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I know I’ve had a super hard time and I have two kids and no disability fo contend with, so I can’t imagine with your situation. I’m sorry it sucks so much. What is the extent of your DH’s disability? Or rather I guess what is he able to do without much help from you? I totally feel you I’m not having energy to do much. The first week I was like ok let’s do this and that and whatnot but now time has dragged on and I cannot be bothered. It’s a depressive tendency of mine for sure.

I’ve found my older son who is 5.5 is also becoming more moody and emotional the more this goes on. The saving grace is his little brother, but also we got some of his school friends on Facebook messenger. They just mess around with the filters and giggle at each other basically but it helps to see them. I just texted the parents to ask and add them as I’m not friends with any of them on Facebook.

What is your DS into? We are a big car household so we brought out the car road rug and play that a lot and it doesn’t require any physical effort from me other than sitting. Painting, play doh and craft kits are also good with my older and again I just have to sit with them. What about games? Matching, go fish, trouble, snakes and ladders, spot it jr are good. Reading as much as we can of some longer chapter books.

I honestly don’t know how anyone who is working is getting anything done so know that you’re not alone and you are doing your best. It just sucks and there’s no way around it.

Right there with you, and I have an older kid (6) and a husband who's fully engaged and supportive so I can only imagine how much harder is it for you. I was talking with a friend who's a mom of an only kid as well and she was saying the same thing, maybe it would be easier if our kids had siblings, but then I hear from friends who have multiple kids how hard it is to balance everyone's wants and needs and fighting, so it really just sucks for everyone all around. Not sure if it would help in your situation but I literally started making a by-the-half-hour schedule for my household, listing out what everyone is doing in that time, and put things like "10 AM - kid and mom play time; 10:30 - kid schoolwork, dad helps, mom on a work call" etc, so that everyone had roles and time frames to follow. It's been helping DH know when he's needed and when I have it covered, it helps kiddo know that sometimes mom and dad will be there to play but other times it's her time to play on her own, etc. It's not perfect by any means, but it's something. Lots of love to you!

@macintosh: our company has had a lot of discussions about flexible schedules. For example it normally does updates on Saturday and some systems may be down. Instead they’ve asked it move its updates to Sunday, so employees can flex to work Saturdays. There’s also discussion about working earlier or later and making a point to use pto during this period too.

With all that said, I do basically agree with you that this is all impossible. My husband and I both have 3 hours of meetings/lectures this morning and our kids (5 and 3) are currently on your 2 of watching episodes of doc mcstuffins.

@macintosh: So sorry to hear you are struggling with so many things at once.

I work in a very similar field and I have reduced/shifted my hours. We have 4 kids at home (2x3, 5 & 7 years old) and working while they are about is nearly impossible. While every now and then I can be on a call; I cannot work normal hours. Luckily we have the possibilty to split our time. So I take the early shift with the kids and do the schoolwork and my husband takes over midday and I work until it's time for dinner. While I normally work 32 hours I currently work more like 25. Basically all my work gets done nevertheless so that work is fine with it for now. Have you asked whether they could accomodate you for now? And maybe you could work in three blocks: Early when your DS is still sleeping (don't know obviously how early he gets up), then during the day and then again after he is in bed and only field super important emails and calls in the time inbetween? The last part is how I handle my work in the mornings, so basically I have no PC just my phone.
Hope all this rambling makes sense...

I am so sorry you’re going through this. If I put myself in your shoes I feel so anxious and overwhelmed. And I also cannot work when I feel like that. That is a tough age - where they want to stay busy with activities but still need a lot of help (thinking of how my son wanted to do LEGO sets but would get so frustrated and need me for every other piece). I agree with the posters above that you’re doing great and take it one day at a time. Glad your brother can come and help - that will be amazing!

In the meantime, does your son nap / rest? We have mandatory “rest” for my 4 year old. She is allowed to bring stuffed animals and books in bed and do whatever she wants in there from about 12:30-2ish but she has to stay in and be quiet. Occasionally she even falls asleep. Staying in for a nice long rest could earn a game of Wii with you after dinner or whatever works for your schedule.

Other ideas that keep/ kept my kids busy independently at that age:
Hot Wheels
Magnatiles
Workbooks / dot to dots

Things he may be able to do with your husband:
challenges like: “ten jumping jacks then run and touch the wall” + your husband times him on his phone like a stopwatch. My son wants to do this all the time.

20 questions types of guessing games like “I’m thinking of something in our house...”

I also like the NYT article that’s out there right now about how extra screen time is not going to be harmful!!

Fully realize it still takes *your* time to present these ideas and try to get everyone organized and doing them so it may not work out. I really really really hope things get better soon. ️

May is so soon. You can make it until May!!
And now I'm going to borrow your thread for my own mini meltdown: our daycare center is opening the day the stay at home order lifts. There is no way I can run my classroom of toddlers and help my own children with distance learning at the same time. No way. There's also no way that our administration will be able to take adequate precautions. We're just going to be shepherding the second wave.

@macintosh: i'm sorry. this is such an impossible situation. i'm not sure if this would be an option for you, but mommyshorts posted on instagram today about using sittercity to hire someone to do homework with her 1st grader over video chat while she was on conference calls.

Aw, hang in there!! I have an only child (son) too, and I think you can let go of the guilt about that. It might be nice to have a sibling to play/fight with, but your son also has had the benefit of so much attention and conversation and care from you. xx