunately, his family's pattern is to basically not bother training their dogs. His dog and his parent's dogs were used to spending lots of time outside, being locked in their crate whenever people weren't around (which I did with my dog growing up when she was a puppy, but they always had to do it or the dogs would pee/poop/destroy the house), and generally they could get away with anything because "that's just how dogs are." Once I moved in I tried my best to train the dog and teach it that there were limits and it was not the boss of the house...well, it didn't go so well. After a few growls/snaps at the baby and actual bites to both my husband and I, he now lives with my DH's parents.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you so get a dog (well, ever, but particularly when there are kids involved), the dog needs to know that he/she is not the dominant one in the household, because it leads to major problems with them being territorial and aggressive when you have to enforce new rules and/or bring a LO home.
-
I co-sleep with my dog every night. I don't extend the same courtesy to my kid....the dog has it better in some aspects LOL
-
@MsLipGloss: Tortie-Tude is the best name for a cat ever. I can always appreciate a good *tap and rap* by a cat! But Tortie needs to learn to lower her voice.
-
Ah we have a barky little bugger that barks at the doorbell on TV and a 7 month old puppy who is very busy! We are trying to crack down on excessive barking and noise now so I don't lose it when we have a new born!
I am completely obsessed with them, so I know I could never get rid of them unless it was a safety issue.. which I'm sure it won't be since they are so great with kids already.
-
I think the article is a little extreme, but I do agree with it. Every single one of our married friends went out and got a dog 2 years ago, all around the same time. Now - even the ones who don't have kids regret getting their dogs. It's not that they don't love them, they either had kids and realized it is now too much to take care of both, or realized that they should have enjoyed their pre-baby lives a little longer before signing up for the dog commitment.
This is exactly why I was okay with buying a coop apartment in a building that doesn't allow dogs. I love dogs so much that I didn't want to be tempted to get one, since we knew we wanted kids eventually. And even though I love cats, I have absolutely no desire to get one since every single cat I have ever owned or babysat woke me up between 3-4am. Every single morning. And puked all over my furniture or scratched it up every day, despite all of my 'cat whisperer' tricks to get them to stop. Don't get me wrong, I know that not ALL cats do this, but most of them do. And I wouldn't want to take the chance regardless. I just couldn't deal with this while also taking care of a baby.
-
I didn't read all the responses but this has not been our experience at all!!!
We have an 8 year old cat, a 5 year old dog, and a 2 year old dog. They are all GREAT with the baby and are a constant part of our day. Before I got pregnant I worked full time and the girls were crated all day. Now they're out with us all day.
When my son was a newborn we would walk for hours. It was good exercise for me and the dogs and W loved being outside. Now at 16 months old W actually plays fetch with the dogs in the hall.
W starting solids was the happiest day of the dogs' lives cuz they get to clean up after him.
W has never been bothered by their rare barking. Because they've ALWAYS been here he can sleep through it.
My son loves our pets more than anything, just like we do. Obviously he takes priority over them in an emergency situation, but they're a close second!!
-
Had to add pictures....
"Say cheese Tomcat!"
And weirdos snuggling under the end table.
(These were both taken the other day) Our other dog is camera shy, lol.
-
@Navy_Mommy:
-
@MsLipGloss: I know, right? It's crazy that he loves them as much as I do. I could share pictures of them ALLLLLLLLLLLLL day, lol.
The only problem we face is how strong my dog's tail is. There's a reason some people dock American Bulldog's tails when they're puppies!! That shit is dangerous! But our son has learned to avoid her tail or put his arm out to block his face, lol.
-
I don't have pets and I am not an animal person, but I think the general idea of the story is that, yeah, things change and you can't do it all. So if you have to sacrifice something, it ends up being a pet.
-
@FutureMrsMcK: This is what I really want to do. My DH really wanted a dog before we had kids, and I held him off for a few different reasons. I had a feeling I would be pretty overwhelmed with a dog and then introducing a child and feel as if we would be in a better position to provide a loving home to a dog when our children are older. I had a very bad feeling that we would be in this situation if we adopted a dog prior to having LO and am very glad we waited.
-
this is pretty true for us. since lo was born i've had about zero patience for our dogs. i sometimes (often) say "what were we thinking?!" in reference to why we have dogs.
just like we all adjust differently to being moms i think we all handle having pets and lo's differently.
-
@Navy_Mommy: Awwww . . . it's like your LO has found his *ride or die* friends! And yeah, tails can be deceptively tough . . . what a smart little man!
-
@looch: I just really don't think it's hard totake care of your kids AND your pets. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
-
@jmarionsmith: No judgment here mama! Having LOs is just so stinkin' hard! I have done so much adjusting and trying to be flexible that I sometimes feel like a human amoeba, constantly changing shape to *embrace* whatever it is that is in my path!
-
@Navy_Mommy: I have no idea, I don't have pets because I've worked out of the home for the last 15 years and putting a pet in a crate isn't my idea of fun, for either of us!
I think some people handle transitions well and some don't. There's not much more time I can carve out of my day to care for a pet...when you work out of the home and have to contend with picking up your kid, getting dinner on the table, starting the nighttime routine, getting the bags ready for the next morning, walking the dog, playing with the dog....you get where I am going?
-
i think how your pet reacts and their relationship with your children is a big factor.
our cat smokey for instance, is terrified of the kids so she hides all day long and only comes out after she's sure they've both gone to bed. but she's also terrified of coming downstairs (where our bedroom is), so she gets very little time with us.
she also acts out by peeing -- usually on the kids' blankets/bed. and she's ruined more sofas than i can tell you. she is way unhappier now that the kids are here because she used to be the queen of the house.
it's one thing when your pet gets along with your child. but what do you do when your pets and kids don't get along? i do sometimes think that maybe she would just be happier with someone else that didn't have kids. it isn't fair to her.
we'll be moving soon to a one floor layout and hopefully she's happier then when she can sleep with us.
-
I think our pets lives got better when LO arrived. She's the best friend they've ever had. Yeah for a while the dogs walks got shorter, but now they're longer than they ever were and she has a little buddy to roll around with.
This article makes me really sad. -
@looch: but you can spend time with your pet and your child at the same time. They don't have to be separate activities. Dogs like walks... babies like walks too! I get that pets aren't for everyone, but if you loved them BEFORE you had kids I don't understand how that just stops.
My dog is my right hand lady. I've had her since I was in college. I couldn't imagine just losing that love for her because I had a baby (who has grown to love her as much as I do).
-
I hope this isn't true, but for a different reason.
We have a young, high energy dog who is now (finally) growing (ish)out of her puppy energy (we hope). I adore her, but some days, she makes me insane, and I tell her I am going to string her up by her toenails. I fully expect to have my hands full when LO arrives.
But, Boo is important in our house for another reason, too: she helps to keep my depression in check. When I start spiraling, I am usually alone, and the cues from her are often what help me t o break out of the cycle . Her needing to pee forces me to go outside, whicbh is good for me. Her energy often requires a run to get out, which is great for me. Playing with her can almost always make me smile. And if I can't even manage these things on a really bad day, she will curl up next to me until DH gets home. She's not technically a therapy dog, but she is an invaluable member of our family, and I need her just as much as she needs me. I'm sure things will change, but I can't imagine her role being any less, precisely *because* the newborn phase is so hard.
On a lighter note, she *adores*children more than almost anything, and I can't wait to see her with the baby!
-
@Mrs. Bee: I agree with that 100% We were concerned our chi-weenie would be a problem (she's a chihuahua dachshund mix and very particular about who she likes) but she LOVES our son. She avoids other toddlers like the plague but as long as she has a blanket to burrow under she feels safe and never acts out.
-
@Navy_Mommy: Yes, you can in some instances, you're right, but I've seen it numerous times where a baby comes into the picture and the pet is put up for adoption. That's how my brother got his dog, actually. Owners in the city had a baby, didn't have time for the dog, so the dog was put up for adoption.
I guess I am not surprised by the article, that's all. I can totally see how it happens. There aren't always enough hours in the day to do everything we want, so if something has to give, it is the pet. I am not expecting everyone to agree.
-
@Mrs. Bee: This is why we are currently looking for some single or childless folks to take our cats. Both our cats have been acting out horribly since LO was born and nothing is working. I'm pretty sure they hate her.
-
@looch: I agree; everyone's life is different. Everyone's child, pet is different. IF something has to give it's going to be the dog NOT my child.
I'm not advocating people giving up their pets bc we saw BIL do that in haste bc he couldn't be bothered. Not that his dog was a danger to their children and it sickened us.
-
@oliviaoblivia: I so hope this is the case!
-
In this day and age, owners put their dogs on the same level as people. I see posts on my FB newsfeed the likes of, "My animals are my children, get over it." "You don't like my pets, I don't like you." and so on. I don't mean to be judgemental, but it irks me, just a little. I digress, though.
So when couples actually have children, those animals are put and treated on the level they should be; as pets. They're fed, taken to the vet, walked (if need be) and most of all, are loved and cared for. And the owners feel like they're doing a disservice to their pet now. Just because you don't dote on the animal all the time, buy it expensive toys, treats or food, etc. doesn't mean you're a bad owner. All they want is the basics, and if you can provide it, there is nothing wrong with owning a pet when you have small children.
I, for one, am glad that we have 2 dogs that I can teach our future children about; how to properly take care of them, how to treat them and how to love one, so they can understand the joys of owning a PET. -
@mrsjazz: i do think the article is a little extreme, but i do understand her point.
-
I do think this author is a bit dramatic. I know I'm not in the situation yet but I just don't see going from loving something like family to hating it and wishing I never had it. I know lots of families that have dogs when their baby is born and there is definitely an attention shift but not so much where they regret ever having the dog!
-
@DiamondEyes: I think you hit the nail on the head.
I would never give our pup up; she's a part of the family. It's been amazing joy to us seeing our daughter interact with our pup. It is so clear to us that she loves her dearly. We will always be a pet family, I think.
at least they have the dog's best interest at heart. I've wanted a dog forever but am definitely waiting to get one until L asks for one and the condition will be that he helps to care for it.
It's sort of like the *knock and talk* police do . . . only without the knock (obvi) but with lots of talk!
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
100 comments