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@Mrs. Bee: @mrsjazz: We're in a similar situation with an acting-out cat (one of three). I've lost count of how many times and places she's peed (but always on/near LO's stuff or where he plays). And once she scratched him. I almost opened the front door to let her "run away" that night. Ironically, she's also the "friendliest" with him...in that she'll sometimes let him pet her. The other two pretty much just hide, and that's fine.
We've been looking for someone to adopt her...preferably a friend or at least someone we know. I don't want to turn her over to a shelter or something like that, but I'm reaching the end of my rope with her. I never thought I'd be in a position to think about getting rid of a pet, but it's just not okay for me to worry that my kid is playing in a pee-spot on the rug because she's decided to use it as a litter box for the umpteenth time.
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@Mrs. Bee: I agree. I just also think that it IS about how the pet(s) are with the kids. If my cats weren't acting out I wouldn't be trying to find them a new home. But I've exhausted all the options (plug-in hormones, vet visits) and nothing's working. Over this weekend they peed on two of her puzzles and her little bathtub. I just can't anymore.
@FutureMrsMcK: Yeah, we don't want to go the shelter route either.
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one thing I'm most excited about is having both a dog and a baby. We have been saying that we want Tyson (our engligh bulldog) to be a puppy brother soon. I know hes good with kids too - I often have my 3 neices over. Although I suppose he is pretty low maintenance and sleeps all day anyway as it is.
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@mrsjazz: absolutely agree with the pet & child interaction!
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@DiamondEyes: I agree and that's the same feel I got from the writer. Getting poop on his fur = a soothing bath. What is that? She says cutting off the fur like its a bad thing. I'm sure the dog was fine with that.
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@FutureMrsMcK: @mrsjazz: i think cats and dogs are also different.
dogs may be more time consuming on your limited time post kids, but cats can really act out and affect the safety of your child by pooping and peeing everywhere. and i can't even tell you how much furniture (beyond the sofas) our cat has ruined.
i seriously should own stock in nature's miracle!
i don't think our cat will ever get along with our kids because she hates loud fast-moving people. but i think she will be much happier when we move so that at least she can hide in our bedroom.
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Pfft!! Dogs ARE family and the best thing for kids. We have one mega hyper dog who if doesn't get enough exercise will literally tear up the rugs. And our other dog will bite your head off if you try anything wrong. I think it's all about how you raise them and your living situations. We have lots of room for our dogs to run outside and burn off energy. If we were cooped up in a small apartment, then it would be very much troublesome. We would not be 'whole' if we didn't have our pooches.
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@mewtill: No doubt!
The writer is obviously stressed (3 kids and a high energy dog, who wouldn't be?!) and was either looking for sympathy and/or a place to lay it all out, so to say. I think she took the wrong approach, though. Instead of saying "Don't have a dog w/ kids" one could have explained how to handle those stresses better. For example, one comment on the article says that she could, "hire a dog-walker so that the dog can get the exercise it needs." Unfortunately, the writer is beyond that now and got slammed, big time.
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I've def had more moments of irritation with our dogs than before I had kids and they don't get as many runs or outings in, but they still live a really good life and they're good for LO.
I did resent my older dog when LO was really little since I was so tired and he was acting out by pooping in her room and getting into trash and just being a pain and I just didn't have the energy for it. But we all settled back into a groove and adjusted but even though it's different than before LO I still really like that we have dogs.
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@MrsMcD: Totally agree with this sentiment. I think people who use dogs as baby placeholders might be a little more likely to be annoyed by the dog post-baby.
Our dog was never anything more than our pet before baby. We love and care for her correctly, but she's still a dog. She does not sleep with us, isn't allowed on the couch, has a set of rules she is expected to follow and we don't pretend there's some human personality there that isn't (you know, because she's a dog). Therefore she is treated exactly the same with a baby in the house. Sure I hate when she rolls in poop, but I hated that before having a kid. She probably gets more attention now, because our son adores her, actually.
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@BananaPancakes: I agree with all you said! Cheers, friend!
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I honestly can't imagine feeling the way the way the author does about her dog. But then, my dog is pretty low maintenance. She doesn't have accidents in the house, she never throws up, she doesn't get poop in her fur. She needs ~5 minute walks, three times a day. A few times week we have a dog walker. When it's nice out we go for a walk around our neighborhood at night, but she's fine without it. Occasionally we play fetch, but again she's usually fine without it. She also love loves loves little kids, and is super gentle with them.
The thing that makes her most happy is sitting with us at night. She sits on the couch on/next to us, and then lays on our bed while we read/watch tv until she decides it's bed time and goes to her crate.
I took responsibility for her and I am committed to being her forever home, barring any danger to my kids. If things get hard, we'll have to find a way to deal with it.
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@LovelyPlum: your dog sounds amazing!
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@yerpie110: thank you. She's a pretty special girl, and we are really lucky to have her...even when I want to kill her
And yours is so cute!!
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@LovelyPlum: thanks
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I feel like everyone I know with a pre-baby "baby" dog, has felt a measure of truth as depicted by this author. I think her points and feelings might be a little extreme, but every week, I hear someone say how annoyed they are with their pets and/or they need to give their dog away.
Our dog was definitely THE BABY in our house and treated as one. Even our extended family, everyone loves the dog. She's 10+ years now, and I've had her since she was 7 weeks old. I wouldn't give her away and her living arrangements haven't changed at all: she still gets to sleep with us and be on the sofa. We just don't nearly give her even 1/10th of the attention she used to get. Anytime she barks, it will drive me nuts if the baby happens to be sleeping. Her shedding never really bothered me before, but now I'm annoyed by it because it will get on the baby's hands and stuff. I don't think most people in a similar situation would get rid of the dog, but I DO see her point as people getting dog's right before having a baby to "test" if they are ready for kids. Those are ones I often see on FB asking if anyone will take their dog once they have a LO.
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This story is scary and it makes me sad that some can agree with it.
Our dog gets his usual 3-4 walks a day, every single day, no matter the weather (Canada, lol, -15 and beyond we do minimal of course!). He is every bit a pet and not "my baby", doesn't sleep in our bed (never has, he sleeps by the front door), he is a crazy shedder (Golden Retriever), high maintenance (he's the dog that nearly died when he got his vaccines). We still make sure we take him to weekly class to get his work/fun time and since we've had LO he and I have started competing in agility trials. Our daughter adores him, he loves her and I expect the same with future LOs. We've worked hard with him from day 1 when he "moved in" to work with him/train him and make him our perfect dog, and aside from a few hiccups (baseboards chewed, issues with certain other dogs, you know, dog stuff!) he is an amazing addition to our family (pre-LO) and part of our family now that we have had our first baby! When she started crawling, I started vacuuming every day again, the hair on her hands makes me a little nutty, but does it change how our dog is in our lives? We committed to a Golden Retriever, lol, hair and shedding should be their middle name.
I don't get it I guess. I see it in our neighbourhood dogs walked less or whatever, reading it here, but it's just foreign to me how that can happen. I know we're more active dog owners than average, but still. Sorry for seeming so frustrated/passionate about this, but I don't get why things have to change I guess.
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@shopaholic: We have/had a cat (someone else has her right now but she won't go back to the shelter or anything..), not a dog, but I agree with everything you wrote... especially about the fur on the hands. And since we have a cat..cat litter too.
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@googly-eyes: The fur... oh the fur... and cat litter.
I guess basically the author sums up the inevitable. Your priorities as a parent change.
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This article makes me so sad. I love my dog. I need to remember that my dog was my first baby and helped me get through my IF struggle. I know she won't get as much attention as she does now but I hope I remember to give her some love and attention.
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@shopaholic: "I feel like everyone I know with a pre-baby "baby" dog, has felt a measure of truth as depicted by this author."
Like others have said before you I think that's exactly it. If your dog was your "baby" before then you absolutely can see where the author is coming from. If your dog was/is just a "pet" to you then it's baffling to you.
I guess basically the author sums up the inevitable. Your priorities as a parent change.
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