Hellobee Boards

Wow. Well my situation is not exactly like yours but my husband travels a lot and really it has only worked so far for us because I have flexibility. We just hired a nanny and she has made my job a lot easier, I can work and take on extra responsibilities and know my kids are fine. I would think in your situation, a live-in caregiver would be required and ideal.

I find a nanny (or grandparent care) works best in those situations. Friends with travel heavy schedules have nannies or moms to watch the kids when they are gone.

If you have family that is able/willing to provide the overnight care in those situations, you could do that w/ more "normal" care during the day (full-time nanny or daycare).

If not, I'd probably try to find a live-in nanny/au pair.

I gave up my full-time travel job when we had LO1 because I wasn't really comfortable with a live-in nanny (house too small, DH's weird schedules) and we had no family able/willing to help.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Mother's Day Out - the big thing is just finding a village. Have you thought about a nanny share? The MDO is just for his socialization and to give my parents a mid-day break those 2 days. I would be lying if I didn't say that we need something from someone (usually my parents or sibling) at least once a week.

It is really nice to have the nanny because she's someone my son just LOVES (which as they get older and more anxious around strangers becomes a more relevant thing) and we know that he is safe / happy with her. We don't have to reinvent the wheel every time we need emergency childcare. We are also her only family (she's in school) and she can do her classes online.

ETA: Both of our during the day travel is what you described. We are both at least a minimum of 1 hour from our son during the day in terms of distance.

I actually left my last position in part because I was being pressured to travel more than I could. I was doing once per month 2-3 nights away and/ or sometimes long day trips where I would leave early in the morning and come back late at night so I could reduce my time away. LO was under 1 when I started this. At the time, DH was traveling a lot too including international trips. We have a nanny and that's what's worked best for us. In that situation you described, a nanny (with a strong consideration for a live-in) and/or really helpful and involved family is needed.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: since you are open to a live-in situation, maybe you should look into an au pair? I think it's somewhat cheaper than a traditional nanny and maybe your LO could pick up another language? We have friends who are moving back to the US in a few months and they are looking into getting an au pair for their toddler so he can keep up his 2nd language.

I have two friends who were pilots and they had similar schedules. TBH, one became a SAHP. They had another before their first was two, probably because of this issue I'd imagine. Now they are done with kids, and their oldest is 2.5, so they are changing it up. The dad recently took a 9 to 5 as a recruiter so he only travels for work once or twice a month. The mom now flies at night twice a week. And the kids do a morning out program 3 days a week. So basically mom is there during the day and does morning out so she can do appointment/groceries/etc. Dad is there at night/early morning while mom flies. Dad is gone during the day but his job is local so he can do the school drop off. It is amazing to me but they make it work. Not implying that one of you should become a SAHP but I will say, that's one of the reasons people become SAHPs and also try to space their kids closer together.

ETA: mom does two trips a week, but I'd guess they take longer than one night. So more like two nights and two mornings a week.

I know someone in a similar situation (with school aged children). They have a full time (live out) nanny and pay well above market rate because her schedule changes weekly and they sometimes need her to stay overnight.