My two and a half year old (28 months, to be exact) has been an amazing napper and night time sleeper. Suddenly, five days ago, she became a terrible sleeper! Like a switch went off and she fights nap and bed time sleep. Cries and doesn't want to lay down. She wants to come to my bed, which I have never let her do and she's never known it to be an option. She simply won't go to sleep!! I used to put her down by 8 pm and have a wonderful evening to myself. Am I forever doomed, or are there any sleep training tricks? She's too old to leave to cry it out. (I tried this one night and she was screaming and her room shares a wall with little sissy's room..) She says "I thought I lost you, mommy." Is this all caused by watching Finding Nemo last weekend? (We never watch movies.. this was the first). I am going to try sleeping on the floor in her room all night. Is this a bad idea? Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!
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I wouldn’t introduce anything you don’t want to continue.
What is schedule? Like wakeup for day, nap, bedtime. -
Agree with @SweetiePie: that I wouldn’t introduce you sleeping on the floor if you don’t want to continue that.
I think it’s really common to have major sleep disruptions at that age. Don’t have great advice except it happened to both my kids. My younger one has been slowly dropping her nap since then (against my wishes I might add...) But her nighttime sleep went back to normal after a rough phase for no apparent reason.
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@Foodnerd81: What did you do to get through the rough times? My girl is screaming.
I'm not opposed to trying anything. @SweetiePie: That is my huge huge concern! I have noooo desire to sleep on her floor. Her schedule needs to be changed. She sleeps until 8, and I wake her up. She will sleep until 930 if I let her. She is down to one nap at around 145. Its easy peasy and she sleeps for 2 hours or more. And then bedtime starts around 7 for both kids and she goes to bed around 8ish. This was really all working amazing. Until five days ago she just stopped. I'm thinking about waking her up at 7am tomorrow and starting fresh with that early wake up time every day. Any tips you have would be greatly appreciated! For her nap yesterday, she refused, but I eventually let her take her ipad to her crib and she chilled there for an hour. But ugh.. so very not ideal. And, so much screaming.
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I agree that you shouldn’t introduce a routine you don’t want to keep, like letting her sleep you or you sleeping in her room. Generally, the rule we’ve follow with our now 3 year old is that once it is nap or bedtime, you have to stay in your room. What you do in the room is up to you but the door must be closed, and at night, lights must be off (she had a small timer night light she can use, however). For naps, it can sometimes backfire bc she’ll end up coloring or playing rather than napping, but she almost always would eventually lay down and go to sleep. For bedtime, she sometimes would stay up until 8:30/9 (and we put her down at 7:30) just playing with her stuffies but she would stay in her room and would eventually fall asleep.
This helped me in that I still had my peace and quiet during these down times, and helped her not fight me about being forced to sleep. She used the time to do something of her choice for awhile and generally would fall asleep she ready.
FYI, she has been in a twin bed since she was 2.5, so she was able to get up and entertain herself as needed and then get back into bed when tired. A little tougher if your LO is still in a crib, but you could put a few toys in the crib and then remove once she’s asleep (I used to do that before we moved her into a bed). Good luck!
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There’s something about 2.5 and sleep
I have no solutions, only commiseration. My son was an excellent sleeper until last month - and one day out of nowhere he started crying , screaming, running out of his room, etc. Letting him cry wasn’t an option so I just caved in and let him sleep with me. Now I’ll prob never get him out of our bed but at least he is sleeping -
@pinkcupcake: Oh, no. I'm so sorry you are going through this, too. Do YOU have to go to bed with him when he goes to sleep? I suppose it wouldn't be terrible, because then I will actually be getting some legit sleep. But I'd rather stay up all night watching my netflix shows and riding a stationary bike until midnight - all by myself!
I'd rather have weeks of trying to fix this problem than actually creating a bed sharing situation.
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@castilrm: This really sounds great. How did you get to that point? Did you get past the screaming sleep strike? I'm reading sleep help books fast and trying to figure this out.
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@agold: our biggest issue was trying to force her to sleep but she didn’t actually mind being in her room alone, thankfully. We also had one of those knob protectors on her side of the door, initially to keep her from accidentally locking herself into the room but it also helped by making it harder for her to open the door and let herself out. She was okay with the rule that she had to stay in her room as long as we didn’t force her to sleep - she likes the excuse to play. Maybe you can make it sound like this is a treat for her - have certain toys you only keep in her room and she can only play with while in there (we do this as well bc we have a one year old so we keep any toys with small pieces in my oldest’s bedroom), and that makes it more enticing.
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@castilrm: Thank you so much. These are good suggestions.
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My LO all of a sudden wanted to sleep in my room and we regressed. What worked for me was creating a bedtime routine with pictures he could follow. Also, I made up one for morning that includes time to watch TV. He must sleep in his own bed all night and wake up in his room to enjoy morning TV. LO likes referring back to the pictures and doing the actions. At night after we read a book, he askes to be held. After a few minutes I tell him it’s time to get in his bed and he goes. I do stay in there until he falls asleep though, but he knows I leave at some point.
Naps are a different story. He still needs one and sleeps well at daycare, but at home he fights them. When it’s naptime we let him lay down on the couch or hold him and do a lot of back patting.
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Not a lot of advice, just commiseration. My 2.5 y/o goes down great but 11pm on is usually a battle to get her to stay in her bed. Honestly if we had a king sized bed I’d let her sleep in there because we get up SO many times every night. I now have my husband be the one to get up with her because she’s more attached to me so it’s easier for him to get her back into her bed. It seems to help break the cycle for a few days. I’m trying to follow the “silent return” advice which is to just guide them back to their bed and leave, so you’re removing any kind of sleep crutch. For my DD tickling her back before she goes to bed is a sleep crutch so I’ve cut back on that and stopped in the middle of the night. Only 3 days in but it seems to have helped a bit. But yeah, definitely don’t sleep in her room unless you want to do that on an ongoing basis.
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@agold: with that schedule, I would first try shortening the nap. I remember having to do that with my older LO for a while then was able to extend it to normal again. So wake her up after an hour or hour and a half but keep bedtime the same. Or maybe the earlier morning wake up would have the same effect.
How I dealt with it was totally different for each kid. Older daughter is so stubborn and a limit pusher- if I held her one night she would throw a fit to be held for weeks. So for her, I dealt with the screaming or fighting usually. And sticker charts for good quiet times or night times. My younger one is totally different so for her at bedtime she would sometimes fight it but if I held her for five or ten minutes in the rocking chair, she would settle down and go back to her crib after. Naps are a different beast (which I’ve posted about often). What had been working is leaving a light on or the curtains open and toys and books in her crib. But now she is 3 and screaming about that so I extra child proofed her room and gave her an OK to wake clock and she can play in her room quietly not in her crib and she’s way better. She knows she can lay down if she gets tired but I will be very surprised if that happens. RIP naptime.
ETA: those are the things I tried while it was bad. But honestly it may have just been time. And I’m not afraid to let them cry and mostly they haven’t disturbed each other, which sounds like a bigger problem for your set up.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: do you have any pictures of your bedtime and morning routine pictures? I’ve been meaning to make those for my kids but haven’t gotten to it.
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@Foodnerd81: I found the icons on HB. For right now it works because he can’t read, but I’m going to tweak them a bit. For instance the broom icon says “chore schedule” but I refer to it as Tidy Up and we put toys back and sometimes he takes out his Melissa & Doug broom to sweep too.
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My twins went through this at just about the same age. I also had just had their baby sister so i was exhausting. After a few weeks of just dealing with it since we had been displaced due to a hurricane i finally had enough. We were back in our home and i set out to get us back on track. I would put them to bed, 3 stories then lights out. I stood or sat not speaking in the room and everytime one got up i would just pick them up and put them back in bed. I did not speak to them. The first night it took 2 hours! Then it dropped to 1 1/2 the next night. Then a hour, then finally by the end of the week i maybe had to stay in there 15 minutes and they were asleep. Eventually after probably one more week they were back on track. Hope this or something else works for you.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: thanks! That’s a good idea to reuse those icons!
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This happened with DD1...when I was massively pregnant. We put in nightlights and glowing stars on the walls. She often needed someone in the room with her to fall asleep (at first holding her hand) and we slowly phased it out. Like from holding hand, to sitting by bed, to sitting further away from bed, to sitting by door, to door open outside the room, etc. And some naps I slept my manatee self on the floor by her crib cuz mama was desperate! But she sleeps like a champ now and it ended up being a (somewhat painful) blip. I'm a softy and DH is a child psychologist who is a big behavioralist so we usually end up with some kind of structure compromise
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@MenagerieMama: our experience was really similar, @agold- and it did end up being a blip. I was also extremely pregnant with my son when he decided to pull the rug out under me and disrupt his perfect sleeping pattern at 2y10m. (I am a little bit of a softie because I couldn't stand him wailng for us). It also sounds like Finding Dory could have scared her. Kids are so impressionable!
so what we ended up doing is caving to him but Somehow it did not establish a pattern and he was able to go back to his crib most times. I also think he is napping too much, maybe that's a concern for your daughter? He would nap from like 2 to 4:15 and we would try to put him down at 7:30 and he would freak out. Maybe a shorter nap? And my husband did sleep on the floor with him a few times. He would cry all night and we just couldn't do that to him.
Also, bribes. My guy is super sweet driven so we would give him a treat in the morning if he stayed in his crib. He was always proud of that. 🤷 -
@pachamama: Thank you for sharing your experience. I think that her long late naps weren't helping. I woke her up at 730 today and DH (daddy day care today) will try to nap her early. She went down last night okay becuase she was so tired (no nap), but still woke around 230 and I ended up sleeping on the floor next to her bed. Ugh. But it was a better night and I'm hoping this is a blip!! Fingers crossed.
Thank you, all of you girls, for your thoughts!!! Keep sending if you have any more. I'm not through this, yet!
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We're also going through a 2.5 year sleep regression (she'll be 3 in April). We have just been keeping up with our regular routine. We pushed bed time back a little bit and some days we've skipped nap time (but I'm not ready to give up on nap time altogether yet! LOL). I think we're coming out of it, but we'll see. Only time will tell.
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Could she be getting her 2 year molars? That can mess with sleep...
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@JennyLayneAZ: what happens when you try to nap her?
@Shantuck: I am not sure about molars. But I will consider that today! Thank you for helping me think about that possibility.
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@agold: well, sometimes she throws a tantrum, some days she naps fine, it totally depends on her mood. But....we still have her in a crib, so we have the advantage of being able to put her in there and let her cry for a few minutes and decide whether or not shes going to take a nap. If she fights hard enough I give up and just know that it'll be an early to bed night for her.
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We have times like this. I think that when their world expands separation gets hard. We are at a place right now with my 28-month-old where naps are ok but bedtime is HORRIBLE my almost 4-year-old who doesn't nap goes to bed at 7:45/8 and DS2 is up until 9:30 or so fighting so hard. But he just potty trained and so is dealing with a lot of growing up feelings and needing SO much attention. I am trying to give it and be patient and hope it shifts soon. We sleep with him to start the night sometimes. One of us slept on the floor from time to time with DS1 at this age too I think.... but i cant really remember last year so who really knows.
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Sorry I didn't read through all the posts so some of this might be repeat advice.
Does she have her 2 year molars yet?
And also...it could be separation anxiety. I'd just talk it through with her.
I'm also a HUGE advocate for the OK to Wake Clock!! The concrete "yes, it's time to be awake" and "it's time to be in my bed" really helped my kids!
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My DD who will be 3 I'm April is having an interesting time with sleep the last few months. About 50% of the time there is screaming and crying (from one or both of us). I would love a peaceful bedtime! However, it is still her bedtime and she has to do it even if there are tears. I read "Sleeping Through The Night" when she was just a wee babe, and that is the method we use. It is a gentle sleep training. So we do our routine, tuck her in, and leave. If she cries, I stay out until I can't stand it, go back in, tuck her in, say goodnight, and leave. No picking up, no me getting in bed, nothing I don't want to do every night. We then repeat the process until she is out. I do recommend the book to everyone though, it was a lifesaver after maternity leave, as well as has chapters on other sleep issues.
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@maddyz: Thank you! I do think this is partly a separation issue. And yes, I slept on the floor a bit this past week. My husband preferred to bring her to our bed, but I didn't want that even if it was easier at the moment. I hope that in a years time, I forget all about this, too!
@bees_knees: I looked last night and I see a second set of molars coming in. She was pretty unfazed by all of her teeth, so its interesting that these new molars popping through might be bothering her. But its a good thought. I'm also thinking separation anxiety. Especially since she was saying "I thought I lost you, mommy". That was right after watching finding nemo for the first time. Ugh. No more movies like that.
@rockinghorse: I have a book I love that is helping a bit right now, also! I will check out the book you mentioned. I do like your method. What I ended up doing was this: the first two nights were just brutal and she did end up in our bed. So sweet, I love it, but not a habit I wanted to form. Next few nights, we were able to get her to sleep, but she'd wake up and I would end up sleeping next to her crib on the floor. She pretty much held me hostage.
The last two nights, I was able to say "hey baby girl, mommy's going to go get her pillow and then I will come right back in." She fell asleep while waiting. (Ugh, this actually breaks my heart, but she didn't cry and I figure I am helping her keep good sleep habits). Last night, I was able to get to her sleep by saying "mommy is going to go finish cleaning up the kitchen, you lay here and close your eyes and I will be right back in your room." She did wake and cry one time, but I was able to rock her and put her back in her crib a tad awake and there was no exchange of words. I am praying tonight is better yet. Thanks again for your help! It really helps to hear what tactics everyone else tried that worked.
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Bumping out of desperation! My gal will NOT stay in her toddler bed (had to convert from a crib because of a climbing incident...). The second I try to leave the room, she gets hysterical and won't calm down. I've tried so many of the things on this thread to no avail. I have a tough time with the tears...hellllp! What has worked for y'all?
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My 2nd is the same age (Dec '16) and takes me longer and longer to put her to sleep. But I remember from my 1st that this is the painful period before dropping the nap. I suspect yours is napping too late/long. I wake mine up by 2pm no matter what, and even then she doesn't fall asleep till 9pm or later! I can't wait till she drops a nap and passes out at 7:30 lol
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@graceandjoy: Thanks! It's definitely worse on daycare days when she gets a good nap. When I have her over the weekend, we try to play outside all day and do a short nap, and she can fall asleep in a reasonable-ish time. But geez, last night I was with her until 7 until 10:30 trying to get her to sleep before finally giving up and bringing her to my bed. I don't mind if she wants to come in during the night, but I need her to at least start in her bed so that I can prep for the next day, eat dinner, and (maybe?!?!) relax for ten minutes, ha! The kid is wearing me out.
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@babypugs: Succch a tough age. I have no advice, just commiseration haha. My only consultation is that my older one sleeps fine (more or less) so I know it will be okay eventually...
I'm not opposed to trying anything. 
I have no solutions, only commiseration. My son was an excellent sleeper until last month - and one day out of nowhere he started crying , screaming, running out of his room, etc. Letting him cry wasn’t an option so I just caved in and let him sleep with me. Now I’ll prob never get him out of our bed but at least he is sleeping 
I'd rather have weeks of trying to fix this problem than actually creating a bed sharing situation.
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