This article honestly makes me really sad. 
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Truth.
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@pui: While I definitely think things change, they don't have to change into that. I am not judging the author, but that's not what I have experienced.
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I used to nanny for a family where I'm pretty sure the dad liked the dog MORE than the kids...
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sniff. i have heard about this.
i was wondering, in people's experience, does the dog's status fall as the child gets older? right now LO is 6 months old and we've been able to maintain a pretty good level of care/attention on our dogs, but i don't know if that will change as LO grows up and requires more active attention.
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Awwww.
We make a huge point of walking Max everyday, getting him special toys, but he has been more neglected in the past few weeks.
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@MsLipGloss: would love to hear more about your experience, since i feel like one hears about dogs getting kicked to the curb a lot. it would be nice to know there are families that are able to find balance!
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@Espion: Yeah, it's not the same (we have two kitties). But I work hard to integrate the kitkats into LO's routine--and she LOVES them . . . best.things.ever!--and I do what I can to spend time with them when LO is sleeping. Priorities have shifted, but the kitties are still on the (short!) list!
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Boo! That's awful and not my experience. I still love our dog. Yes he can be a nuisance, but he was a nuisance before the baby :). Sometimes he misses a walk, but husband and I argue over who gets to take the walk and get a break from the house/baby.
I think the author isn't being very responsible when she says don't get a dog. Maybe "don't let your dog be the center of your universe" is better. We've always just cut the poop fur off our pup
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@edelweiss: it's been the opposite for us. Now that LO is older (15 months) we are able to give the dog much more attention. But honestly, I've been ashamed to admit this, her status is low on the totem pole. Before LO there was only the pup. Now there is the LO whom our lives revolve around. Then. It's the pup.
Don't get me wrong, I still love our pup. But my feelings towards her is completely different now. She's no longer my "baby". We know she's not top dog any more and try to make up for it. But it's hard when you work FT and a baby requires so much of your attention.
I agree with pp that telling people not to get a dog is probably irresponsible. Lo LOVES our pup. LOVES her. To the point where the pup gets annoyed sometimes. hehehe. We will never ever EVER get rid of our pup unless she was aggressive towards her. And there is only a 1% chance of that happening.
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It's so true.
I know a couple who just added a third dog to their family. Then, they got pregnant. I really don't know how they are going to do it. One of our dogs passed away recently and I was sad but I think I was also extremely relieved she was no longer around because she had to go outside every two hours, she had to sleep in the bed or she would poop or pee or both on the floor. She pooped and peed on the floor weekly. Always on carpet.
It's okay for a baby to do this. It is not okay for a dog to do this, especially once a baby arrives.
We have really cut off a lot of our last dog's luxuries since our other dog passed. No more sleeping on the bed, no more going out all the time (what, I forgot to take you out between 7am and 7pm? Thank you for not peeing in the house...pat pat, treat).
I could never "get rid" of our animals but man, life would be SO MUCH EASIER if they weren't here....
I don't want a dog when our daughter is old and moving out either, though. I want to be able to travel and go at a moment's notice. You can't do that with a dog. You also don't realize how much dogs cost until after the baby comes and sucks up all your fun money you could allocate to that $1200 vet bill when the dog eats a bag of dark chocolate...
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@edelweiss: I do things like feed the kitkats at the same time that LO is eating. But really, the cats have really made an effort to be part of LO's life . . . they hang out with LO while she is in the tub, they come into her nursery when she is playing (and lay down right in the middle of her toys as if they are saying *Come At Me Bra!*), they sleep under her crib and sit under her highchair . . . I try to make sure she doesn't mangle them too badly (we are working on our loving touches . . . ). Sometimes they meow and *yodel* excessively and it can be annoying, but they are still very much part of the family. At night, they still sleep in our bedroom (one usually tries to sleep on me or at least near me), and when I don't have LO, I chase them around the house like a madwoman (DH does too).
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Such a sad, but truthful article. I have to get rid of one of my dogs... not because I don't love him anymore, but because he's a liability and is constantly growling and snapping at my daughter. Things change when you have kids. It hurts to say that, but it's definitely been my experience.
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@MsLipGloss: I agree. Our dogs definitely get less attention than pre-kids, but we were pretty obsessive dog owners pre-kids. Now our dogs get the amount of attention that... dogs get.
We got small dogs that don't require a lot of exercise because we knew we wanted kids someday. I think Wagon Sr. would have been ok with incorporating a large dog's exercise routine with babies, but I was not. When our kids are older and we have a yard, we will consider large dogs.
Our dogs are high shedding and they bark whenever anyone walks by our house (which is often). Both are a nuisance but we deal with them accordingly. Lots of brushing and vacuuming, keeping the dogs out of the top floor of our house, and moving them to the basement or the porch if we know the baby will be sleeping when the dogs could potentially bark (you can't hear the barks in the kids' bedrooms from those two spots).
I think the author's statement is pretty radical. To command someone to not get a dog if you want kids (or to not have kids if you have a dog) is pretty severe. We have two kids and two dogs and I wouldn't have it any other way. I think she makes it pretty clear in the sentence where she states that it's not that she doesn't love her dog, it's that she doesn't love her dog. That's the bottom line... she doesn't love her dog. Luckily for her, it looks like Velvel will die soon (age 13 and having health issues which she's clearly not willing to handle). Really really sad for Velvel though.
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@BabyBoecksMom: Yeah, we've been really lucky that there hasn't been any aggressive behavior to deal with . . . that is so so hard! I am sorry that you are going through it! ((hugs))
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Some of that is some really sad truth. I LOVE our dogs to bits, but the aggrevation they cause is sometimes too much to handle. Dog hair, scratched floors, more dog hair, accidents. Ugh. Our dogs do still sleep in bed with us at night though. That is their time.
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I do admit that my attention to our furbabies is not the same as pre-baby, but we still couldn't imagine our lives without them and don't ever wish that we hadn't!
They've adjusted really well to the baby and aside from the occassional bark at the mailman, they're accomodating to the baby and our new life
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This article really, really makes me sad. I don't think it has to be that way though, and I'm going to work hard when the baby gets here to ensure that they get attention too.
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@edelweiss: in my experience, the amount of attention has grown as the kids got older. I basically recruited people to come over and spend time with our dogs when our kids were newborns because I knew we wouldn't have the time or energy to do so. After the kids started sleeping through the night, post bedtime is now puppytime. And obviously the attention the kids pay the dogs (and how the dogs entertain the kids!) adds to all the fun for everyone.
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I completely disagree with the article. The dogs may be lower on my priority list but they are very well loved. We go for walks every night (well, with the pup, our older one is restricted because of a back problem). The kids play ball with them and give them treats. In fact when our beagle died we added another dog to our family. This article just leaves me feeling so sad for that pup.
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My pets have definitely gone down in priority as well, but I still love my cat and dog to pieces.
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Unfortunately this article is pretty much truth for us, although we have cats. Our cats are not fans of LO. I stopped showing the cats as much attention while I was pregnant, but DH continues to show them the same amount of attention. The problem is that they don't like LO and look at her as an intruder. They are both acting out to the point that we are currently looking for new homes for them. One cat poops everywhere but her litter box and the other cat pees on LOs stuff (her playmat, her splatmat, books, etc.) We've now had to close off certain rooms in our already small apartment to them.
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@mrs. wagon: I feel like some young couples with dogs and no kids give excessive amounts of attention to their dogs. Then, when babies come around, those things aren't doable anymore so they feel guilty. But, really, I don't think a dog "needs" all the extra attention. They need shelter, food, exercise, and some love. I haven't found it difficult to keep providing those to our dog.
@BabyBoecksMom: I think it's a different story if a dog becomes a liability and aggressive to children and can't be trained through it. I think the author is just more annoyed that she has to take care of the dog AND her children.
Caring for a dog is a big responsibility! It makes me sad that people think they *can't* care for a dog if they have a child. If you only ever had one kid, would the author suggest not having a 2nd? Because, by her logic, the 1st kid wouldn't get the same level of attention as they did before the 2nd kid came along.
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I think my BIL/SIL did it right--they had wanted a dog for years but waited almost 15 years to get one, until their kids were 5 and 7. The dog they have now still gets less attention than the boys, but it's easier for my SIL to take her out for runs every day and for the kids to help care for/love on her. She certainly get more attention now than she would had they had her before they had kids/when their kids were infants (especially since my oldest nephew was born at 30 weeks).
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LO is 6.5 months, our pup is almost 4 years (and we've had him since he was 8 months), and that hasn't been our experience, personally. Have we forgotten to feed our dog once or twice? Sure. Do we take him to the groomer's more frequently b/c I don't have time to maintain him? Sure. Does he have the occasional vomit or accident? Sure. Does he bark when he hears the door while the baby is sleeping sometimes? Sure. Does that mean he is loved any less or gets any less attention? Nope.
Maybe it's b/c he's pretty easy going, not too needy, is not aggressive at all, and really just likes to sleep all day. He's happy having someone in the home at all times (since we have a nanny and not daycare), content to lay next to me wherever I am when I'm home (he does not care at all if I'm holding/playing/feeding the baby), and all he really wants is to eat the food she drops and sleep in our bed at night, which he is still allowed (we do not co-bed with baby).
IMO, I don't agree with the author's overall sentiment. I think it's perfectly possible to have a dog and a baby without regretting the presence of the pet.
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@yerpie110: and your pup is so cute!! who couldn't love that little doggy face?!
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This article rings pretty true for me. I still love my dog, and would never get rid of him unless there was a safety issue. But my patience for him is pretty much zero. When I spend half an hour getting a cranky teething baby down for a nap and then a doorbell rings ON THE TV and my dog barks like crazy and wakes her up it sucks. It sucks a lot.
Or when I just had a baby and I was exhausted and overwhelmed by life. And then I found out I needed to spend three THOUSAND dollars on effing ACL surgery for the DOG. That sucked a lot too.
The good news for the pup is that my husband is still obsessed with him so he gets plenty of hugs and love.
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I don't think this is true at all. Mine is a cat experience, but I've had Jewel for years before I had DS. Having him just added to my heart and didn't take anything away from any animals. I believe it'll be the same with the dogs when I bring another baby home.
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IMHO she sounds like a complete flake who probably shouldn't have been allowed to have a dog in the first place.
While our dogs have it pretty good right now their lives aren't going to suddenly become inconsequential or a burden when LO arrives.
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@mewtill: aw thanks
he gets by on his looks!
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Its true for us. Sigh.
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@MamaMoose: The kitties have barged into the nursery a few times when I was putting LO down and of course she woke up and I had to start all.over.again. Sometimes it is all I can do at the end of the day to make it to the kitchen for a glass of wine. Or two. Or a bottle. I digress.
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@MsLipGloss: Can you move to TN so we can meet in the kitchen for that bottle of wine please?
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I hope it doesn't have to be like that. I love my dogs so much.
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Before LO arrived I would have sworn to high heaven nothing will ever change my feelings towards my pup. And trust me I read up plenty on it.
She will always be a part of our family but things are just different.
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@pui: That article isn't true at all in our house
I've always got one of the yorkies at my side while I nurse and our yellow lab mix gets more smiles out of DS than anybody in this house! Having a baby has actually given us a new appreciation for our dogs because they are so awesome with DS. They watch me like a hawk when I do anything he dislikes, like bath time or tummy time. They consider themselves bodyguards!
Case in point: -
@MamaMoose: Hahaha - I would love to! My firm does have an office there . . . !
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@grizz: Omg STOPIT. The love/care that is coming from your pup pup's eyes is tremendous!
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I think a lot of it depends on how high maintenance your pets are. We have a cat and she is super chill/low-maintenance. Most of the time she keeps to herself and wants nothing to do with us (she's also really old, so I think that has something to do with it). I can see how this article would be total truth if your pets are hyper/high-maintenance.
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Also, I'm sure how easy or high maintenance your pup is played into it as well! My LO was high needs, a crap sleeper / napper. I work Ft on minimal sleep so my tolerance threshold was low in the beginning!
We make a huge point of walking Max everyday, getting him special toys, but he has been more neglected in the past few weeks.
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