TMI for Not Attending « Hellobee Boards

TMI for Not Attending

By Raindrop Dec 8, 2015

I can't place my finger on it. So I thought I would ask you ladies.

Is it weird when someone is overly TMI about not being able to attend an event?

I was invited to an xmas party this year through a group e-mail.

Someone replied all that they can't make it this year because a wedding was moved up due to the bride's mother finding out she has cancer and doesn't have much longer to live.

I thought just saying she had a wedding to go to was probably a good enough reason on it's own! I mean wedding trumps yearly xmas party right?

Sorry no real reason for this thread... just wonder if anyone else thought this was kind of weird?

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17 comments

mauxie
persimmon / 1043 posts

Dec 8, 2015

Haha yes, I think that's kind of weird.. but I definitely know people that overshare like that.
MrsSCB
pomelo / 5257 posts

Dec 8, 2015

I think sometimes people feel that if they add more details, it seems more legit (not that "I'm attending a wedding" wouldn't be legit on its own, haha).
.twist.
pineapple / 12802 posts

Dec 8, 2015

Maybe they didn't realise they hit reply all?
BadgerMom
persimmon / 1385 posts

Dec 8, 2015

@MrsSCB: Ditto. Although I don't get why people think this... I tend to feel like the more useless details someone gives the more they're trying to hide something.
Raindrop
grapefruit / 4731 posts

Dec 8, 2015

@mauxie: @MrsSCB: My next question is should I reply back to her that sorry to hear about her friend's mom?? I'm confused... it's not my party and this person is actually at best an acquaintance.

@.twist.: Nope... b/c she said... They (her DH and her) was really looking forward this year to seeing everyone and is sad they can't make it because of the wedding. I'm not sure about other people in this friend group... but this is the only time I personally see her since she is a friend of the person hosting it.
TemperanceBrennan
pear / 1998 posts

Dec 8, 2015

I usually think people are lying when they give too much information during an excuse. But I'm not saying that at all in this case. But yeah, it is weird. Do you think anyone in the friend group knows the bride/her mom?
Raindrop
grapefruit / 4731 posts

Dec 8, 2015

@BadgerMom: Ah that might be it... I get the feeling she's hiding something? Something just didn't feel right about her message... seriously can't put my finger on it.
.twist.
pineapple / 12802 posts

Dec 8, 2015

@Raindrop: oh! then that is weird.
catlady
grapefruit / 4988 posts

Dec 8, 2015

Maybe she promised someone on the email thread that she would come and then didn't want to seem like a flake when she had to back out?

I wouldn't assume that she is hiding something. But this exact situation happened with my wedding so I am probably biased.
Raindrop
grapefruit / 4731 posts

Dec 8, 2015

@TemperanceBrennan: I think you and BadgerMom might have shined a light on this. She hasn't been attending my friend's events for the last few years... with a lot of excuses (usually out of town guest she needs to show around, wedding or baby shower). I mean when it's an out of town guest she does tell us how they are related to her... like one was a college roommate visiting her for the first time in years, type of thing. Maybe she's just an TMI person. Haha.

I know she knows the host and one other guy since they use to be in the same church (but I think they all are attending different churches now). I'm not sure if any of us know the bride or the mother maybe the host at best?
Raindrop
grapefruit / 4731 posts

Dec 8, 2015

@catlady: Very possible... She did reply right away after the invite was sent out. Maybe she promised the host? The host did do a date check with me... so she might have done a date check with her before she sent out the actual invite.
MK0180
kiwi / 545 posts

Dec 8, 2015

I have to say - my SIL does this - she over-explains why she can't attend whatever event and writes a ridiculously long response. Sometimes I think she's lying (there are times when I know she is), other times I think she's trying to make it more legit in her excuse for not coming to whatever.
But, yes, I do think it is TMI.
JerricaBenton
pomegranate / 3872 posts

Dec 8, 2015

Hahaha, this strikes me funny, because my DH and I always say when someone gives too much detail, it's because they're lying or exaggerating. We have an employee that we love, but if he calls out sick or can't attend an event, his excuses are mindblowing in their detail so we basically assume he's totally lying.
Mrs. Lemon-Lime
wonderful pea / 17279 posts

Dec 8, 2015

That's a bit much! I find sometimes when people have very serious/ sensitive information about friends/ family they tend to overshare out of nervousness/ fear/ disbelief. I'd chalk it up to her still processing her friend's devastating news.

Whenever I hear something I don't think I should know because I have zero vested interest or knowledge of the party in question I just think my friend or colleague just needs to get it out.
Nutella
persimmon / 1045 posts

Dec 8, 2015

Hmm I don't know about this particular example - could very well be her getting it off her chest? But if she's done it before then maybe she is just a bit flakey? But I do tend to agree with others that when the excuse is elaborate it's a bit of a guilty sign! I have a flakey friend here who always cancels last minute - but her excuses are always so elaborate. They sometimes include her LO being ill too, which I don't laugh off...but I do find the amount of detail some of the other reasons have is a bit ludicrous.

My mum told me once that my cousin was mad at us for simply saying no to a dinner (we were tired and couldn't be bothered). Apparently he was unimpressed that we didn't have a good enough reason! so in this case, we were expected to give a grand excuse!
Keybee
kiwi / 735 posts

Dec 8, 2015

It's weird that she replied to all. If she wants to be detailed only bother the people who need to know.
sapphire
nectarine / 2173 posts

Dec 8, 2015

I think it's usually best to just politely decline.

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