Hellobee Boards

Wowsers, what a bunch of happy news in here! Congrats to all the new bfp ladies - I can't wait to join you next year!

@LCTBQE: hugs lady. Your instincts were right about your SIL - I'm sending lots of strength to you for the next few weeks. I don't know if sharing helps or not. My family seem to have moved on which makes it harder, but I know I couldn't have not...ya know?
I got a shitty bfn last cycle after AF was two days late, so that was hard! We are currently on holiday, enjoying tropical weather and multiple swims/day, snorkelling etc. Doing wonders for the soul is all this water therapy! But praying 2016 is a better year emotionally. I have had to work so hard on looking after myself - it sounds ridiculous but slowly starting to feel like my old self. Hope you get in some good vino & brownies in the meantime!

So much solidarity in this board! It's really the only thing that seems to help. I wonder if all the SIL's are all on BabyCenter complaining about how awkward it is for them to have us put a damper on their great news. haha?

@jaguar: I am so sorry it's been such a struggle for you guys. I'm really hopeful for you (easy for me to say, I know...)

@mrsjd: wouldn't the world be a just place if rude selfish women weren't allowed to talk, ever? this is my dream hope it isn't that bad for you when she announces. I sobbed a few times, it was pitiful. but also just laughed out loud at your social media strategy--brilliant.

@Nutella: I know *exactly* what you mean about the sting of others moving on/getting over it, while you're still not. it is painful. but, your vacation sounds so amazing. actually weren't you just on vacation, so multiple vacations?! I want your life I'm hoping that everything settles down for you (did you move home yet?) and you get some quality trying-time in with your husband this next month. the very first month we tried, I swear I felt implantation cramping, but then my period was 2 days late--I still think it was a failed implantation, which I see as definitely better than nothing. Wonder if that's what happened with you this month? yes to the wine, I'm sure nobody's dropping the ball in that department.

@zbug: totally. I seem to be capable of happiness (easily) for anyone who is struggling or trying really hard. it's the look-at-me's that drive me nuts

@delight: thanks for this. I'm really sorry to hear that your relationship with them is permanently dinged, but so amazed at the strength it must take to have even a shell of one. I am tremendously sad reading that it's the anniversary of your baby's passing. I'll be thinking of you this weekend. xxx

@MrsDragon:

@delight: hugs to you

@Zbug: sending positive vibes your way, hoping for good news from your next appt

@Zbug: that's concerning--when are you going back for a second draw, tomorrow? so many good wishes for you

@Nutella: @jaguar: @LCTBQE: @JoJoGirl: thanks, ladies. 129 at 16 dpo.

Pretty sure I'm having miscarriage #3 -- started spotting yesterday and full on bleeding today. Going to see a random doctor in half an hour.

@MrsDragon: I'm so sorry.

@MrsDragon: thinking of you and @zbug

@MrsDragon: no! Keeping you in thoughts - keep us updated

@Shantuck: how are you doing? I just read one of your posts in another thread about your ultrasound. So many of us are in the same threads now I can't remember which one it was! Any further update? I hope you're doing ok.

@MrsDragon: I'm so sorry, lady. This isn't fair.

Thank you everyone. Today I'm mostly angry, but doing ok. Haven't had any follow up from anyone -- I'm also losing track of what I posted where, but I had a useless ultrasound yesterday and a blood test. Nobody has scheduled a repeat for tomorrow. Good times.

@MrsKoala: Honestly? I have just been feeling the anger and resentment. It's so hard to not think "I should be xx weeks pregnant." And now that we are on loss #3, with no clear plan out of it yet, I am preemptively angry and resentful for the future because I feel like even NTNP would be playing with fire right now, so I don't know what to do.

I think some days it dulls, and some days it is worse, but for me, at least, it's always there.

@Shantuck: I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and I hope you get fantastic news and see a heartbeat! I'm doing ok. Just trying to get through the anniversary on Saturday. DD and I have come down with a wicked cold so we are resting on the couch in our jammies and watching Christmas movies.

@MrsKoala: I am always resentful and angry and jealous it seems. I understand all your emotions. my DH makes comments too sometimes about maybe we should just stop trying beside we have a beautiful, healthy daughter. Something is missing though. I love her more than anything but I will not be fully happy again until I hold another babe in my arms. I hope the new year brings you and your DH on the same path again. In the meantime, continue to focus on LO. That's what Keeps me going.

My dr is out of the office thru this weekend, so I didnt get my hcg results. WTH? I'm going to call in the morning to see if anyone else can get them for me, but I'm pretty annoyed. Still spotting so not expecting good news, but I would like to stop the progesterone and let this happen if it's not going anywhere.

@Zbug: I would be down at their office with torches and pitchforks. hope you get your results NOW, that is ridiculous.

@MrsKoala: can't top any of the great answers from all these wise ladies who already posted, but to reassure you, *everyone* here feels like this. I had lunch with a friend yesterday who is going through similar hell (both of us are very eager for our first baby) and she says at some point in her journey she just became numb, which is the only alternative coping method I know of. and we both agreed, as I think most women here do: it's easier to be happy for someone who has gone through misery because there's this sense that they "earned" their healthy pregnancy, which is insane but so true. my last couple of posts here were complaining about the sting of real-life announcements. Anyway, I hope you have an easy time of it in the new year. I admire your maturity to compromise with your partner on timing.

@MrsDragon: I appreciate the honesty. I constantly feel like I shouldn't be angry since I have my LO at least but I still am. I hate that you are on loss 3. I hope there will be some answers for you and an ability to formulate a plan.

@JoJoGirl: I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm going to try to talk with him over the weekend. We've been avoiding it a bit lately.

@delight: I hope the same for you and your family in the new year. Focusing on my LO definitely keeps me going and I'll try to actively remember that when the going gets tough.

@Nutella: They do process things so differently. I tend to forget that. Also, I think I'm just expecting him to understand what I'm thinking and feeling without saying it. That's not exactly helpful, either. I've thought several times of seeing a counselor. Maybe now is really the time to just do it.

@LCTBQE: Thank you. I hate to say this but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has feelings like this. I hate for anyone to be in this boat at all, though. I've been rooting for you all silently.

Thanks all. It looks like it is in fact a blighted ovum so I'm now on miscarriage #2 in 6 months. I just scheduled a D&C for Monday.

@Shantuck: so sorry, love.