I'm thinking myself into circles and I'm wondering if anyone has some insight that can nudge me in a concrete direction.

I was induced at 41+1 with LO1 for high BP. At that point I was less than 1cm dilated and had had no contractions. I dilated well, but she got stuck, there had been meconium, I had a fever, and she had heart decels--- so I ended up with a somewhat urgent c-section after 18 hours of labor. I'd been with a midwife practice so I'm confident that both the induction and the decision to cut were necessary and I wasn't just with a slice n' dice type doc.

I'm 26 weeks with #2. I'm on my second OB. Neither has been very encouraging about my chance to vbac. Mostly because I hadn't gone into labor on my own by 41+1, was less than 1cm at that time, and had stopped dilating at 8cm when my daughter got stuck. My current doc has said he'll allow me to try to VBAC if I want, and I can go to 42 weeks if I want.

The DOWNSIDE of VBAC is both docs have told me that doing a RCS on a failed vbac is much harder for them and a much harder recovery for me than just doing a planned RCS. So it feels like it's not a "might as well try" situation, because the outcome would very likely be worse than if I just planned a RCS.

The UPSIDE of a VBAC is if it's successful it's a much easier recovery. Which would be amazing because I have a 3 year old and a lot of stairs in my home.

I feel like if I want to try to VBAC I should hire a doula. But none of them work on a "if you go into labor" basis. You hire them and spend the money and even if I never went into labor and ended up having to have a RCS, I still have to pay. I just can't decide.

Part of me feels like I should schedule a RCS for 41-42 weeks and plan to try to VBAC if I go into labor before that. Going into labor seems like a really good sign things would be different the second time around...?

But I'm still scared of failing. And I'm scared of wasting a ton of money on a doula and then never even going into labor and it's all just wasted.

But I'm also scared of planning a RCS and doing that recovery again.

Sorry this is a novel... but anyone with thoughts.. I'd love to hear them.