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I think you should just put your kid in school when they seem socially ready to be there. I have a late birthday (October) and was borderline for my school district. My mom was talked into waiting a year to have me start even though she thought I was academically and socially ready to go.
All that happened was I was really bored by the time I got to school because at that point I was ahead of the other kids. I ended up skipping a grade so I was the youngest in my class. It was fine. It always seemed weird to me when kids were 19 in high school!
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I was on the fence about this before LO was born. Now that she's here, I have no reservations red shirting her if she isn't quite ready for school. But I would never do it just so she can get ahead. I think there's a big difference between fitting in vs. trying to use age as an advantage. If I knew my LO would be struggling to catch up, then I'd definitely red shirt. Thankfully, I don't think we'll have that problem.
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I would not red shirt. I want my late Dec baby to start kindergarten at 4!
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@autumnlove: ditto! We will have the youngest kids in the class!
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I'm confused. Can someone explain to me what sports this would be for? Maybe this is more a US thing for school Basketball and Football?
I'm in Ontario, and no matter the grade the sport one plays (outside of school) is done by year of birth, so to do it for sports here would be foolish -we don't have the strong "school" sports though, compared to US. Most strong athletes would train and participate outside of school where holding back a student their grade in school would have no benefit.
Maybe I'm missing something or this is a US thing?
I'm a Feb baby and remember some of my Oct-Dec friends staying back for a 2nd year of Gr. 12 not feeling ready to do university at 17, but that was about it!
My Oct baby will start school at age 3. That.is.crazy to me. I have/am considering her starting in SK instead (the next year but she'd still be same age as classmates just didint do JK with them) buuuut leaving that to see her readiness when she gets there.
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@autumnlove: do you have to have her tested for that?
C has a late October birthday, so she will almost 6 when school starts. Our cutoff date is September 1.
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: I think our district guidelines only allows Sept-Nov babies to test for an early start and December babes are out of luck.:-( I don't think my kid is super advanced..I just want kids in the same calendar year to have the chance to start together!
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@autumnlove: if we had that option, we may actually consider it.. Right now we don't!
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@littlek: this.
Her reasoning (sports) isn't valid enough for me to make that choice, but I am not against the concept as a general concept. I will assess E when we get to that point. We have plans to do pre-school (3-4) and pre-k (4), so he will *probably* be ready for K without waiting. But who knows..
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@autumnlove: I want my November baby to start Kindergarten at 4 too...of course if she doesn't seem ready at the time I won't send her, but as as an almost 2 year old we get asked if she's turning 3
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@autumnlove: that makes sense about wanting them with the same calendar year kids
@TurtleDoves: true. I think athletic talent will be there regardless of age and unfortunately, some parents push their kids into sports that they hate. So redshirting for that reason was surprising.
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@Beebug: any sport really is done by grades not by the year they were born (at least in my area)
So a 12 year old boy in 5th grade might be more physically advanced and aware of a game (football, soccer, baseball, etc) than a 10/11 year old.
Honestly, I think it's kind of competitive, unfair to other children and silly!
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@Beebug: school sports are by grade. Other sports are by age or year born. My brother plays Academy soccer in a league associated with the MLS which goes by birth year. Other leagues go by a cut off date though, not a whole year. So, everything is different. Yet another reason not to redshirt for the sole purpose of getting ahead in sports.
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My MIL had two August babes in a school district with a Sept 1st cutoff, and of the two, one was e "redshirted", and the other was not. BIL was the oldest and she sent him on time. DH she held back a year. She didn't do it for sports advantage, or because she thought he'd have any advantage over his classmates. BIL, who is 5 years older than DH, was exceptionally confident and did well in both sports and academics despite being one of the youngest in his class. He didn't suffer at all.
MIL held DH back a year because she didn't feel he was ready, academically or socially, and his pre-K instructors agreed. DH is also both very intelligent (one of the smartest people I know) and very athletic. The only downside he can point to be held back is that he was a year older than most of his friends.
E has an August birthday, and the cut-off here is Sept 1st, and while I don't think we'll hold E back, we're not set in a decision either way. If we do, it won't be because we think it will give him an advantage in sports or academics, but because we don't feel he's ready for kindergarten. We're going to wait and see how he's developed by then.
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I'd consider it but mostly for social reasons. I work as an SLP in elementary schools and have seen kids (more boys than girls) who end up repeating kindergarten because they just aren't emotionally ready to move on to 1st grade where more independence is expected. They would have benefited from being "redshirted." I do no support redshirting solely as a way to gain an advantage for sports. That is just plain wrong in my opinion.
I have a February birthday so I was always one of the older kids. It didn't really bother me. Honestly, no one really noticed until high school when we all started to get driving permits and licenses. DH, on the other hand, started kinder at 4 so he was 17 when he went away to college. He admits it himself, he was way too immature to be in college at 17 and definitely didn't take it seriously. Looking back, my MIL wished she'd had held him back since he just wasn't quite ready from a social/emotional perspective. What can you do though? Hindsight is always 20/20. And he turned out more than just fine.
Either way, it's a tough call. I can see both sides but having had experience working in elementary education, I can see the benefits. It really must be on a case by case basis though...no one size fits all policy. I'm sure there will be extensive conversations if any of our kids birthdays hover around the cut off.
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