We have been trying actively for six months or 7 cycles. We've been NPNT since October, and planning on TTC for the last 18 months. In this time we have gone from none of our friends being pregnant or even discussing kids to pretty much all of them holding a baby in their arms. Every one of my long standing best friends that I grew up with has suddenly gotten pregnant, and had their babies.

I am really starting to get depressed. Even couples who said they didn't want kids now have a baby, and I just can't bear to even pick up the phone and talk to them. While I should be excited to see all the facebook statuses about the wonders of new parenthood I just get resentful and feel like I should be experiencing that. I feel like by the time we finally do get pregnant it won't even be a big deal or exciting for us. It will just be expected. I also worry I will be bitter and that I am not going to get over the sadness of how hard this has been.

I am really starting to feel so alone in this. I don't want to stress my DH out, and none of our family knows`. I have no one to talk to, and I just feel like even if we do get pregnant my friends will either be too busy to care, or will spend most of their time playing the expert by giving me advice since they will have already gone through all of this. I will go through all of this alone and behind them. Having kids was supposed to be new and exciting and it just feels like a lot of the joy has gone out of it.

In large part these feelings are probably compounded by so many other dreams that have had to be scaled back due to the economy. We haven't been able to buy a house, we had a really small wedding, I don't have a big rock and we don't get to take a bunch of fancy vacations, drive super nice cars, etc. We were happy to make these choices because we thought it would let us have children sooner. We are comfortable but I feel like we have already had to compromise and make do in so many other areas, that struggling to have kids just makes it even harder. Especially when my friends don't seem to be struggling on this or any other front. They all own or recently bought homes, often in high cost of living areas, and I'm starting to wonder what I am doing wrong that things are just not turning out for us when they make it look so easy.

/pity party I guess. I know many couples have struggled for years and it could be much worse, but it still sucks.