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How everytime he opens the dishwasher he has to ask me if the dishes are clean or dirty. Can you not tell by looking at them?
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How he thinks the floor is the clothes hamper, which is about ten feet away. And why he piles dirty dishes on the counter... *right* above the dishwasher. And never rinses them. But is obsessed about everything else being clean/organized. What?!
@NCSUchick27: same!!
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I just wanted to chime in and say that according to these I'm basically a man. Minus the surround sound, sleeping and watching TV at the same time and bathroom time, I'm guilty of most of these. Some days I marvel at the fact that I am still married, because I put empty boxes back, leave clutter, don't push in my drawers, put things in the "wrong" place in the kitchen, etc
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@PrincessBaby: +1 Dh just installed a Bose system for our 3d theatre area in the basement. Shakes our entire house when he's watching a movie, I swear!
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@owlteach: I was thinking the same thing! Though my DH is guilty of falling asleep in front of the TV and then claiming that it's too early to go to bed.
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@owlteach: me too! Ha!
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One thing that baffles me about my DH is that he hates clutter, likes things orderly, and is *very* particular about how to load the dishwasher. And yet it's like he's blind to actual dirt. He wants to constantly straighten up but would never think to actually clean.
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I sold high end home theater systems for many years. So I'm a total speaker snob and one of the people that gives demos to convince people that they're awesome and make a huge difference. Sorry ladies! Haha. My DH woukd flip if he found out how much our system is worth...we have Definitive Technology floor standing speakers w/built-in subwoofers and bipolar technology, matching rears and center channel, and a receiver with AirPlay and the best audio decoders. Nerd alert, I know! Haha.
The only one of these my DH really does is looking past shit he's looking for that's right in front of his face. This applies to our house (where are the wipes? IN THE SAME SPOT AS ALWAYS! Nope, don't see them, we must be out.) or the grocery store (they must be out of *insert item they're never out of*, I didn't see any.)
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My husband is the worst at reading people, having conversations or hearing words that are said right to him, while he is looking at you. It has been making for some challenging times lately.
Take this as an example:
"I can take care of the kids tomorrow so you can go to the office."
"I guess I will have to email people to see if they can come in on Sunday instead."
.....
ERMAHGAWD.
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@woodentulip: OMG YES THIS. I don't know how I blanked on it. Sometimes I will literally stop talking in the middle of a sentence to see if he is actually listening and paying attention.
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@owlteach: @daniellemybelle: Me too! Whoops. I was thinking my DH would have a lot to say about me in a spinoff thread!
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@Chuckles: Oh my husband is like that! He thinks "clean" means neat. He is totally oblivious to actual dirt.
@owlteach: I actually hesitated to respond to this because it's fundamentally sexist. I think it would be better if it was "things I will never understand about my SO." But it's too fun of a thread to stand on principal.
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@Torchwood: Ha! I had the same internal struggle but I'm going to go for it too.
The hamper thing that a couple people mentioned! He always leaves his clothes RIGHT in front of the hamper. So close and yet so far.
Also, dressing DD. No matter how many times I've explained that opaque tights cannot replace pants, that's almost always his go to. I think he's drawn in by the pants + socks combo.
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I will say my husband doesn't close drawers and cupboards, which I just find bizarre.
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Also, I just want to know why he leaves recyclables on the stove when the bin is 10 feet away? MADNESS.
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I have to chime in that I definitely love our theater surround sound just as much as DH does.
I love watching movies on it and it makes me feel like we don't need to spend money seeing stuff in the theater when we can have that great an experience at home. I also love playing music on it when I'm cooking or we're just hanging out.This thread is hilarious though. My DH would be guilty of a lot of this if left to his own feral ways, but I give him a lot of credit for the years we've been living together that he's put in a ton of effort to keep the house clean, keep his dirty clothes under control, know where everything is in the kitchen, etc. He knows what's going to drive me crazy.
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I love reading these! He leaves the cabinet doors open every morning. How hard is it to close a cabinet door after you open it.
He will be passed out on the couch, snoring away, but if I get up or change the channel, he is up immediately....Yet he can sleep through our daughter screaming on the monitor -
The ribbed "beater" undershirts. WHY?!?!
I've learned that I am half man and my husband has been well trained...lol. Thank you, US Army
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@Chuckles: YES! DH hates clutter, but doesn't notice dust or dirt.
@NCSUchick27: @MrsKMM: we bought magnet for the outside of the dishwasher that says clean / dirty and you flip it whichever way. This has solved some of our dishwasher problems!
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@Torchwood: this! AND he proceeds to complain about how it's not a very intuitive organizational system and I'm like "ok buddy, how often are you actually in here cooking?!"
@avivoca: Gah! This too! How hard is it to stick a can or bottle in the recycling bin, especially since we have a teeny tiny kitchen, nothing is more than 3 steps away!
Why can't he close the wardrobe door after taking something out? It drives me nuts. I make him get out of bed and close it because I cannot have the wardrobe doors open all night!
Basically, I think my husband would be a slob without me around.
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Guys... I think I might be your husband...
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@wonderstruck: I call the inability to see/find things "boy eyes". Like "stop using your boy eyes the tape is right there!" I can't get over the inability to find things when they are right there.
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I love these! I love our fancy stereo system so I have nothing to say about that, but will chime in with another similar issue. My husband is incapable of "a place for everything and everything in its place." He is constantly "putting things away" but his idea of putting something away is to put it in the nearest junk bowl, drawer, cabinet or closet regardless of where it belongs or whether it makes sense for it to be there. He can NEVER find ANYTHING! Shoes, keys, checkbook, wallet, kitchen implements, guitar picks, cups, socks, etc are all equally likely to be found in the pantry, living room junk drawer, basement man room shelves, too drawer of dresser in the bedroom....you get the idea. Makes me insane, because I can never find the things I need and he's constantly accusing me of moving his stuff when he can't find it (2-3 times a day!)
I put the fear of God into him about baby stuff and made a highly detailed map of where every baby item goes, so mostly that stuff ends up where it belongs. Mostly.
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@Banana330: hahaha - my family likes to say "look like a girl!" Aka, move thing around when you're looking for something, don't just glance!
DH is waaay neater than I am in general.
He does the same problems of stupid loud TV, leaving cabinet doors open, and putting dirty clothes on the floor right next to the hamper... :sigh: -
@wonderstruck: Yes! It kills me every time I ask him to get something from the pantry and his method is to simply stand in front of it and look in. If he doesn't immediately see it, we "must be out." And then he's amazed when I move a few cans/boxes and find it.
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@jhd: our dishwasher has a red LED display that says "clean" and he still asks if the dishes are clean. I'm like "OPEN THE DOOR. LOOK WITH YOUR EYES. DO THEY LOOK CLEAN?"
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: oh my! DH never had a dishwasher growing up and we have only had one as a couple since we bought our house a year ago. So I have attributed all of our dishwasher issues to that, but it sounds like it's a more common problem than I thought!
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@torchwood: argggh #2. DH insists he doesn't know where things go/where to look for things. Drives me nuts!
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DH is definitely the clean/organized one. He calls me "hurricane crystal" when I'm getting ready in the morning. Oops!
The one thing he does that drives me batty is expect me to have a running list in my head of how much we have left of all food/cleaning items. The worst is when he will ask me if we have something I don't use, like lunch meat (I'm a vegetarian). I don't know dude, was there any left last time you made a sandwich? How am I supposed to know?
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I don't know that I want to tar all members of the same sex with the same brush but the things I don't get about *my* man are:
- His ability to completely ignore me almost every time I speak, but pretend he's listening, and then get mad if I suggest he is not.
- Why everyone else's driving/parking makes him so furious
- How he manages to hurt himself - stubbing his toe, twisting his ankle, tripping over the stair gate - every time I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do (cue huge, accusatory tantrum)
- What is so damn interesting on that phone that he needs to stare at it 16 hours a day
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I remember a conversation shortly after DH and I moved in together. It was about dirty lunch dishes in the sink as it got close to dinner time. I expressed frustration, and he replied, "we're just going to have more dirty dishes soon anyway." While that was exactly my point, I realized that we reacted to/interpreted that piece of information in totally opposite ways.
Him: There are about to be more dishes, so why bother dealing with these now?
Me: There are about to be more dishes, so I'd better get these take care of!I think about that moment a lot when we are having those "you make no sense to me" interactions.
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@Mrs Hedgehog: I'm some of these husbands too, lol. If I had a dollar for every time my husband nagged me about leaving pop cans everywhere or not putting my clothes in the hamper...haha.
I love watching movies on it and it makes me feel like we don't need to spend money seeing stuff in the theater when we can have that great an experience at home. I also love playing music on it when I'm cooking or we're just hanging out.
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