I lost my baby at 19 weeks , 3 weeks ago tfmr due to my son not having any kidneys (bilateral renal agenisis) how long did your period take to return ? And if you got pregnant how long after did it take you ? I would never replace my son Noah I just desperately need to have a baby in my arms
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@Elysia: I am so sorry for your lost. We TFMR at 21 weeks in 2014. I have never stopped thinking about that little girl. We were told to wait 3 months to TTC but I had my period back within about 7-8 weeks. After starting to TTC it took 6 months to get pregnant and we had a MC at 11 weeks. At that point we started to have some fertility testing done to see what was going on. Shortly after I became pregnant with our DS. All In all, it was 14 months from our TFMR to conceiving our son. I will say, that while the road was rocky and the TFMR was the worst emotional pain I have ever encountered, I am so grateful for our little boy. I often think about how if we hadn’t lost that little girl, that he wouldn’t be here. I miss her every day but don’t regret any decisions. Best wishes to you.
There are a number of us here who have TFMR. It is a great community.
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@Elysia: I'm so sorry that you are going through this. We TFMR at 18.5 weeks in March, 2018 for T21 and it was devastating. It took us 1.5 years to make that baby so I was completely heartbroken. My period took exactly 5 weeks to return and I ended up getting pregnant that cycle after AF arrived (currently 10+ weeks pregnant now). My doctor said we did not need to wait, AF normally takes 4-6 weeks to return and that I would be fertile 10-14 days after the procedure.
Like you, and since this is our first baby, I desparetly needed to be pregnant again. Nobody would ever think you were trying to replace your baby so try not to worry about that (although I know it is hard). I noticed that I was starting to spiral into a mild depression and when I found out that I was pregnant again, I was the happiest person on the planet.
I hope AF arrives soon for you and you get pregnant as soon as you can. I'm here for you if you need to chat.
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@delight: sorry to hear that you also have been through this awful situation too ! It’s lovely to hear that you went on to have your rainbow baby it gives me so much hope for the future! X
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@LabradorLover: I’m sorry that you have been through this also, I’m so happy your having your rainbow baby ! Did you deliver or did you have a d &c I delivered I stopped bleeding after 10 days can you Remember how long you bled for ? That’s how I feel I’m so down I know being pregnant will make me so happy. Are they monitoring you more this time ? X
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@Elysia: I had a D&E and bled for the first day and then basically spotted for roughly 7 days or so. No extra monitoring this time but I did have my blood drawn for the MaterniT21 test (like last time) to rule out any issues sooner rather than later.
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@Elysia: good morning
I am so sorry for your loss and so sorry you are going through this. We, too, TFMR this year in April. I was 18 weeks pregnant with a much loved baby girl. I was induced and delivered her. Like you, in the weeks that followed, I was consumed with the thought of conceiving again and holding another baby. My period took an agonising 8 weeks to return. I focused on eating as well as I could, really spoiling myself in preparation of being pregnant again. We decided not to wait, and with doctors approval tried to conceive after that first period! I'm happy to say it worked. I'm now six weeks pregnant and anxiously waiting for my first ultrasound next week.Good luck to you. Take very gentle care of yourself and your partner. You will hold a healthy baby . Hold that image close to your heart. Xx
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Forgot to say that my daughter had trisomy 18 ...
@LabradorLover: I am very happy to see your news and have followed your journey
it's nice to know we are not alone on this journey.
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@elysia: I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm 17 weeks and agonizingly awaiting the results of my CVS test because the NT and NIPT showed highest risk possible for T21. We will TFMR if the results come back positive. Before all of this came up for us a month ago I had no idea there were so many women who go through this. Just want to send hugs and support that you'll get to hold your rainbow baby one day soon!
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@Katrocap: thinking of you. The waiting truly is the worst. Once we made a decision, I felt a huge sense of relief. We are here for you.
@Elysia: other things I did in the aftermath of our loss - drank a lot of wine! Did a lot of shopping- retail therapy! I also bought things for our next baby. I wasn't pregnant at that point, but I needed something tangible to look at and say yes we will.have another baby and he /she will wear/use this. Some people might think that is tempting fate but it helped me. I also journalled about my feelings and the experience. And watched a lot of light hearted tv.
I agree with @LabradorLover: that this current pregnancy has brought me a lot of joy again but also a lot of anxiety. With subsequent pregnancies, there is a very strong pull to spiral into a negative cycle of worry and anxiety. I have to constantly remind myself that that is not helpful. I say to myself- these thoughts are unhelpful- today I am pregnant and I love my baby. A bit cheesy but it helps me to focus on the present moment. I also like the analogy of 'crossing to the sunny side of the street' like when you are walking and choose to cross the road so you walk in the sun. It's like that with your attitude during your next pregnancy. I don't want worry to be my predominant memory of this pregnancy. Because I know most pregnancies end in a healthy baby. So I allow myself to walk in joy.
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@EmmaNZ: I am happy to hear you are pregnant so soon again, too! I have to say it is so shocking to me how many people have to go through this and so unfair as well. I do have fears that the same thing will happen to this baby but I also think we wouldn’t have gotten pregnant so quickly if it wasn’t meant to be! Once these blood test results come back, all negative hopefully, I’ll be able to relax and we will be able to celebrate this baby.
Good luck with your ultrasound next week, keep us updated!
There are a number of us here who have TFMR. It is a great community.
I am so sorry for your loss and so sorry you are going through this. We, too, TFMR this year in April. I was 18 weeks pregnant with a much loved baby girl. I was induced and delivered her. Like you, in the weeks that followed, I was consumed with the thought of conceiving again and holding another baby. My period took an agonising 8 weeks to return. I focused on eating as well as I could, really spoiling myself in preparation of being pregnant again. We decided not to wait, and with doctors approval tried to conceive after that first period! I'm happy to say it worked. I'm now six weeks pregnant and anxiously waiting for my first ultrasound next week.Reply
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