Do males and females really need to use separate restrooms? Would you be okay if a student of the opposite sex (from your child) used the same restroom and locker room as your child?
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Bathrooms I absolutely think should be unisex, locker rooms for me are a bit trickier. Mostly because I know how self conscious I was in middle school with just girls, I would have been mortified if boys were in there too. Though maybe if they were equipped with enough changing stalls? I don't know.
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Having had to clean both the men's and women's restrooms at a job I worked at, I can say I wouldn't want to share a restroom with men, haha.
Also, the girl's bathroom in school was where we went to talk about boys! It'd be harder if boys were in there too!
But in general, I don't see a real reason to keep them separate.
ETA: Oh, I missed the locker room part. I would prefer to keep those separate. I was very self conscious growing up and didn't even like changing in front of other girls, so I would have HATED changing in front of boys!
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I would not be OK with boys and girls using the same restroom and locker room, but I think transgender is different. I think its OK if the kid has gone through counseling/treatment to change their gender, then they should be allowed to use the restroom of the gender they identify with.
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Bathrooms I don't really see the reason we still have separate ones for males and females.
Changing rooms on the other hand... I guess for little kids it's fine, but as an adult I would not be comfortable with seeing a naked man in the locker room at the gym.
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@Mrs.Someone: Completely agree about transgendered. If someone identifies as female, then she should absolutely use the girl's bathroom and locker room!
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No.
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I think it's good to offer a unisex option, but for a lot of reasons adira listed I would want separate too. For a transgender person, if they were male but are now female, I would absolutely be fine to share a bathroom/locker room with them.
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I think part of my issue with unisex bathrooms is how kids tease eachother in bathrooms, and teachers aren't usually in there. I think mixing genders would just make it harder. Also, as an adult, I don't want men in my bathroom, they're dirtier!
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I would rather see them implement something like a "Family Restroom" that could be used by handicapped students and any students that didn't want to go to either boy/girl.
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I'm really conflicted about this. On one hand I whole heartedly believe the girl in the article knows that her true self is female and is likely most comfortable using the girl restroom and locker rooms. On the other hand what about the fact she still has a penis and the rest of the girls are now having to share a rest room or locker room with a male.
Are we separating the restrooms and locker rooms because of anatomy? Or sexual urges when puberty kicks in? Is this all out date now that we know more and are accepting of the LGBTQ community?
Every single one of the bathroom stalls at the schools I attended didn't offer much privacy with the doors not being 100% flush. So i would want better stalls in schools before I would sign off on coed restrooms.
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This is a really rough question. I personally believe as an adult most separations for bathrooms are useless. There are family changing rooms in which there is a large room with smaller private rooms for the actual changing but everyone is in the same room (so important for families with dual genders).
Preschool and elementary school could easily go ungendered. But middle school and high school are so crazy. I wouldn't want ungendered there because of all the hormones running through. Why risk more problems (like guys following a girl in etc)? Singular bathrooms with doors to the outside maybe.
Transgendered absolutely should be able to choose their gender at some point. When they are ready for that but not just willy nilly (which in most cases that get this far is not the case).
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I have very mixed feelings about this. I know for me personally when a 50 year old man at work who I'd known for 5 years as male decided to transition and started using the ladies room it was uncomfortable. Yes, he was wearing women's clothes and a wig, but in my mind it was hard to stop seeing him as male.
I don't want to see anyone discriminated against or made uncomfortable. But sometimes it goes both ways.
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For kids, it should be--and stay-- separate.
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For tiny kids I think transgender is more practical for teachers, carers etc and I like the idea of family locker rooms/bathrooms but I think older kids and teenagers should be separated as there are a lot of insecurities at that age. Also as an adult, I have been in men's locker rooms/bathrooms and they are a hell of a lot dirtier, sharing a bathroom with my DH is bad enough
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In cases like this I think it's fine. I think in the locker room, at first it might be hard for her because naturally other girls will be curious and some might be mean. But I think eventually she'd just be one of the girls. Like, if there was a TG lady at my gym or something, and she was in the women's locker room, I probably A. wouldn't notice because I mind my own business, and B. wouldn't care.
But no way I could go number 2 in a public, unisex bathroom! I had to pee in one a few weeks ago at a wedding and it was SO awkward. Esp. b/c it was a wedding of DH's co-workers, so I'm basically peeing in the stall next to his boss. ::sigh:: Fabulous. So I'm all for his and hers bathrooms, but if a TG lady is in the "hers" bathroom, no big deal.
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I would have been mortified in school if we shared bathrooms with the guys. Middle school me would have held it til I got home, rather than going to the bathroom at the same time as a guy I liked! Changing bodies, hormones, insecurities... All reasons to keep locker rooms and bathrooms separate in school. And to be honest, I would be uncomfortable with unisex shared bathrooms as an adult, too.
That being said, I see no problem with a transgendered person using the bathroom corresponding to the gender they identify with. I think that makes the most sense, honestly.
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@Mrs.Someone: i agree!
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I am not comfortable with this- bathrooms and locker rooms (especially locker rooms) should remain separate.
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At 8 and definitely at 16 I knew the anatomical difference between a boy and girl. If I caught a glimpse of a transgender girl's part in the bathroom I think I might be traumatized.
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@mrs.lemon-lime: You raise a great point by questioning why we have separate bathrooms in the first place - anatomy or sexual urges? When it comes to anatomy, I have no problem with girls and boys sharing bathrooms if there are toilets with quality stalls (few of the stalls in the school where I work even lock, much less are flush to the doors). Urinals make the situation a bit trickier, but I think urinals are just weird and gross in general. As for sexual urges, yes, a bathroom is a closed-off unsupervised place. But I believe that if a boy is going to mess with a girl, he probably be just as likely to do it in the hall, on the bus or even follow her into the girls bathroom. I don't think a boy would mess with a girl just because he had the opportunity to do so in a unisex bathroom. So I don't think either of those possible reasons for separate sex bathrooms stand up to scrutiny. Initially I feel a bit uneasy about the idea of being in a bathroom with a man, but I think that's just because it's foreign to me. I don't like peeing/pooping next to people in general, so it doesn't matter to me if it's a man or woman.
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When I taught we had a single bathroom in each classroom which was, in my opinion, ideal. I think the prek and kindergarten rooms had two. Locker rooms are a trickier thing. I remember being horrified at being required to strip down to nothing after swim class my freshman year. Throwing guys into the mix would have been awful.
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@Cole: would you feel the same if the guy in swim class felt he was a girl?
@Katrocap: I didn't mean boys and girls inappropriately touching each other, but I suppose that could happen any and everywhere around school. I mean more so of things no longer being kept a mystery and how that would impact a student for the rest of the day.
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I can only imagine being a 13 year old pre-teen girl with her period for the first time having to change a tampon or pad with a boy standing right outside the stall door (which by the way has huge cracks) washing his hands
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Hmm, I don't know. Honestly my issue was 100% about me (as teens typically are). I think it would have been hard for me to see someone whose body wasn't just like mine. And I realize this is terrible to admit but I think as a teen that would have meant any one who had a very different body even if they were physically female. It's just such a tricky time in life.
@T.H.O.U.: Taking the period idea one further, I remember a friend bleeding through her shorts and hiding out in the restroom while the rest of us raided our lockers for feminine products and a change of clothes for her. A coed bathroom would have been awful. On the other hand I doubt it would have bothered her if it were a single exception situation as opposed to blanket coed bathrooms
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Shared bathrooms for pre-K makes sense to me. It's too hard on teachers to try and oversee a girls and a boys room, and it's not unusual for kids to need help still occasionally at that age.
Elementary school doesn't bother me as far as my children being exposed to a different type of body part. But kids do tease each other (even if it's nonsensically, and not maliciously) so I think it might require more teacher oversight to share bathrooms? Maybe not...girls still tease girls plenty in the bathroom.
Middle school and high school, I don't think co-ed bathrooms or locker rooms are appropriate, mainly due to sexual attraction rather than anatomical differences.
As far as a transgender person goes - they should use whatever bathroom of the gender they identify the most with.
As far as lesbian, gay or bi kids go, despite me having said attraction and not anatomy was the issue, I think it makes sense to still segregate based on gender. I don't think my friends who are lesbian would want to use the men's bathroom because they could theoretically be attracted to a woman in the ladies' room. I think it mostly has to do with where you feel safest.
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@mrs.lemon-lime: I didn't mean to imply that you were talking about boys and girls touching each other, that's just something I was thinking about. I know what you mean about things not being a mystery and impacting a student. As an adult it's easy for me to support unisex bathrooms, but 13 year old me would have freaked out if I'd seen a boy's penis.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I totally get that. I think it seems to me, though, that if a biological male who identified as a female were using a women's restroom, she would be using the stall like everyone else, since there wouldn't be a urinal. So I think the chance of exposure would be pretty minimal! I don't think I've ever seen a lady's lady parts in a bathroom!
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Right now i'm in London (i'm from the states) and i looove the bathrooms here! they don't have ANY gaps, not even at the floor usually. the doors/walls are ceiling to floor and the door has a lock on it which reads occupied/unoccupied based on if it's locked or not. and you really can't "hear" what other people are doing either, which I love
I've heard that one of the most "culture shock" things when other cultures come to the US is seeing that we have gaps in all our bathroom doors. Really, if you think about it, that's super weird. WHY do we have gaps? Why can't they be real doors and who wants to see other peoples shoes as they're sitting on a toilet anyway??
I think if bathroom stalls were different then it would be really irrevelant if it was a boys or a girls bathroom. You just use the enclosed doored off room (no urinals) and wash your hands in a bank of sinks next to men or women.
Sadly, this would require investment from companies/schools that own public restrooms across America, so i'm sure that won't happen. I just WISH we had better bathrooms so it wouldn't be a room that causes insecurity for ANYONE (trans or just a teenager who is uncomfortable peeing when people can hear her...)
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For those who are saying that bathrooms have to be sex segregated because of hormones and sexual urges...
...Do you mean to suggest that people with same sex attractions need to use a separate bathroom?
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I dont see the issue with a transgender child using the bathroom/locker room of the gender they identify with.
Honestly.... my daughter is going to see a penis sooner rather than later. Id rather it just happen so we can explain it to her. Our school district starts sex ed in 4th grade anyway. We plan to be extremely open about sex/our bodies/etc. I firmly believe that sex ed doesn't stop in the classroom and it's more my responsibility as her parent to make sure she is informed than it is a teacher's.
Im not really sure what I think as far as non-transgender kids. Part of me thinks that it's fine, that sharing bathrooms and changing rooms would normalize the female/male body for the opposite sex and then it wouldnt be a big deal anymore. The other part of me thinks it would be a recipe for disaster. There was recently an incident here where a girl at a middle school invited boys, via facebook, to meet her in a certain school bathroom for anal sex. They came, and they tore her up. She ended up in the hospital.
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@lilyofthewest: I don't think so. I never have problems changing in front of friends who are lesbian, and I didn't have problems with girls who were lesbians being in the same cabin when I was a camp counselor.
But I would be more uncomfortable changing in front of a guy. Probably because there can be a power imbalance between men and women.
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