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I chose a RCS myself because I wasn't a good VBAC candidate and recovery is much easier this time. That said, if you are quite keen to try then could you hire a doula who does other things besides vaginal birth? Like help out post partum? Or assist at the hospital just after a RCS? That way it might not feel like such a waste if she's prepared to be flexible about her role.

My daughter was born via c-section at 42 weeks. I did go into labour on my own, but stalled at 7 cm, was augmented with pitocin, pushed 2 hr to no effwct and ended up with a c-section (best reason I got, was labour stalled because Baby was "cockeyed"). For my second, I wanted a VBAC, but was given all the same pros and cons as you. I decided that I would so a repeat C-section if I didn't go into labour by 40+6. I decided to hire a doula even though it
might be a waste of money. I considered it my insurance policy. I wanted the VBAC to work if there was a chance. At 39+5, I was still not dialated, or effaced, Baby was high and OB was confident that I would make it to my c-section date. I went into labour at 40+1, and after 31 hours I was fully dialated, but Baby was still really high and the OB talked c-section again if breaking my waters didn't help bring Baby down. My doula had me try different positions which brought Baby down and I got my VBAC. One thing that was important was that my doula was the most committed of anyone (including myself) about getting the VBAC. Everyone talked C-section at every step and I think it would have gone there if it hadn't been for my doula.

@Mae: I was an excellent candidate for vbac and wanted the extra support of a doula - at the cost of $1300! When baby was ready to come they discovered on ultrasound that almost all my amniotic fluid had leaked out. Ob told me baby would have a hard time in labour and due to the lack of fluid he/she needed to come sooner rather than later. In the end it was, "it will be best for baby to come now via an rcs", what choice did I have after that?

The doula was there with us at hosp for a few hours before surgery and then she insisted on coming in the operating room with us but I said no thanks. There's already a million ppl in there plus, I'd done it before and knew exactly what to expect.

In the end it was a lot of money but didn't really feel wasted Bc it allowed me to feel prepared and supported in the plans to have a vbac.

Next time (if there's a number 3) I will try again for a vbac but won't hire a doula, the nurses are really so amazing that will be all the support I need.

I also had an unplanned C-section with my first. I went into labor on my own and dilated fully fairly quickly for a first time mom, but she got stuck at +2 station. My OB practice has been pretty supportive of a VBAC although a couple of the OBs have been pretty frank that a repeat C-section was at least a 40-50% outcome considering my first got "stuck" during pushing. However, unless I get really nervous or something occurs during pregnancy which makes a repeat C-section the best option (like baby going breach) then my plan is to VBAC. I just booked a doula a couple weeks ago, although I was also nervous that I could lose out on money if I decided to suddenly do a C-section or a C-section became necessary despite my plans. However, one point my husband made that struck a cord with me was that if I decide to have a repeat C-section, I have 0 % shot at a successful vaginal birth and a hopefully easier vaginal recovery, while if I try to VBAC, I have at least a 50% chance. And having a doula does statistically raise your chances of having a VBAC. I had hoped that my nurses would play that role last time I labored, but I honestly had the worst cast of nurses who spent their time complaining about personal issues and barely answering my questions, so I didn't want to risk a repeat of that situation. I chose a doula who has a lot of experience with VBACs, and if I decide to have a C-section, the cost lost toward the delivery assistance goes toward her spending a couple nights with me at the hospital while my husband goes home to be with our first. Also, as much as I hate the risk of laboring just to have another C-section, barring any unforeseen complications that I just can't plan for, I know I'll be monitored closely and they will be proactive with telling me that the VBAC will not happen. I'm hoping that since I was able to recover well from an unplanned surgery last time, that would be the case this time, should that be necessary. While a scheduled C-section is typically an easier recovery (and I imagine much better emotionally/mentally than an unplanned one), I also know women who had rough recoveries with each planned repeat C-section, so it's hard to say that a planned C-section recovery will be any easier than what I faced last time.
Bah! Such tough decisions! But at the end, all we can do is make the best call we can with the info we currently have and hope/try for the best. Good luck!

@Mae: A doula is an amazing help for the whole process including the mental processing, no matter if you have a VBAC or belly birth (planned or unplanned).
I had a doula for my VBAC and would have her again if I have another, and I wish she was around to calm me down for my first c-section!

My emergency section with DD was due to fetal distress. My midwife thinks I'm a good candidate for VBAC because baby was so small, she just didn't tolerate labor well. Currently 30 weeks with DD2. That said, I will eventually schedule a section for 41 weeks if nothing has happened or before then if DD2 shows the same growth issues as DD. No one has pressed me to make an appointment yet. I personally couldn't spend the money on a doula with all the what ifs swirling around my head (many sound like yours!) I really wish it was something I could have done but I figure I will do the best I can with my husband and midwives.

@Mae: aw I'm sorry, that really sucks. Any chance of going to a different hospital? Or maybe having your DH sort of prepared with the right words/birth plan? I dunno. I think if I really really wanted a VBAC I would just pay the money and try to make the most of the services and if it were a loss because an emergency section had to be done, so be it.