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We have done A LOT of travel with our kids, and the only time it has been even remotely relaxing is when we got an Air bnb at a lake house in Maine for 3 days. LO ran around in the yard and explored and we relaxed. We did a little hiking, but mostly just being at the house was THE BEST! We had a 4 month old too, and it was truly the easiest vacation we have ever done. We are renting a beach house for a week this summer with some friends that have the kids the same ages as ours and we are really really excited about that. Basically, making it as much like home as possible.

Also, really low expectations. Definitely that.

For us, the key is bringing things for my son to do. I can't expect him to be satisfied sitting in a lounge chair reading a magazine...yet! We've had lots of success at pools lately, so if there is a pool, that's a good few hours of the day spent right there. And I happen to love the water too!

The other thing is for us to do kid centered activities. Do I want to be at the Kids Museum of Science? Not really, but they have activities for the kids and what not.

My advice would be to go with the flow - no rushing off to get somewhere at a certain time - try to have a "we will get there when we get there" attitude.

If you want to go out to eat go early and beat the crowds or feed DD before you go

I also have a 2.5 year old and I'm pregnant, and we're going to the Cape on vacation in a couple weeks. We are going with family, which works fine for us because they are helpful. My parents will baby sit no problem if needed.

And basically my plan is to go to a couple of my favorite bayside beaches, where the water is like 6 inches or less for a mile out. We'll set down some chairs, bring a bunch of sand toys, and let DS run around. Pools are more stressful to me because they're a bigger drowning hazard. But I love the bayside beaches, particularly at low tide. All I want this vacation is to RELAX, lol.

@catlady: also we stayed at a little "resort" on little lake squam in NH last summer and it was really fun. I'm not sure I would recommend that specific place- the beds were not comfortable and really squeaky, which isn't good when sharing a room with LO and pregnant, but the idea of someplace on a lake that has a kayak you can borrow, tiny beach, picnic tables, was really nice. We rented a motor boat for a half day and C loved it. She would wake up really early so I let her watch her iPod on the deck while I say and he coffee. Normally I never let her watch something first thing like that, because then she would want it every morning when she wakes up, but vacation rules.

@catlady: for me, other than the thing you already mentioned (getting a suite-style room), the most stressful thing about travel with kids is food: where to get it, what's family friendly, and open at the right times, and close enough. For me, having a hotel with either a restaurant on premises or a small kitchenette is imperative. It's hard to eat 3 meals out a day.

The best are the family friendly suite hotels with a pool, a breakfast buffet, etc. I'm totally not a snob when it comes to travel with kids--now I'd much rather stay at a budget hotel with free breakfast and a suite than a fancy hotel with no kid friendly restaurants and all of us in one room.

Other than that--if you are going to a particular place like lake or beach--proximity. Staying at a hotel 4 blocks from the beach feels really really far when you have a kid with a nap schedule, that needs to pee, that needs a snack. Staying at a hotel directly on the beach is so much better.

@Anagram: oh yeah- a kitchenette at least! And bring things you know she always eats- for us that was flavored yogurt and cereal, microwaveable macaroni and cheese, cheese sticks, and pouches. We mostly went out for one meal a day, ate breakfast at our hotel room, and grilled since the resort had communal ones to use and we don't have one in the city.

These aren't budget friendly but they work:
- suite style room or two connected rooms and leave the door ajar. Balcony if you can so you can sit out and enjoy the night!
- this is a big splurge but we did it once and it was fabulous - we went to a resort with our own private plunge pool off of our room. So during his naps we still had pool time.
- a resort with babysitter services. We went to one with a kids club where we could drop him off and go to the pool or beach alone. Heavenly!
- allow some of your rules to go out the window. It's vacation I'm a stickler about bedtime and at the time of our last trip I was crazy about him not having sweets. I relaxed a little on those and I think it truly was a treat for him to indulge a little in later bedtime (I'm talking a half hour) and ice cream. And iPad And it bought us some time to relax a little more because he was content.

@catlady: also, I just want to say that while traveling with toddlers kind of sucks, I am really glad we went on our little vacation last summer as a family of three. She sort of remember pieces of it and I remember it fondly.

We are all about condos or home rentals with a room or at least a large walk in closet or a spare bathroom for DS to sleep in - however keep in mind the closets don't have vents so if it's hot it will be warmer in there. We like limiting going out to eat to once a day or less. We bring our FP booster because he can squirm out of restaurant seats. We bring disposable placemats that stick to the table and disposable bibs, a straw cup of milk (he makes a mess of fast food straw cups), a banana, fruit, crackers, and a pouch or two and a packet of baby wipes in a lunch bag and start feeding him immediately because he can't wait the 20 minutes it takes to get the food out.

We stay at properties with washer dryer in unit, a full kitchen, a pool, and proximity to a beach or lake. Last summer we rented a mountain cabin in a resort community that had its own rec center with play ground and pool and what not. And they had private beach access at the lake. So we had a nice house, ate meals at home, took DS to the rec center or lake and took nice stroller walks through the neighborhood in the fresh mountain air and looked at deer. And it was 2.5 hours from home so perfect distance for nap time. When we did Hawaii we had a pool at the condo, an enclosed balcony he could run around on, and we were across the street from the beach. It made keeping him occupied between naps super easy, but the flight there was a beast.

I think lengthwise, driving distance under 4 hours and 3-4 days away is ideal. We also do treats like a Dum Dum or ice cream once a day while we are on vacation - he's running around everywhere and more active anyway so he burns the sugar off.

If it's hot I would research local children's museums, baby gyms, play cafes, and aquariums, which we have also done on trips. Those are particularly good places to send grandparents if you take family and then you can rest.

Another fun thing is to find u-pick berry or fruit farms - they love running and picking junk off plants and eating them.