Do you have a "tuckaway account"?
This is an account you fund for yourself in case you need to get away from your SO or start over after a break up/ divorce.Of course you can use the funds however you like, but the point is your household doesn't need the stash.
85 votes
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
As in an account your SO doesn't know about? No, I don't have one.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
No I don't but I didn't think of it when I had a job & now that I SAH I don't want to risk DH noticing 20 bucks a week or whatever so I can stash it away. Besides, I'm in this for forever. I've joked that I will kill DH before I ever agree to divorce him lol
my feelings would be a little hurt if I ever found out he had some kind of permanent plan set up in case we split, I would feel like he wasn't 100% invested in us so I wouldn't want to do the same to him either.
nectarine / 2272 posts
Hmmmm no. If we were to get divorced, we would split our money.
squash / 13208 posts
I have my own account but DH knows about it - but the majority of our money is under both names
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
I don't call it a tuckaway account, but I do have an account with some money in it from pre-marriage. He knows about it...it's sort of just emergency money that I forget about.
bananas / 9628 posts
I wouldn't call it that, but I do have money that is mine & only mine & untouchable to him even if something were to happen to me
ETA: he has been made aware of this, it's not a secret
pineapple / 12526 posts
I still have an active bank account from before we got married. I dont currently put anything into it though and theres not much there.
persimmon / 1404 posts
No I don't.
And, just a heads up, even if you do have one of these, depending on the laws where you live you might be required to split it with your spouse anyway. You would for sure have to report it.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I don't have an account specifically to 'tuck-away'. MIL actually told me to do this a while ago because of the issues she had with FIL (gambling issues). So DH knows that it was suggested and doesn't have any problem with me having one. I don't like the idea of hidden money. I do have an investment account that I can pull money from that is under my name only. That is what I could use.
ETA: Granted... I'm not in a relationship with domestic abuse, so the idea of hidden money sounds weird & sneaky to me. I have been exposed to friends and family who have been in bad relationship and I understand that if I were in that position, I can definitely see why it is needed.
Anyone read the book or see the movie 'Safe Haven'? Yup, I definitely agree, that in some instances, hidden money could help you.
eggplant / 11824 posts
We each have private accounts, but they are not secret and not funded for a potential divorce. Neither account contains enough to get us far after a split either 
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@alohaorchid: Oh, didn't think about that part. Good point.
coconut / 8234 posts
No, but I have my own checking and savings account, so I don't need some secret account. DH doesn't have access to my accounts, I don't have access to his. We also have a joint checking.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@yoursilverlining: Same! We each have our own accounts, but they aren't secret and they definitely aren't that much. The majority of our income goes into a joint account because that's what we need to cover all the bills!
pomelo / 5258 posts
Yes, my parents gave me a couple hundred dollars when DH and I moved in together. It's still just a couple hundred dollars. I only add $2 bills to it. In reality, it's really natural disaster cash in case the big one comes and all the credit/debit cards are down. DH knows about it and could theoretically swipe it at any time. It makes my parents happy though.
persimmon / 1343 posts
Nope, never heard that term. Not a fan of keeping money from each other, so we do everything from our joint account. We both have our own accounts from premarriage, but they go unused and have like $10 in them haha. My SIL spends a lot of money secretly because her husband is weird about spending even to help his own mother, so I understand why she does it, but still think that it is something that should be discussed.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
No. Not because I think I'm immune to divorce, I've just never thought about it.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
No, but I live in a community property state so we'd split everything 50/50 anyway. But in my head, I've already thought if for some reason we were divorcing and I needed cash separate from our joint money, I'd sell my engagement ring. I remember a divorce lawyer telling my sister that your engagement ring is not included in community property because it was a gift prior to marriage. Now if you upgraded at some point during the marriage it gets hazy.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
No, I don't see the point of that. We both have salaries so it isn't like one of us is particularly vulnerable.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Not a secret really, but I do stash away money for different things. Like right now, for the last couple months I've been taking an extra $20 out every time I'm at the grocery store or ATM and have been stashing away from Christmas presents so it doesn't affect our bank account come shopping time. I've done in this in the past when saving up for a surprise trip for DH, since all of our money is joint. Not a divorce fund just a "little bit here and there" to keep a surprise.
honeydew / 7444 posts
@alohaorchid: Exactly. You'd have to report that so i don't think there's a point in having one. The laws are so different now than they were decades ago when the wife was poorly protected.
If i had to start a secret tuckaway account, i would most likely be re-examining the state of our relationship. I have funds/stocks in my name only, but it's not a secret.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
No. I have my account, he has his account and we have joint accounts. There is no secret stash for getting away just in case. I could see how this could be helpful for someone in an abusive relationship but that's not my situation.
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
@blackbird: Yes
I have a savings account from before we were married that I almost never access. So does he. They aren't secret or intended as a 'backup plan'. They're just our own money 
coconut / 8472 posts
Definitely not. For one, if I thought I needed something like that I'd really have to re-examine my marriage. Two, I make plenty of money, more than DH does. So if I want to leave, I'll leave and live on my salary alone.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I have still have a savings account with $200 in it. DH knows about this account
pomegranate / 3809 posts
Yes and no. It's an investment account I had before I met DH. I just never officially added his name to it but he knows it exists. But I guess technically it's mine and since it's premarital, I don't think it'd be split if we split
grapefruit / 4355 posts
No - I don't believe in hiding money from your spouse. All of our money goes in a joint account.
If I was in a an abusive situation, my family and friends would provide money without a second thought to help get me out of it. Although that is a thousand percent not that case with my relationship with DH.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I kind of have a tuckaway account. I grew up receiving the advice "have your own money just in case." Well, I deposited my most recent bonus into a savings account only I have access to. My husband knows I received the bonus, but since we didn't use the money or stowe it elsewhere it feels like it'it's mine all mine. Maybe I'll let it grow without much oversight/ input from my Mr. Lime.
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