How long did you wait to try again?
Part of me what's to wait until next year when I'm more okay with P possibly weaning, but another part of me just wants to be pregnant again.
I know there really is no wrong answer & that when I feel ready (given I allow myself to heal) is fine, but just wondering what the common consensus is.
52 votes
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
I wanted to try again right away, but I knew that wasn't the right thing to do for my body.
We agreed, based on personal reasons, to wait a few cycles. My RE suggested we wait until October, so we will be doing a medicated cycle then.
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this question, though. It's a very personal decision, and perhaps one that might be best made with the guidance of your doctor.
bananas / 9628 posts
I think it depends on how far along ppl are. With a chemical pregnancy there's really no reason to wait that I heard, but further along it takes more of a toll on your body & I've been told 3 months is usually the recommendation.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
I had a natural miscarriage around 6 weeks before T. My doctor told me we could start trying after I got my period again following the miscarriage. It took 6 weeks to get my period and we started trying again right after that.
honeydew / 7909 posts
We waited 2 months per the recommendation of my midwife. I feared getting pregnant again and my body not being ready and losing another baby. But we both wanted to try asap... but waiting 2 months and the time it took to get pregnant again helped me heal.
watermelon / 14206 posts
I felt so empty handed after losing s. I only waited 3 cycles to try again. But everyone is different and my dh left it totally up to me. So you just try again when you and your family feels ready.
eggplant / 11408 posts
The first time, it was so early that we didn't wait. The second time, we waited a month. I agree, I don't think there is a right answer, provided you have time to heal.
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
I waited until after my first period (so about 40 days). I have really long cycles, so I knew it could take awhile, especially if the m/c made my cycles even more weird. It ended up taking from the beginning of September until the end of February to get pregnant again.
kiwi / 659 posts
I had a MC at a little over 9 weeks & started trying before I even got my 1st period. I ended up conceiving again the 2nd cycle, but lost it at 5 weeks. My Dr suggested maybe my body wasn't quite ready for pregnancy yet.. Who knows? But I conceived this pregnancy 7 cycles later (very regular cycles).. Maybe I just needed more time. Good luck whatever you decide
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
We tried again right away. The whole mc process was pretty long as I explained in a previous post (tried pills twice and ended up needing 2 d&cs) so by the time I was allowed to try again I was ready. But I didn't have any baby/toddler to worry about.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I took one cycle off after the mc and the tried again. But I had a very early loss.
pomegranate / 3890 posts
Took one cycle off and then tried and got pregnant with p on my second month of trying. I desperately wanted to be pregnant again.
In really sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you!
papaya / 10570 posts
I tried right away and was pregnant 2 cycles later. I felt that it helped me to heal. You will know when you are ready, deep in your heart. Perhaps you could NTNP and just leave it in God's hands?
pomelo / 5073 posts
Since we were so far along, we had to wait at least 2 cycles and then we waited one more because we felt we needed a little more time. I would do what you feel comfortable with and what your medical person advises. Hugs.
honeydew / 7917 posts
We waited until it felt right, and for me that took a full 9 months. One day I realized that the baby would have been born that month, and I felt ready to move on.
pomelo / 5607 posts
My doctor said to wait a couple months, but I *really* didn't want to. I did some research and everything seemed to suggest that the main reason to wait was emotional and to make dating a future pregnancy easier. Emotionally the number one thing I needed was to try again. I was just sitting around thinking about how I wasn't pregnant anymore, and needed to have something to DO to actively move on. AF took 5 weeks to show up (and obviously no luck that month). Used opk's and charted after that, and got pregnant that first cycle after AF returned..
honeydew / 7295 posts
Sending you love doll! I agree with everyone else that you should follow your heart! Perhaps there is a happy medium and you can meet somewhere in the middle of now and later. Sending you a lot of baby dust when the time is right. In the meantime snuggle your sweeties to get you through.
apricot / 347 posts
we waited one month after a 20week loss (waiting on genetics results) and then started again straight away. We struggled to wait at all, we just wanted to be pregnant so desperately. Took another 5 months to conceive though. I really agree with pp, do whatever works for you and your family - there's no right or wrong and only you can know what will feel manageable for you
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
@runsyellowlites: How do you feel now about tandem nursing? I believe you really wanted a baby soon so you could tandem nurse P and the next one. Is that still a goal?
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
It seems to me that you are asking two different questions here: what did others do and what should you do. What other people did really doesn't come into play for your situation because it is rather different than anyone else's. You already have two children and one of them is really young.
I think the right considerations are "when an I physically, emotionally, financially and logistically ready to add to our family?" "When will my children be ready?"
Only you and your partner can decide these things, but I just wanted to make sure you realized that a lot of the perspective you are receiving is from folks who had a loss when they had either no or one child, and I think the considerations *may be * different. I don't have similar experience, so I can't say for sure. Give yourself time to be sad and think about things with a clear head. Sorry you have to think about these things at all.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
I have nothing new to add but I agree with everything that @Mrs. Jacks says. I think it's an incredibly personal decision that you and your family need to make to determine what is best for all of you. There is nothing wrong with taking time to grieve or not taking time, you just need to do what is good for you guys. Hugs!!!
coconut / 8305 posts
Thanks for sharing ladies.
I was really only asking what some of you other ladies experienced in timeline & was just speaking aloud for myself. I know there is no right/wrong answer, it's just nice to actually see that in others experiences & not just be told that. 
I haven't given myself any set timeline & for now I think that's best & am okay without a "plan".
coconut / 8305 posts
@T.H.O.U.: I would still really like to tandem, but it's not as pertinent as it was (maybe b/c everything is still so fresh). I know nursing is safe in pregnancy & won't cause a healthy pregnancy to miscarry, but it was pretty stressful in amidst of it all feeling like I had to "choose". I think P will probably nurse for a long while but after 2 I won't feel so pressed to her weaning (completely, partially, or for a period) if that arises again.
@Mrs. Jacks: Thanks for weighing in. I didn't know if you had seen the news. You're right about the needing time & that having G & P already probably affects my needs alot more/different than if I didn't. I think if we were trying for our first I'd be alot more apt to want to try again right away. I feel like it's been forever already but it hasn't even been a week yet. ugh. 
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
I'm going to start trying as soon as my doctor says I can. I know I won't be able to wait too long.
@runsyellowlites: you were in the March due date group, right? I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't know.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
For us, we were still trying for #1, and it already been 10 months. I was furious and devastated that I had finally gotten pregnant and then lost it. I was desperate to try again as soon as possible. For me, trying again right away was what I needed to help me heal.
honeydew / 7091 posts
I said right away, but I had a really early miscarriage (5 weeks). I don't know what I would do with a later miscarriage 
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@runsyellowlites: I did see the news. Sorry I didn't comment. I've been pretty hectic and didn't have time to sit down and really process before responding.
cherry / 235 posts
We started trying again after my 1st AF. It has always taken us 5+ months to become pregnant, so I didn't want to waste anymore time. It took us 6 months to become pregnant again and I think it was actually a good amount of time because I was able to emotionally heal. It's such a personal descision, but I'm not so sure I would have really been ok if I had gotten pregnant again right away.
pear / 1799 posts
Since I miscarried naturally, we tried again right away. It took 3 months of charting & actively trying to get our next BFP, and I think that was a good amount of time to feel confident in my body again.
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